Is this normal for intrusive thoughts?

[heartsick]

I'll preface this by stating categorically that I am NOT suicidal. I am in fact, terrified of death. But lately random stray thoughts float through my head about it. My intrusive thoughts have never really manifested as "what ifs?" They manifest as more of a statement. I have gotten a lot better about giving my intrusive thoughts power over me, but every once in awhile, one knocks me down. My heart pounds and I'm angry and scared about a particular thought. The one that is really bothersome is that I have random thoughts about 0119. Such as "If I got a friendship bracelet, it would keep me from 0669." Which is odd, because I would never 0473 whether I got a bracelet or not. I've been able to trace a lot of my intrusive thoughts back to their source and banish them, but this one kind of shakes me up still. I think that this one comes from the fear that intrusive thoughts or anxiety might bring me to a place that I've never been before. Has anyone dealt with this before. I can't go see a therapist yet because of insurance issues.

What bugs me most, is that yesterday, I had a good day and was feeling great and very positive. And then this one thought had darkened my day. I'm trying to look at it as just another thought, but it's so hard to treat it as such.

[EclecticJoe]

Yep I have had the same thoughts since last spring. They go in spurts and I consider them to be the "nuke" of Pure O. I have no reason to be depressed or suicidal but they start making you wonder if you are. I hate them. They are better since I changed medicines and started thought redirection but they find new ways to morph that absolutely drive me bonkers.

PM me if you want to discuss further.

[heartsick]

Well that sucks, but is relieving. I'll just have to start redirecting. I'm sorry that you are dealing with this too. It really sucks! Tomorrow will be better! I'm just going to have to think positively from now on!

And thank you for your help! I hope it gets better for all of us!

[Pippy187]

Your obsessive thought patterns sound very similar to mine.... Very draining at times