My experience with zoloft

[livelaughlove]

Hi All!
It's beneficial to me to write this, and I hope it helps or at least puts into perspective for anyone else what being on zoloft is like.

I come from a happy home, nothing drastically bad happened to me growing up. I have generalized anxiety, maybe some social anxiety, and yes, it can lead to panic attacks. As a child, I was very smart, excellent memory, very creative, and I said over 30 words before I was one. I did go through a period where I stuttered horribly. The doctor told my parents, "nothing to worry about... she is just thinking faster than what she can verbally communicate". Growing up, when I was in a comfortable situation or place deemed in my head as "comfortable".... I would be talking a mile a minute, making everyone laugh. But when I went out in public, specifically in school, I didn't talk at all. My anxiety was so bad and every day it was like living hell. It made me very tired. I felt claustrophobic I guess you could say and I just wanted out of there. But yet it made no sense because if I saw the same people in school outside of school in a place I felt comfortable, i would be socially outgoing and full of life. I just don't like being places where i feel like I can't leave. I also like to be in control of all conversations. Then as a teen i found relief by hanging out with friends, smoking pot, and drinking alcohol. Made the anxiety stop. By the time i was i guess around 23 or 24 I thought enough is enough, this anxiety is debilitating and wearing me out. So I told my doctor and he put me on zoloft.

I believe i took half a 25 mg pill for a week, then 25 for another week, then 50mg, and that is where i stayed. I remember the first 2 weeks I was on it, my hands were a little shaky and my mouth was dry. I did feel a little "speedy". I didn't have insomnia or weight gain, but within the first week the anxiety lessened and by the end of week 2 i felt great! Then after a few more weeks i had zero anxiety (before going on zoloft, i remember having at least 3 panic attacks, they would happen in the evening, and one time i went to the emergency room). THe only side effect i had on zoloft was that i was unable to cry, never really had any dreams, and decreased libido. But i was full of energy, i wanted to go out in the world and talk to everyone. (before zoloft, even something simple like standing in line at the deli to order lunch meat would give me major anxiety). Panic attacks were completely gone.

So when i found out i was pregnant at the age of 28, i weaned myself off over a one week period, not good. Really, you need to take a few months for the weaning process. But i was pregnant, and even if they say it's ok, i didn't want to chance it. Well, i was really sick. Got the brain zaps for a few days, dizziness for about a month. ALso, extreme nausea for the first 4 months and diarrhea. Partly due to pregnancy, but i think it was also withdrawal from zoloft. My anxiety came back, so i just didnt leave the house much while i was pregnant (but I was stay-at-home mom, so luckily with the help of my husband I was able to do that). Also, when i was pregnant with my son when i was 21 before going on zoloft, i wasn't sick at all during that pregnancy. Which is why i think the pregnancy of my daughter and that sickness was partly due to not being on zoloft. So, after i had my daughter, everything healthy and good, i went back on zoloft about a month after i had her. I just couldn't take the anxiety any more, and with children you need to be out in public doing things and talking to teachers and such and there is no time for anxiety.

So i stayed on zoloft 50 mg. At one point, I felt really good like i didn't need it, tried going off it for 5 days, but the withdrawal was awful so i said screw this, im staying on it.

So now i am 34. Feeling good. People describe me as friendly, funny, creative, outgoing, helpful, kind... but that is because the zoloft 50 mg helps the real me to shine through. WIthout it, I am very withdrawn, for fear of anxiety. It's like fear of fear. I have been working full-time and I deal with people all day, and I really don't think i could do this without zoloft. But then something happened 3 months ago. Something was going on with my daughter, and the doctor told me they would have to rule out that she doesn't have a tumor (flash forward... no tumor... she was totally fine.. just a fluke). I was taking 50 mg zoloft. But I was so upset about that and waiting 2 weeks for the test results was quite unbearable. I was throwing up, getting diarrhea, stomach pains, weak. Couldn't sleep. I was so upset. I felt like something snapped in my brain. I kept getting these weird hot tingly sensations that would only last a few seconds but made me feel like I had to pass out. My face didn't turn red or anything, I would just feel real hot and tingly or numb in my arms and legs. So, got her test results back, a clean bill of health, by the grace of GOD thank GOD!!!! But for 3 months after that, i would momentarilly get those weird hot flushing type feelings. SO I thought maybe the zoloft just isn't working, or maybe could the zoloft be causing it? Like a rush of serotonin or something. I didn't tell my doctor. So, I just decided to stop taking it... BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE!!!! Over a 2 week period, i cut down to 25 mg, then the last week took 25 every other day, which is a big big NO-NO!!!!

So, a week after that, I started to feel dizzy. I had severe nausea. I went to the doc. I told him I think I need to be on something but could i try a newer SSRI, and have some zanax (lowest dose possible) to help me adjust. He said you can have zanax and also 10 mg lexapro. Well, with work, i waited 2 weeks to start the lexapro, because I was waiting until when we would not be as busy in case i had side effects. So i was taking 2 zanax a day 0.25 mg for 2 weeks and no SSRI. I had no appetite. I could only eat if I took a zanax, and i was dizzy without the zanax. So, finally, at this point it was 3 weeks or so of no SSRI, i took the lexapro on a friday night. Also, stopped the xanax because i ran out. Saturday, did not feel good, had those hot flushes all day, and had a panic attack. Had racing thoughts and flu-like symptoms. Muscle spasms. Very faint. Extreme nausea. COuldn't eat. I only took the lexapro friday, saturday, and sunday night because on monday i almost passed out and had to lay down, had to call out of work. THe lexapro did not work for me at all! So the next 2 days i took nothing, no zanax, no SSRI, i just basically was on the couch suffering. Luckily, my office was closed over the holiday. But it ruined my christmas. I couldn't go to any family functions. I told my children i had the flu (but really it was a little bit of discontinuation syndrome as well as my old panicky ways were coming back). My husband was scared, he thought i was losing it. So the day after christmas, which was wednesday, I called the doctor. I was freaking out. THey called me back in zoloft 50 mg and also 30 pills low dose zanax 0.25 mg. So wednesday i had to take 2 zanax, and i only took 25 mg zoloft. Felt a little better, but still nausea, no appetite, diarrhea, but the flu-type symptoms and muscle spasm pain started going away. The doctor told me go right back in and start on 50 mg zoloft, but it had been nearly a month at this point off of it, and i was scared. BTW, over this time period, i was living off popsicles and TUMS because i couldn't eat, i had also lost a lot of weight, and i felt my hair was falling out more than usual. On thursday, i had to take 2 1/2 zanax throughout the day, and the 25 mg zoloft at night. I had to work and that was rough but i made it through. On friday, i had to work. I had to take 2 1/2 zanax throughout the day again just to make it through work. All of a sudden, around 3, i actually felt the nausea lift. I ate a piece of pizza and i almost started crying. I had gone for 3 weeks of severe nausea and no appetite and for that to go away felt like a miracle. I was still shaky but I also noticed the racing thoughts that were giving me a headache were going away, thank GOD. On friday night i thought "ok, the doctor told me go right back on 50 mg and i didn't and i might as well get this over with because if not i am just gonna be sick all over again when i titrate up to 50mg. Also, zanax has a nasty withdrawal. I need to get back to normal and not rely on zanax to get me through." so, friday night i took the 50 mg zoloft. Saturday, was  a little rough. Very dopey and tired. Nausea all day until nighttime. Irritable. I had to make a conscious effort to not snap on people. I took 2 1/2 zanax throughout the day to get me through. BUt i made it. Didn't leave the house all day though. So saturday night, took the 50 mg pill around 8:30 and went to bed.

Today is sunday. I woke up. I took only half a zanax (half of the 0.25 mg). I don't want to take the zanax, but i don't think it is wise to just not take it after being on it for a few days. So today i already took half, then this afternoon, i will take the other half. THat's my plan, is to titrate down on the xanax, so that i don't get nausea worse from going off that. Then i dont want to ever to zanax. I plan on staying on 50 mg zoloft forever. This was the worst month of my entire life. That drug is a miracle drug for me. So today, i felt nauseous (but mornings are always really bad for me) and i still had diarrhea. I forgot to mention, throughout this, ive had diarrhea in the morning. I feel a little foggy and dopey but i know that will pass once i adjust. I have to say, I am feeling more like the old "me". The anxiety is starting to go away. I know it takes time, so i figure i'll just play it safe and take things day by day. Every day is a little better.

Now, throughout all this, the causes of those hot flushed feelings were never found. I had CBC, CMP, TSH, free T4, thyroid autoantibodies, ANA, all that stuff checked out. Also had triptase checked. Everything normal. The only thing i do notice is that i have, ever since that experience with my daughter, is a very rough time in the mornings, specifically between 6 to 8 am. THat is also when cortisol is highest in the body. I get better towards the evening. Also, my blood sugar is usually around 75-80, perfect, but on the low end. I tend to run low on sugar. So, it is important to keep that from getting too low. What happens in the body when sugar gets too low, the pancreas stimulates more cortisol production (fight-or-flight response). Too much cortisol, leads to adrenal fatigue, anxiety, depression. I don't have depression, i only have anxiety. So my theory is that (after this month of nausea lifts) I need to eat every 2 hours, healthy foods, to keep that cortisol in check. I was paleo a while before all this started. I felt great being paleo. You eat fish, nuts, fruits, vegetables, and no grains. I would only eat one grain a day, maybe a potato or some rice. But generally i don't eat bread or pasta, or any additives or preservatives or nitrates. But that's another thread. BTW, the low end of normal sugar range is from before being paleo, so it's not from that. Ive had hypoglycemic tendencies since when i was a kid (used to pass out at sports events if i was cheerleading or whatever and went to long without eating).

So, my goal is to get better. Then, eat healthy diet once again. Then, get back into exercising. All this will take time. ANd i know that. I hope my story helps someone out there. SO here's to a happy new year 2013 to all :))))

[Cuchculan]

Welcome to the forum. Good to have you as a member. Here you are with like minded people. People who understand. As we all suffer from something or other. So feel free to ask any questions. Our members are always willing to help others out. Good chatroom too. 3 posts to enter the room.

Find the correct section of the forum that suits your condition and create a new topic on it. This is just a welcome section. Never really get the same amount of help in this section as you would on the other sections of the forums. So whatever one suits the questions you are asking. Get much better answers.

[TomRainKing]

I'm new to the forum and have dealt with anxiety and panic for about 8 years (much longer than that but constantly for 8 years).  I'm 30 and always thought I could right the ship myself.  I'm calling my doctor tomorrow to try and get some help.  I was actually perscribed something 8 years ago when the attacks first started, but the dr was kind of jerk and basically ignored my story of the attacks and said "here take this if they come back"....so i just didn't take it.  We have a 2 year old and my wife's doctor has been amazing with her and her anxiety post pardom.  Her doctor literally will talk to her at any time and fully listens to everything...leaves no stone unturned.  It's VERY EERIE reading other peoples, like yours, stories about their experiences with panic/anxiety.  I was encouraged reading your post and appreciate the detail you provided.  For me, i'm scared to death of doctors.  Hearing first hand stories like yours does help.  I fully believe my issues are tied to my overall health.  I was a college athlete and now am 50 lbs overweight.  The best days i've had over the last 8 years are the days where i've worked out or done cardio.  I just fell out of it every time.  I think medication (maybe we'll see what dr says) will give me the opportunity to begin meaningfully exercising again. 

[livelaughlove]

yes, everyone has a different experience with these medications, but in the end, the hardest part is just waiting for them to start working which takes several weeks. But they do work. It's just a waiting game. It is very hard these days too, because it's not like you can just sit at home and rest while waiting for them to work. No, you have to be out in the world and doing stuff. I'll tell you right now I am on day 9 of zoloft 50 mg. On the 3rd day, i started taking 50 mg at night at 8:00. Since that time, I have been waking up exactly at 4:00 every morning feeling very shaky and fast pulse, and dry mouth, which gives me anxiety, because I think "how will I function in the world today. If i freak out in front of everyone what will they think?" Well, after talking to my close co-workers, they said they don't care if I freak out, if it happens it happens and they will be there for me. So that put my mind at ease. It's important to come clean and just tell people that are close around you that you may not be yourself for a little while and at first I was scared (because i've hidden this problem all these years) that people would think less of me or ridicule me but that was the total opposite, people said that's OK and wanted to help. I can't believe it! And I haven't had any "freak-outs" to my surprise. I read that zoloft peaks 8 hours after you take it, so it makes sense that if I take it at 8 pm I will feel it highest at 4 am, and I feel it about 1 1/2 hours or so. Just real shaky, racing thoughts because of that. I worked yesterday and that actually really helped me, because it helped me realize that i can function in the world and that also kept me busy and kept my mind off things. Also forced me to just not be alone lost with my thoughts and laying on the couch. It's important, even though you don't feel like it, to stay busy and keep doing things outside of your home during the adjustment period. I have had extreme nausea throughout all this and unable to eat, other than popsicles and a few crackers here and there, in fact, i lost 15 lbs throughout the past month and a half. But remember, i went off zoloft, had withdrawal, then tried lexapro for 3 days, that didn't work, and then had to re-adjust to zoloft. Anyone going through heroine withdrawal or detox, i sympathize. I imagine this is what it must feel like. So yesterday when I woke up, I thought, I can't take this anymore. What if i damaged my brain permanently and I will never go back to normal. The nausea was so severe and being unable to eat was giving me major anxiety, because i knew at some point i would have to eat. I just couldn't go on being unable to eat. So then, around 3 pm yesterday, my stomach actually started growling and for the first time in over a month, I had the urge to eat. I ate real wholesome food! And the nausea all of a sudden lifted. I almost started crying. To be that severely nauseous for over a month was like pure living hell. So i ate a huge dinner last night, salmon, mac n cheese, and a salad. Then later on i took the pill at 8:30 (usually i take it at 8 pm). I woke up this morning at 4:30 am (again 8 hrs after i took the pill) and i was shaky and a little nauseous but not unbearable. It is now 5:45 am and i don't feel so bad. Im not really feeling anxious. I do say, days 3 through day 8 the anxiety was heightened, specifically in the early morning hours, and it was pure hell. But today i feel something has lifted, which means my brain is finally adjusting to this powerful medication. Thank God! Because I was beginning to think I can't go on like this. But I looked at my children and thought I have to get better for them, and deep down I know i will get back to the old me and that it just takes time. So today on day 9 I feel a definite change. It's going to get better from here, I can feel it. I think the first time i took zoloft I didn't have nausea. But i do remember being shaky, my hands were shaky, really dry mouth, no appetite, weight loss in the beginning, and I felt like I had to keep moving. This time was different, it was more heightened anxiety and extreme nausea. But my brain was probably like "WTH are you doing to me? on zoloft, withdrawal, lexapro-bad reaction, then re-adjusting to zoloft"... also during this time period for the past 2 weeks i had a really bad head cold and flu-type symptoms, which didn't help. Major mucous, cough, low fever on and off,swollen lymph nodes, ear pain, now the mucous is gone but I've had diarhhea yesterday morning and this morning. So it's a long adjustment period and you just have to hang in there. That's all you can do, take it day by day and minute by minute and try not to think. Like, say multiplication tables in your head if you start to think. Or, when laying in bed, think of things to describe the bed, like it is soft, fluffy, green sheets, feels so good. Or look at a word and think how many words you can make out of that word. Just anything to keep your mind busy and not drift off. Today, the racing thoughts are not there as of right now. I only get them for the first little bit of time when i first wake up in the morning now. But I know that will stop too with time. Also it helps me to understand what physically is going on with your body. Some people are just born with chemical imbalances in their brain, like me. People that tend to be hypoglycemic also have this problem, which is why most alcoholics and drug addicts have an abuse problem, they have low blood sugar. When sugar is low, the pancreas produces a lot of cortisol and epinephrine to stimulate a fight or flight type response to react and to eat. But those hormones mess up your brain. It's a real disease. These medicines work by allowing the neurons to communicate in a better way. So it's not something you can control on your own. It's real, therefore, impossible to just "snap out of". So of course you are going to have start-up symptoms for a little while. Your brain is being re-wired, so to speak, during the beginning periods. Good luck with everything!

[livelaughlove]

ok so today is day 10 of being on zoloft 50 mg which i take at night around 8 pm before i go to bed. I am getting better. Except, right now, I've had this viral cold thing for a couple weeks which is really annoying. Yesterday, I kept feeling like i was going to get diarrhea. Only had it twice but an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Still have low fever, around 99.5. Have had the fever for like 2 weeks now. But maybe it is the zoloft? Doubt it. But the nausea is almost all the way gone. Right now it is 4:30, i've been waking up every morning at 4:30 with an urge to go to the bathroom, and i usually have 2 bowel movements. The first one is normal and the second one is loose. So that could be from the zoloft, or from this viral thing i have, or a combo of both. But every morning so far i wake up at this time and i do feel anxious. I am sure that will stop soon. It lasts for about an hour. I am guessing that's because the zoloft peaks i think about 8 hours after you take it. It's really annoying though. Yesterday i had to work so i took a low dose zanax as soon as i woke up and felt better within a half hour. I just want that to stop. I don't want to have to rely on taking zanax every morning when i wake up, i just want the anxiety to stop!!! I feel i am definitely better throughout the day, so the zoloft must be working, but i just feel a little crappy throughout the day but i think that's this viral flu-type thing i have. I am not going to take a zanax and let's see what happens....