Break up pain never equal

[Iamstruggling]

Hello I am going through a horrible break up at the moment, my exgirlfriend a month ago decided to end things without telling me why after over 3 years at first I thought we could talk things through and some how work things out with each other, but I found out after a couple weeks she started a new relationship with another man after a week of the break up and this crushed me completely. She was my first love and only love and after 5 years of friendship and 3 of love she destroyed my self esteem. How am I going to move on after a relationship breakup like this? My lack of close friends and now I know she knew this guy before we broke up has crushed me completely, the other day she deleted me from (face)book and hasn't spoke to me since.

She was amazing when I first met her she was strong and loving and was the person that said she loved me first which made my heart do backflips, so her not even trying to repair what was wrong has left me shattered and alone. I found out through a friend she has started to add new photos and comments like I'm sorry I kept you up last night and I have never messaged anyone so much in my life which left me weak and depressed. I am struggling at work in a job I hate and with no money I don't know where to go from here. I had to move back in with my parents because I had no where to go after the relationship which at 30 is the icing on the cake. Sometimes I feel it maybe easier if I just end everything because nobody would notice that I am gone. This is a huge cry for help I don't know where to go from here and my heart feels like it is bleeding and the fuzziness in my head hasn't gone away since the break up. Please help

[evagisele]

There's a saying that goes "When you're going through hell, just keep going." DON'T END IT! Do NOT give up! I've been through break-ups before and sure, they aren't easy, but you can move on and you will. A guy who I would love to try a relationship with will be moving away soon. I've been too shy to say anything. I just had a pretty good cry today  over that and I'm still kinda numb and fuzzy too. I don't have a ton of close friends either. On the one hand, you have to allow yourself time to grieve a relationship and the hopes and dreams that were with it. But on the other hand, keep yourself busy and remember that you'll get through this. I don't know if you want to hear the cliches of "there's someone better out there," "your heart will go on," blah, blah, blah. But it really is true. I'm reminding myself of this now, too. Certainly, if you feel like hurting yourself, please please get some help. I'll keep you in my prayers.

[howifeel]

I agree. It is kind of like when you hit your thumb with a hammer. It really hurts sharply at first. Then the sharp pain subsides, and you have some dull nagging pain for a while. Then you heal, and you are smarter. Why end your life now? How about putting it off for a while to wait and see. I also know that in this situation, the desire to end it all is also a matter of anger, as well. It's totally normal to feel lost and alone after something like that. The fact that you are reaching out on this forum is a really good sign. Depression, whether clinical, or related to a situation, seems to constantly say, "Things will only get worse, never better. I am always going to be (fill in the blank). Sorry about your loss. Millions of us have been there. It does heal. If you really look at relationships, many of us remain comfortable in a relationship where the other person doesn't really care about us. Then we meet someone who really does care about us, and we feel awkward.

I also heard someone say, people who are married, wish they were single. People who are single wish they were married. People who have no children wish they could have them, and then those that have children wish they didn't. It's crazy. Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.

Hang in there, and procrastination is good when it comes to how you feel now. I'm so glad I didn't stay with my first love! (took me a while to realize it).