Left sided numbness/weakness

[mollyfin]

For a long time now I've been having what I thought were constant migraines (which I blamed on Wellbutrin).  My left side feels numb and heavy.  But it's suddenly getting worse.  I'm having trouble using my left hand, trouble walking, awful pain in that side of my face.  I'm terrified about having a stroke.  But I also know that anxiety can exacerbate these exact symptoms, and nothing says anxiety like 24/7 migraine aura.  My friends and girlfriend are encouraging me to go to the ER, but I'm hesitant.  After all, I've been having these symptoms for weeks and am not dead yet.  On the other hand, they did suddenly get a lot worse.  I'm unsure about what to do.  Right now my plan is to "give it to God," figure that if I do die in the next 24 hours, well, it's just my time to go, and see my regular doctor in the morning to see if he thinks it's anything more sinister than a migraine.  But I'm worried I'm underreacting.  Or overreacting.  Help?  What would my fellow health-anxious people do? 

[sixpack]

personally I always know when I need a doc visit for myself or my kids.  There is never any hemming or hawing about it. 

[mollyfin]

I feel better than I did yesterday.  I'm terrified of getting checked out because of the possibility of having to have another MRI...obviously if I actually do have a problem it's necessary, but I foresee weeks of needless anxiety for nothing.  But the last time I went to the doctor with a problem (that I was of course convinced was something horrible), it was something that he could fix easily. 

My instincts really aren't that great.  Twice I've had an okay, ER now moment.  Once I ended up being needlessly admitted for something I could have seen a doctor for over the long weekend (got the flu and a kidney infection on the same Good Friday...that was freakin' fun), the other turned out to be a painless migraine. 

[gcalex]

I think it would be helpful for you to make a list of all the things you have feared you had in the last year (it seems you have been posting about that long) and how many turned out to be real.

[mollyfin]

Yeah that's a good idea.  I feel worse today but I'll try to distract myself and if that helps I'll know it's mainly anxiety.  I do have a doctor appointment on weds just in case - hoping he doesn't decide to "play it safe" and send me for tests I don't need, but that's not really his style. 

[mollyfin]

I'm having trouble typing...the words in my head don't seem to come out when I type...I'm sure it's just stress/all in my head but it's freaking me out.  I hate being like this. 

[gcalex]

Of course it's anxiety, you are working yourself up into a tizzy.  What are you doing to treat anxiety?

[mollyfin]

Trying to keep distracted mostly.  Also I do have anti-anxiety medication that I've been using.  I try to use it sparingly now (I used to be told to take it daily but I was worried about getting addicted, as this particular medication can be severely addictive and cause hellish withdrawal - though weirdly it's the one medication that's never caused me withdrawal issues!) but I'm taking it now to keep myself from completely freaking out. 

I've had weakness and numbness with anxiety before but it's usually starting in my neck and down through both arms, not the face, arm and leg on one side of my body. 

[gcalex]

Therapy?  CBT work?  Exercise?  Meditation/relaxation?

[mollyfin]

Trying to find a therapist; not really much luck though.  There are plenty out there, but not many seem to really know what to make of health anxiety. 

[dhoosee]

Yes, I have troubles typing (though not right now):   Misspelling, poor coordination, can only type SLOWLY when I can "normally" type quickly and accurately.  Xanax seems to help me, but not always.   I have numbness in my hands, forearms, legs and feet that come and go.  Typing is the same way.    I have MS fears, and doc has told me repeatedly that I do not.  Have been without symptoms for a LONG time, but they seem to be back lately.  Stressed at work and at home.   Just started Emsam patch (6mg / 24 hour), and it seems to be helping with my anxiety and depression,  but my physical stuff seems to be getting worse!   

Hope that my experience helps you out...

[mollyfin]

Thanks :)