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Author Topic: Breaking heart  (Read 437 times)

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Offline anxiousmedic

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Breaking heart
« on: December 30, 2012, 09:47:50 PM »
Not that I am suffering from a "broken heart" but does it ever feel like your heart is actually breaking from sadness?? I get this feeling in my chest that feels like a ache that brings tears to my eyes.... for my sadness and my feelings of being alone or fear of losing my loved ones or being a failure...
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Offline laura124

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Re: Breaking heart
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2012, 11:50:14 PM »
Yes, I have felt that way.  I have never had a depression problem when I was younger but I had a very complex family life growing up--my family is a little eccentric to say the least and my parents were divorced when I was just a baby and my dad moved to Texas when I was 9 years old.  Things used to roll right off me, I seem very easy going, patient and relaxed--but I'm filled with anxiety about everything--I always keep it inside.  I have always had anxiety with physical symptoms but recently I really feel depressed.  And yes, my chest feels heavy and I cry at everything, my sleep is off, I'm worried about something bad happening constantly.  Tomorrow we're invited to a party but I'd rather stay home. I'm doing best not to fall too deep into this funk--tomorrow I'll force myself to get on the treadmill and just do my best to take care of myself.  My new year's resolution will be to try to change something positively in my life.
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Offline anxiousmedic

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Re: Breaking heart
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2012, 12:13:31 AM »
I know all to much about forcing myself to do things I don't really want to do. I just feel that if I act normal I will start to feel normal again, I am doing therapy as well, some days its ok and I have times where I see the light but others I worry and cry and feel my heart breaking in saddness. I feel the positive changes too, I want to have a better outlook on life and start to enjoy the beauty that it has to offer. :action-smiley-065:
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Offline howifeel

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Re: Breaking heart
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2012, 01:59:15 PM »
I like the transparency here. I have felt the physical feeling of my heart breaking. Felt like a failure, and felt like I was a burden to others. I have lost friends, and some relationships, as a result. Nevertheless, 2012 has been a year of recovery for me. I know that it sometimes feels worse to hear someone else getting better, but my point is that it will get better. If someone asked me what the trick was, it would be; forcing myself to keep going, as both of you shared. Those without experience with Major Depressive Disorder suggest "taking a break." That was bad counsel for me. Down time has been my enemy. Weekends (time off work) have proven the worst of times. I wonder what your life circumstances are. Whether they are poor. I have been diagnosed mentally ill for the past 30 years (yes, I am older). Been hospitalized, and taken almost all SSRI's in existence. When I started feeling better in March, I thought that maybe I was simply experiencing mania (which I never had), but something has changed and I am not so hard pressed about life at this time. I am rolling with it for now. It's not that I have been strong, but that I am too afraid to give up. I still cry, and have bad days, but they don't stretch into years. It's the worst trying to stay engaged in social events and things that used to be fun, but keep at it! You are doing more than most are doing. In the US 36,000 per year take their own life, only to discover that it damages many others in the wake of it. You are being a responsible person, and that is no failure at all. You are succeeding!
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Offline anxiousmedic

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Re: Breaking heart
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2012, 06:29:46 PM »
thankyou so much howifeel your kind words are very much welcomed at this point in my life. I like knowing that there is hope for the future.
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Offline Brittany Renae

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Re: Breaking heart
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2013, 08:17:49 PM »
I have felt this way for a very long time. Most of my short life has been full of heartbreak both literal and symbolically. The first time I went to my doctor over my depression was because I felt so unhappy for no reason. My heart felt like it was being torn apart. I felt like I had to cry because I was so unhappy. There was of feeling in my chest, like pure dread and sadness. I was crying for no apparent reason and I still don't know why all I do know is that it's a struggle but it's getting easier.
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Offline Happy sailing

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Re: Breaking heart
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2013, 07:25:39 PM »
HOWIFEEL. And Brittany Renae,
Do you both still feel like it is getting better? 
If so, how or why?
What has been your modes of therapy?
Thanks!
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Wiiliam Shakespeare :       
“Frame thy mind to mirth and merriment, which bars a thousand harms, and lengthens life”

Offline howifeel

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Re: Breaking heart
« Reply #7 on: January 28, 2013, 02:09:16 PM »
A turn for the worse for me. Came crashing down on Friday. No sleep for two days, and anxiety/depression is off the hook. Naturally, there was a major mistake that I made at work that will be addressed publicly. Though it is not entirely my fault, I would rather disregard the other person, and find a solution. Thought I was all better for a minute there. Finances are scary, but my mind in its illness is much scarier. My plan at times like this  is daily groups in the community, Ativan prn, exercise, pray...pray...pray, keep showing up to my responsibilities and act okay as well as I can. Sweat through the 2am to 6am mental torture while everyone sleeps. I choose not to believe my thoughts. I keep a thought record (I wrote my own software for it). Read a lot, and don't whine to family members about it. It's such a hopeless feeling when this happens. Mornings are hell. Mentally, I instantly consider self harm, but a well done payoff matrix helps reel that in. Very crazy right now, and scary. God help me! And, yes, I feel it in my chest.
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Offline howifeel

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Re: Breaking heart
« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2013, 02:11:39 PM »
Going to a family thing out of town for a week. Thougts and prayers would be appreciated.
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I do things to feel better, I don't wait to feel better to do things.

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