Argument with Husband

[tnlady10]

My husband and I had what seemed to be a minor run-in this morning. He needed to get up to be somewhere and was still not up 30 minutes before he needed to be there.
 
I got irritated because I feel that being late for things is extremely rude and inconsiderate. I finally went to wake him up because I knew him being at this event was important and the people that he was meeting there kept calling. I went to wake him up and he said "you're bothering me" (he is not a morning person).
I got annoyed because I was trying to wake him up for his own benefit, not mine. I said something along the lines of "well, if you wouldn't be so lazy, I wouldn't have to bother you."

He then jumps up, says "leave me the h alone" and goes into the bathroom and starts slamming cabinets and things while he gets ready. I am way taken aback, because I have not said anything worth this kind of reaction, and it upsets me. When he comes back to the bedroom, he says something like "why are you crying? I didn't call you lazy!" which is apparently what the temper tantrum was about.  I tried to apologize but he just ignored and walked around fuming.

My husband prides himself on being a hard worker, and he is. He takes on what is honestly more than his share of housework (I am currently pregnant and am just now starting to get back my energy, etc) in addition to working 40+ hours a week. So he is certainly by any means not lazy.

However, when I called him lazy this morning, I was meaning it in the context that he had promised to be somewhere and was not getting up. It certainly was not meant as a character attack, but he took it that way. I am having a hard time getting past this today, because it was such an extreme reaction to such a minor thing. If I had yelled at him or cursed at him, I would have understood his anger with me.
 I am so taken aback because he is truly an even-tempered and caring person...the anger at something so minor is not typical. I hate even writing this because he is such a wonderful husband.  (Also, as I said, I am pregnant and more prone to hurt feelings right now.)

He has apologized numerous times and asked to put this behind us, but I am having a hard time. I am having trouble putting words to why this upset me so much and I need a little help. I'd like to get the point across to him that this was an enormous overreaction over something that was taken out of context.

[Cuchculan]

OK. We can accept that over-reacted to your calling him lazy. You were doing what you were doing for his best interest. But there comes a time when we have to let things go. He has said how sorry he was a good few times. All it would have taken was for you to simply say ' do you really know how much you upset me this morning '. I am not taken his side in this one at all. But the more you drag it out the worse it may become. He may get fed up with you bringing up over and over again. Couples argue at times. They may say things on the spur of the moment. Things they don't really mean. It happens with all couples and in all marriages too. But recognising a mistake, which I think he has done, and knowing when to move on, which I think you are failing to do, is key to putting things right between you again. If you wish to have one chat with him and make him promise he won't snap at you like that again, that you can try and have. But just try and let this one thing go. A help help right something that may become badly wrong if you keep going on about it to him.

[laura124]

I agree that you should try to move on.  He's apologized so try to accept that and go on as usual.  Your husband may feel under pressure because of the extra household duties during your pregnancy and the extra financial responsibility that comes with having to a support a child.  It's all normal.  We all have our moments...

[tinam7]

Agree with the fine posts but will add this: did you apologize for suggesting he is lazy?

We must be careful with words and that goes both ways. Baby will be all smiles when it sees its happy parents.