First Counseling Appt Today

[aunjypoo]

I went to my counseling appt on my lunch today.. Today's visit was mostly just getting to know me..
She said I definitely have "some sort of anxiety disorder". As far as my physical symptoms she's toying around with the idea of anxiety and possibly a benzo withdrawal even though I was on a low dose for a short amount of time.

She seems to think my anxiety is stemmed from my fear of dying. Ever since I can rememeber even when I was little I would lay awake at night thinking about death and dying.

As far as my anxiety levels go they have been managable today. I haven't googled, and as far as self checking I've done pretty good.

She said at some point during my therapy she will tell me I can't google, and then that I can't go to the dr if I am worried about an illness, that I will have to just deal with my anxiety.

She said some people deal with anxiety by alcohol, drugs, self medicating, and that mine is no different because I feed it with research and worrying.

She also said she is not a medical dr so she can't tell me what is going on as far as I feel. Just that anxiety causes a lot of physical symptoms. I had.

I was set to go back in 3 weeks but she changed it to next Thursday because she doesn't want me to wait that long.

Anyways, I feel pretty ok today, so now just to see if it lasts. She hasn't giving me any tools persay to work with yet so I am still on my own at this point.

[gcalex]

Definitely a step in the right direction, it's anxiety, not whatever illness you fear.  Best wishes with the therapy and remember most of the work you have to do on your own, the therapist can only guide you.

[Brody108]

Excited for you and hope your recovery goes well! It's such a relief when you leave the therapists office. I wish I could continue mine but I am having financial issues at the moment.

[remote1823]

Yay!  That's a positive step. I just started therapy a few weeks ago -- had my 3rd session today.

She seems really hopeful and confident that she can help me get over this so I hope so!

So far I've had to agree to only see 1 doctor (no more doctor hopping!) and only do self checks every other day instead of 1012 times a day like I was.

[aunjypoo]

Day two of no Google, and I only self-checked once I think and it wasn't even intentional sometimes if I'm bored when I'm in the vault at work I walk on my heels. Since I decided not to worry about it my legs and feet feel mostly fine.

I think I may have a touch of carpal tunnel or tendonitis, my left wrist feels really tight and I get tingles in my fingers occasionally and my index finger and thumb shake after ive held them in a position or held something too long.. But its the hand that I use to quickly shuffle papers so I'm almost positive that has a lot to do with it. Mostly just feels fatigued, not weak as my strength is still there..
I tried heat last night, I'll try ice and more rest tonight. I'll gladly take worrying about carpal tunnel over something else anyday.

[aunjypoo]

Speaking of Carpal Tunnel I must say Im proud of myself.. ALS crossed my mind for a brief minute today and I told myself "This happened a couple weeks ago too, when I had a busy day at work and did a lot with my hands and fingers.. If I still have all my strength it doesn't matter if my arm *feels* fatigued. I just need to try to rest it and let it pass. Primary sign of ALS is weakness, not tingling in your fingers and hand that comes and goes depending on how your arm is bent or stretched." And stayed calm about the whole thing.. I'd say that's progress.