It's been a little while since I've posted here. Hope everyone is doing well. I may have rehashed some of the stuff in the past, so bear with me. My mom and siblings and I moved last summer to this new place we are currently at. Before we moved, I was having extreme panic attacks just about every single day. When we finally did move, I had to have an ambulance take me to the hospital because I had no idea where I was going to go, and just lost my "safe zone" of several years. After getting brief treatment, I ended up just going to my mom's new place and have lived with her ever since. The first 2 weeks after the move, I was able to get in the car and ride as a passenger for a couple miles away from home. I guess my confidence was a bit high since I had expected the absolute worst when I moved, but I ended up surviving it. After that, my mom had started working again so she really couldn't take me anywhere and I was stuck at home.
So now, I haven't gone anywhere since the summer. As you can imagine, my anxiety has gotten worse over that time frame. Slowly but surely. It's starting to get to the point where there is strong anxiety just about everyday. Last week, I finally got enough courage to make some phone calls to local hospitals and a few other places in my local area. In the past, other relatives have made the calls for me. As of now, I haven't quite found a place that is willing to help me because I lack insurance. I called last Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. I didn't call over the weekend because a majority of the places are closed on the weekends, and I didn't call Monday or Tuesday because honestly, I've been to nervous to call. My social skills aren't very and I guess I'm just kind of embarrassed to speak to people. I've always been pretty shy my entire life. I try to give myself a pep talk to get me ready to call, but it hasn't always helped. I don't know, I just wish I wasn't so nervous about speaking with people about this. My family has always taken care of me, but I want to take responsibility for myself. I would be the one who would rather make these calls. Maybe that's why it's hard for me, because these kinds of things have been handled by relatives. I know I should have done this sooner. I'm just hoping to get some stable help asap, and try not to live with my mom anymore because it's not a good situation.
I kinda got into rambling a bit, but thank you for taking the time out to read this. I appreciate it.