Symptoms/fears you've had that mysteriously disappeared?

[colls22]

Admittedly, I'm writing this as a bit of a CBT exercise of my own, but I thought it might be helpful to others as well. I've been in my acute period of HA for about a year and a half. In that time, I've had many fears, and many, many actual physical symptoms. Like we all do, I've said to myself "these are real, there is no way my mind cam do this".

The truth is, none of them, to date, have been. That's not to say we can't have actual physicalroblems like everyone else, but the big difference is, ours usually start from worry.

So, here is my round up. Again, everything I'm listing here has come and gone without any treatment at all.

Muscle twitching, including buzzing sensations in arches of feet
Internal tremors and sensations of vibration
GERD
Difficulty swallowing
Pain and weakness in left shoulder
Frequent and urgent urination
Every kind of strange bowel movement imaginable
Perceived slurring or words
Weakness
Loss of appetite
Pelvic pain (similar to menstrual cramps)
Changes in periods, including toting between
Hoarse voice
Jaw stiffness
Leg stiffness

...and this is not a complete list.

Isn't this amazing?

[mollyfin]

I have every single one of those right now       What can you do? 

I also get a shitton of headaches and every kind of pain imaginable.  Probably from being tense all the time. 

[scaredstupid]

how long do your symptoms usually last?

[colls22]

Honestly, as long as it takes for me to get whatever reassurance I feel I need. Days, weeks, even months.

[scaredstupid]

Were any of them actually physical? I feel exactly like yo said. I have no doubt in my mind that these are real symptoms. The weight loss (even tho im eating everything in site)..Dry throat, slight rash. But like you said..when Im in a comfort zone it seems to go away. BUT at the same time I feel its still there. I know it sounds weird

[colls22]

Well, they were all physical in that they were all really, truly happening. As far as we're any of the causes purely physical, tough to say. For instance, I do think I did something g to my shoulder to initially cause the problem, however, I think that it was my anxiety that was maintaining it. I think I might have even been doing things on a subconscious level to maintain it (ie sleeping in a strange position).

The reason I think my anxiety was maintaining it? Well, literally the day I had an EMG test that revealed no nerve issues with the arm, it magically went away. Either the biggest coincidence ever, or my mind at work.

The acid reflux is another great example - struggled with it horribly, thought I was having trouble swallowing. Had a swallow study done, and bam, it goes away.

The problem, obviously, is that I can only dismiss a symptom with concrete and objective reassurance. That's the HA mind at work, and it's really, really destructive behaviour.

[gcalex]

When you come to embrace the idea that anxiety can cause almost any symptom, you will no longer need outside reassurance.

[scaredstupid]

Thats how I feel. I can have a few symptoms than as soon as a dr or someone tells me what they think it seems to go away. BUT than a few days later ill notice something and bam its right back. im in such a bad state of mind right now its scary.

Gcalex  your my favorite person on this site! lol..you always have some good advice  or at least from what ive read. Its truly appreciated.

[colls22]

Agreed! Gclax, you seem so calm and level headed. I can't even believe you have health anxiety!

[gcalex]

It's not having it that's important, it's understanding what it is and learning how to challenge it and thereby to strip it of its power.  And I can promise you that the first and perhaps fundamental mistake a HA person makes is to misinterpret symptoms.  It's not having the symptoms that matters and it's not losing them that should be the goal, although that will happen eventually.  The important thing is to change how we REACT to the symptom.  You and I could get the exact same symptom.  Because I am farther down the path, I probably would say, it's just anxiety and not pay any attention to it, or at worst get annoyed.  Someone less far down the path will jump right to OMG I have x y or z.  It's the REACTION, not the symptom, that is important.  But once we understand that anxiety is indeed capable of producing stuff that FEELS physical, and we embrace that concept, we won't jump to the OMG, and we will lose the fear.  So you have to master that first step.  And it ain't going to happen in a flash of insight, it takes repetition, and self-talk and self-challenge and practice and study.

[scaredstupid]

gcalex, how can I stay level headed when im getting all these things wrong with me and I have to wait  certain time frame to get tested? It seems like enough to just drive you to the point of insanity. I dont have any coping mechanisms  right now.

[colls22]

And scared, let me guess, you're afraid that if you ignore something, it could really turn out to be something, right? That is absolutely what I struggle with most.

[scaredstupid]

Yes!!! i feel like the longer Wait thequicker its gonna hit me and the more symptoms I will find.

[gcalex]

gcalex, how can I stay level headed when im getting all these things wrong with me and I have to wait  certain time frame to get tested? It seems like enough to just drive you to the point of insanity. I dont have any coping mechanisms  right now.

I don't know your personal situation, but MOST people here are likely young and objectively healthy and would pass a physical and bloodwork with flying colors.  They only THINK something is wrong with them.  Look around you objectively, you see the same symptoms and the same fears over and over again.  Look into your own past, have you feared things that turned out to be false alarms?  Have you had symptoms you were convinced were the manifestation of a serious disease but that went away?  If that describes you, you have to LEARN from that experience, and the lesson is that anxiety and stress play havoc with the body and that you have a thought disorder that is tricking you into thinking it's something else.  As I said, the symptoms are unimportant, once you understand their source.  How many tests have you had before that were negative?  In ALL likelihood it's going to be the same thing again, you are just repeating the pattern.  As someone said if we don't learn from the past we are condemned to repeat it. 

[gcalex]

And scared, let me guess, you're afraid that if you ignore something, it could really turn out to be something, right? That is absolutely what I struggle with most.

Sure you can find horror stories on the internet, but I believe for the overwhelming part serious diseases don't start with symptoms that are mistaken for anxiety.  Somewhere else I posted some thoughts about how to tell the difference, but for example when symptoms come and go, or migrate from side to side, or are worse when you are more stressed, or start in times of stress, or are similar to past symptoms that turned out to be nothing, that's a pretty good sign it's anxiety causing them. 

[scaredstupid]

That does sound right. But I honestly cant tell the difference.

[gcalex]

That does sound right. But I honestly cant tell the difference.

Try starting from the presumption that your symptom is NOT indicative of a serious disease, instead of the other way around. 

[scaredstupid]

I have been trying to that today. The harest part for me is staying away from google and the mirror. All my stuff just gets worst when I look in the mirror. My heart rate has been fast for about 2 weeks straight just because I wake up nervous and go to bed nervous. Its such a hard thing to shake. I know people on this site know where im coming from

[gcalex]

Well you know as well as I do Google is the road to ruin.  When you have the urge find something positive or at least neutral to do instead.  Reprogram your fearful mind.

[scaredstupid]

Thats the truth. Like I said, Im terrified of hiv. But according to google those symptoms are also for diabetis, shingles common cold. I mean its crazy. And all the drs ive talked to say that hiv really has no symptoms til maybe years down the road. But a lot of spots on google say 2 to 6 weeks. Anyway I have an appointment with a dr next week. Until than I am going to try to do what you said and do something to focus my mind elsewhere. i am actually ok when im around people or on the phone or even on this site. Its when im alone or driving I get all these thoughts going.

[NoRest]

This happens to us all, some out of he blue symptom will start and then its like OH No! I can't be imagining this! Followed by a trip to the gp which ends with, you are fine! Stop worrying! And all your family and friends are so confused as to what on Earth brings this on, it's maddening. But you are not alone, just this year I have had facial tremors, vision changes, strange bowel movements (even blood once), weakness, muscle aches, breast lumpiness (which was the worst), imagined enlarged lymph nodes, headaches, pelvic pain and every bit of it turned out fine, this is a horrible thought disease, it can really ruin your life, but we have to be stronger, we cannot let it take us!

[scaredstupid]

No Rest, you hit it on the head. My worst thing is I tend to self medicate meaning if I cant sleep ill pop a double dose of sleeping pills. Than in the morning when im groggy and tired ill be more scared lol. i know it sounds dumb. Or if I get real nervous I would put a dip of tobacco in. Which could have some affects on the body. Ive recently quit tho. Which could also have some change on the body lol. Its all just so scary and confusing. Plus I usually drink a 24oz rockstar everyday to get me awake off the sleeping pills. All in all it could be a list of things causing any one thing im feeling. But when you get to a certain point of fear it seems for me at least I try to cope with it by covering it up. A mental patch so to say.

[colls22]

Scared, I do the exact same thing, but substitute wine. It's actually been really bad over the last year, but when you get to that point that you can't shut your mind off, you'll do anything for even a bit of distraction, and just a short mental break, right?

[scaredstupid]

Thats exactly right! Im pretty much looking for a mental break when I do anything. It just feels like its a calming thing but than at the end of the day its making things worse. Its nice to know people can relate. thats why I love this site