Trying to kill my hypochondria with "mind over matter" but it's not working :(

[Icantsayreally]

After my anxiety relapse that started a few weeks ago, I've been back in hell. And since then, I have a new fear: Colon Cancer. I'll run the list over and how I'm trying to combat the fear. (Note: None of these events seemed to happen until after I was sick.)
-Lost weight: No more than 2 1/2 weeks ago I had severe vomiting and diarrhea and I went to my pediatrician (some general rule requires me to stay with a pediatrician until the age of 18). The doctor ran several tests and ruled out a "stomach bug". Anything I ate caused me to vomit; I had to fast for nearly two days (I have a fast metabolism, so that rules out weight loss fear. Dropping me from 135 to 126-7). So, I had to result to vitamin fluids to avoid dehydration.
-Blood in stool: Days after being able to eat, I had a bad nosebleed. What I do remember is swallowing a moderate amount of blood (had my head tilted up until I found some tissue). That night and the day after, my feces had small amounts of red "specks" on it. And today (which is two weeks after) I found one small speck. Though, as my hypochondria overruled me, I had to Google the image. Fortunately, my blood amount was no-where near of what I saw (unfortunately it was full of disturbing images).
-Constipation/Narrow Stools/Change in bowel habits- Some of this has changed. I was constipated for a few days, but it's gone now. I did have narrow stools two days, and that was all.
Even though I have sufficient evidence to kill my insufficient symptoms with, it's not enough. Just when I thought I escaped the grasp of anxiety, it comes back. So far I've already had 'visions' of me running out the house and heading to the ER. Anyone ever had an experience like this and got over the fear?

[sixpack]

a red speck doesn't constitute blood in the stool.

swallowing blood from a nose bleed would NOT cause you to have red blood in the stool.   by the time it got to your stool it would be dark.  old blood turns dark.

if you are going to a pediatrician, then you are a youngster which means you don't have colon cancer.

everybody's poos change around.  sometimes mine are flat (which ISN"T btw a determiner of colon cancer) sometimes I have diarrhea, sometimes I"m constipated, sometimes I have specks or dots or dark poos or light poos.  This happens to everybody depending on our emotional state, what we've eaten, what we haven't eaten....

  So far I've already had 'visions' of me running out the house and heading to the ER. Anyone ever had an experience like this and got over the fear?
 

around here not only have people had 'visions' of running to the er over irrational/illogical fears but have done so only to be told they are not dying of X disease.  This doesn't end the fear cycle though.  No, it just further entrenches the thinking disorder.  That is pretty much what endless reassurance, googling, and self-checking, self testing, and monitoring do to a peep with anxiety. 

What do you do for your anxiety disorder?  what deterimental habits can you give up that are only hindering your recovery?  what proactive habits can you adopt?  what do you know, in general, about anxiety?  How old are you?  If you are still a teen, as your post seems to infer, do your parents know about your anxious over thinking?  I'm a mom to 6.  I have a child with anxiety/depression and we are working on it.  It isn't always an easy road to hoe but my child is TONS better than he was last year.  So my suggestion is to have a heart to heart with your parents.  You don't have to live in fear.

[Icantsayreally]

Thanks for the reassurance, sixpack. Irrational thinking has been on my mind lately but in all honesty, it's ruining my life. As for your questions, I used to take buspirone to treat my anxiety but it caused me (as said by friends and family) to become a zombie. Since I was rarely aware of my surroundings, I had to stop the pill. Since then, I usually try laying down and listening to music while reading. At times, it does work. For better habits, I could try to block any medical websites by using a proxy. Anxiety, by definition for me, is a nightmare. My parents are well aware of my anxiety (considering the fact I used to appear in the ER at least 4 times a week) and they try to reassure me and calm me down. If the panic attack is severe, mom used to remove any connection of the Internet until the attack was (like taking my phone away or removing the battery from all the laptops) gone. Regardless, it's hard to talk about anxiety with them because they've never "spent a day in my shoes", so it makes even more difficult to talk about my symptoms let alone how it feels. But lately, mom has gotten a better understanding of my condition which really helps. Thanks again for the information.

[sixpack]

I think worrying that your fam or friends haven't spent 'a day in your shoes' and thus don't really understand your predicament is really a moot point.  They could say the same for you, right?  I mean you haven't spent a day in their shoes so you don't have intimate knowledge of their worries or struggles either.  I'm quite sure your family is fretting over how to help you but don't what to do anymore.   Either way it doesn't matter.  Your parents want to lend a hand.  We all have struggles in this life.  I would suggest talking with your mom about getting into therapy.   this, of course, is a long term commitment but I would had to see you waste your life worrying over things.  You shouldn't give all of your joy away.

in the mean time, google "self-help for anxiety".  You will find a lot of online workbooks etc that can get you started.  Also, posted as a sticky, at the top of this page are some self-help modules.  Look in the meds and therapy section of the site and you will find the same posted in there.

Bottom line this disorder doesn't just go away.  WE have to take responsiblity for it by taking the proactive steps in getting better.  It takes a lot of courage for sure because of th unknown.  but in the end you'll be glad you did
 

[nj]

Sounds like you have anxiety driven IBS. I've been there, done that.

When your anxiety is ramped up, the digestive system is a mess, causing almost everything you're describing.

Bright red blood in the stool would be more like a tear or wiping too hard or something. Nothing ominous.