severe panic for being away from my mom - please help me!

[hmr]

I don't know what to do I panic every time I am away from my mom. I have been vomiting and there is a burning throughout my body. I am 22 and im scared i will never get over this. I am feeling paralyzed  from this. I'm afraid I will never be independent. I know my mom is feeling trapped and I just dont know what to do any more. I love my mom more than anything and I am afraid she is just going to be done with all of this because she is feeling so trapped and i will be on my own.  I have had a fear of loosing my mom since my dad died 6yrs ago. My anxiety has never been this bad. I just don't know what to do. I am on meds and i see a therapist but I just feel like nothing is working.

[Mythreegirls]

Hi HMR.

I'm sorry about your Dad, I can understand the need to hold onto your Mom extra tight. Is fear of losing or being away from your Mom the source of your anxiety or do you have anxiety and your Mom is your safety person?

-MTG

[jwall378]

If you're anything like myself, your mom may be your sense of security. For me it's not my mom, but my 5 year old son and my wife. During the day if my anxiety is elevated, I look at pictures and videos of my son on my phone and it helps calm me down until I see him after work. It's kind of odd that a 5 year old can give a sense of comfort to a 34 year old man 

[LotsOfExperience]

It sounds like separation anxiety which is a very common symptom. With more exposure practice (being away from your mum) it will fade and eventually go away completely. Your brain is just sensitised to this thought and connecting it with fear. Good luck!

[dloux27]

Hey don't feel bad, I panic every day being away from my mom. She is at a nursing home , here in town and is dying from brain cancer and swelling, so I think about her so much every day and I call her everyday and me and my wife go and see her when we can and when we get up there I feel like bawling cause it hurts me so much to see my mom who is 56 in a nursing home! My dad left us when I was 7 and she is the only parent I have and yes I am a big momma's boy and everyone in my family knows it and when she dies I don't know how I am going to be, my wife is scared that i will shut her out and become angry and start drinking when my mom dies but I keep telling her I won't. I mean now I hardly ever drink and when I do I don't even like the taste of beer that much, so yeah I don't know what is going to happen and I hope it wont be anything bad!

[josho18]

Hmr, you are not the only one that feels this way.

I'm 24 and I'm a momma's boy.  My mum was abandoned by her parents when she was a baby so she doesn't know her real parents and treats my siblings and I as her only relatives.  Some reason I have a much stronger bond to her that my siblings.

Although I don't like talking to her much, I always enjoy her company.  When I'm away from family or home for one night or more I get very depressed.  People tell me its just separation anxiety and I'll eventually get over it.  I wasn't home for more than 80% of my time last year. I made well over 25 trips for work and it never seemed to get easier for me.

There's a part of my that doesn't want this feeling to go away because if I get over it, I'll spend less time with family as I won't miss them as much.

[Quietowl]

I can sort of relate. I was always afraid of my mom leaving. If I couldn't work because of my anxiety, she'd have to go without me. I would get hysterical sometimes, just absolutely no control over myself.

I'm twenty. It's only like this because of the anxiety. Which started up again over a year ago. I'm afraid that I'll have bad anxiety and she's the one who comforts me the most. I lost my dad a year and a half ago. So it seems like your own fear may be losing her too. I've just come to the realization that my anxiety centers around the fear of not being in control. Of circumstances, of what happens in life.

Gradually, have her go out or be away from her - for a short time. Make it ten minutes. Or less if you need. Whatever you feel comfortable with. I can tell you months ago I wouldn't have let my mom leave me. Now she can go and I don't feel so panicked. (Mind you I still like someone around but sometimes it's just my young cousin)

The more you realize that you're okay without her, the less your symptoms will get the best of you. I understand because my mom is my ultimate safety net. I still like to know that she'll be home in a decent amount of time.

I hope you get some relief from the panic. If you need to talk more. Message me.