Now that I know just how inconsistent you have been, I can see why you would experience the withdrawal symptoms you mentioned. Klonopin is different than xanax or ativan in that if you take it properly, you can experience a constant state with no feeling of withdrawal (peaks and valleys). This medication is great for that. If you had chosen ativan, to keep a calm state, you probably would have had to take it 4 times a day. Your doctor prescribed well, you just didn't follow instructions. I'm not condemning you because I completely understand why. I'm like you in that I don't like to take meds but know I need it. I always try to take the least amount....It's just that this particular benzo does work better if you take it as scheduled. The shorter acting benzos are more of an as needed type.
I've been on klonopin for about 5 years...I'm losing track...LOL Once I found the level that was good for me (that only took a couple of weeks), I've been on the same dose ever since. .5mg in the morning and .5mg 12 hours later. I've had very few panic attacks since, but they have happened and for situations like that, I always carry .5mg of ativan with me (sublingual type) as a precautionary measure. I've experienced a ridiculous amount of stress this past year that would bring anyone to their knees and yet have only had three panic attacks and only one that I would consider a full on 10. I took the ativan and within a matter of minutes, it subsided. I've got a pretty good handle on my GAD and panic thanks to klonopin and CBT. I have my days, but generally, it is under control. I hope the same for you once you get your meds straightened around. I don't take an AD but have in the past. Generally, they don't work for me, but everyone is different. My problem isn't depression really, it is anxiety first and foremost. I believe that makes a difference as to what medication is prescribed. Also, klonopin helps me with essential tremor which I've had for many years...too many to remember. On klonopin, I don't have the tremor. So, in my case, I get a two for one.
All the best to you and I hope you can get some relief very soon.