everything is going wrong

[Ginger79]

    I am starting to get overwhelmed. My anxiety is starting to rise! My children are doing great. My marriage is almost nonexistent. I feel like at any minute I could have a panic attack. I need a job but no one will hire me because I only know how to take care of dogs. All I wanted was a part time job at walmart or something along those lines. But no one will give me the time of day. My husband and I do very little talking. He leaves for work before I get up and when he comes home we don't talk. I am so mentally exhausted. I am gaining weight and I hate it but so tired I can't even get the energy to get up and do something as simple as a sit up. I have no insurance and money will be getting tight soon. I think the only thing that is good in my life is my children. I look at them and see my anxiety in my son my weight gain is my youngest daughter. My oldest daughter hides her feeling behind sarcasim. I feel like my walls are closing in on me and I'm scared.

[Cuchculan]

These are the times we have to dig deepest of all. When it seems like there is no way out. Like you are trapped in a corner. Walls all around you. Can't move backwards. Can't move forwards. Just stuck in that one position. Now let us take out a pen and paper. What would come first on your list for sorting this little problem out? We can view things in two ways. We can look at the overall picture and we can see a horror story. Or we can break it down into smaller pieces and take it one piece at a time. The problem doesn't seem as massive if we do things in this way. So your husband first. We are going to put him on the top of our list. No matter if he likes it or not. Talk time between you and him. Simple case of saying ' we need to talk and we need to talk now '. Let him know where exactly your thinking is at. That you have noticed he has become more distant over the past while. Is there any reason for him doing this? Have you done anything to make him want to become so distant from you. Make it clear that you need to know. That you are trying to sort things out in your life. And that is one thing that is a big part of what you see going on in your life right now.
Now we can look at the kids. Is there anything we can do with the kids to find out exactly how they see life right now? Kids are smarter than we imagine. They are there to be talked to as well. A bit of mother / kid time. Maybe rent out a movie. Or even out in the back garden. Just playing around for a while. Exercise will do everybody the world of good. But then you can begin asking a few questions. From what you hear back you can begin to make changes in lifestyles that might help the kids out too. Could be simply in what they eat. To making sure they do get outside the house and get involved in things at least three times a week. No sitting on the sofa playing games and doing nothing else at all. Changes can be made for the better of the whole family.
Now how about you. You want to work with dogs. The first thing I would ask is, is there any local support groups in your home area? Just a place you can go and talk. Talk about you. Most areas have these places. They can also help out in directing a person back towards work again. Once they see you are willing to make the changes they will be willing to take you on and help you out. It might not be easy to begin with. Nothing ever is. But there is always a road back. We just have to keep pushing forward.
So remember, break your problems down into smaller ones. Deal with them one at a time. Make those changes happen. You will get there in the end. Never say never.

[irishgirl441]

hang in there! i used to tell myself when i was a believer "god will never give us more than we can handle" so i would think "i must be able to handle all of this!" and somehow i would get through to the next day. and when i am super down and can't see the point of anything, i try and remember the great small moments i got to share with my boyfriend (or in your case kids, husband, friend, seeing a pretty sunset, etc) and remind myself i'm really glad i got to have that, it makes it that much more worth it.

you have a sister in the "everything is going wrong" - i finally got out of 6yr abusive marriage very emotionally damaged, my father died suddenly, my 2 close aunts and uncles and 3 cousin all moved halfway across the state, i found the love of my life (best friend for years): only to be cheated on by him and am living in paranoia trying to fix our relationship, i got laid off from my job and have great skills but STILL can't get a job and it's been months and im broke and have no insurance and want a career change.. all of this in a span of 2 years!

my best advice is - find something that works for you now to help (tips with dealing with depression and attacks) while you find a counselor. don't be afraid to admit you might need some prescribed pharmaceutical assistance, and start scheduling some real 'out of the house' date nights with your husband and kids to get to know them better and with your husband - to lovingly share with him your needs, concerns and affirmations of love.