This is so stupid..

[xLorrainex]

but I finally have to write something, I just keep obsessing and it's really getting to me.
I have had a number of things that I thought I have had, blood clots, brain tumors, etc and now it's decided to be HIV.
Along with my anxiety and hypochondria I also have OCD, and I know that's why I'm having the repetitive, obsessive thoughts.
I am eighteen years old and I live in South-West England and always have, I have only had sex with one guy and that was when I was 15 - 16 years old and he was 16 - 17 I was in an on/off kinda' relationship with him, I know he slept with possibly two people before me, one of which I know was a virgin and they'd have also been 15/16.
There were a couple of times when we used no protection and I know that was silly, my worries/obsessions at the time were pregnancy but that didn't happen, thankfully.
I just don't know what I should do, it's got to the point that I'm thinking of giving blood, just so I can get it screened, even though I'm terrified of needles. I just don't feel I can go and actually get a test. I'm being so irrational, but I seriously cannot help it. 

[gcalex]

This one is easy, at least in theory -- treat the OCD and anxiety.  What have you done to treat your thought disorder?

[xLorrainex]

I've begun counselling recently, although this should have been done quite a few years ago, as it has only got progressively worse, the hypochondria/health anxiety has only been for the past two years. :/

[gcalex]

I just reposted a thread that, at least in summary form, says everything I know that has been useful to me.  I hope some of it may help you see the way out of this.  Counseling is not enough although it's a great start -- you have to work on your own, constantly. 

[xLorrainex]

Okay, thank you and I know, but hopefully it's the start of getting over it, it's all so tiring, ha.

[xLorrainex]

Anyone else?

[xLorrainex]

Please guys, I'm going out of my mind, I don't know what to do/think.

[gcalex]

What are your symptoms that make you think you have HIV? 

[xLorrainex]

I don't have any, that's the thing, I've never known myself to be this bad. I guess this is more my OCD than Hypochondria, but when I had 'symptoms' for the 'brain tumor' and things, I could rule things out. I'm literally going out of my mind, I know to be sure I should take a test, but I know I'm being irrational at the same time.

[gcalex]

Why do you need a test with no symptoms and essentially no risk factors?  You need to keep challenging your thoughts with evidence, in my opinion.  In your state of mind the test won't reassure you, you will either question whether it was accurate or move onto another fear.

[ncmomma]

I have no idea how to make it go away, but wanted to say you are not alone in the whole obessive thinking. I too have VERY similar obbessing thinking pattern which they have put me on zoloft but I haven't stayed on it long enough to actually see if it helps. Before my son was born, I sorta worried about my health a little but it wasnt until I thought I was going to have children and afraid I might have a disease and pass it on to the child. Now since having my son I still worry about him in Obessive way, that I can't get it to stop and not obess over the smallest things. I get into a panic at times when something I see might sort of resemble some kind of symptom of a disease. If you figure out a trick into getting and obessive mind to chill let me know lol

[gcalex]

There are no tricks, there is only long, hard work.