I like the transparency here. I have felt the physical feeling of my heart breaking. Felt like a failure, and felt like I was a burden to others. I have lost friends, and some relationships, as a result. Nevertheless, 2012 has been a year of recovery for me. I know that it sometimes feels worse to hear someone else getting better, but my point is that it will get better. If someone asked me what the trick was, it would be; forcing myself to keep going, as both of you shared. Those without experience with Major Depressive Disorder suggest "taking a break." That was bad counsel for me. Down time has been my enemy. Weekends (time off work) have proven the worst of times. I wonder what your life circumstances are. Whether they are poor. I have been diagnosed mentally ill for the past 30 years (yes, I am older). Been hospitalized, and taken almost all SSRI's in existence. When I started feeling better in March, I thought that maybe I was simply experiencing mania (which I never had), but something has changed and I am not so hard pressed about life at this time. I am rolling with it for now. It's not that I have been strong, but that I am too afraid to give up. I still cry, and have bad days, but they don't stretch into years. It's the worst trying to stay engaged in social events and things that used to be fun, but keep at it! You are doing more than most are doing. In the US 36,000 per year take their own life, only to discover that it damages many others in the wake of it. You are being a responsible person, and that is no failure at all. You are succeeding!