when it rains it pours at my house

[beth0277]

Just wanted to give you a virtual hug, sixpack. My uncle had a stroke many years ago and had a difficult recovery, but he is now playing golf and performing just like always.

[Allochka]

Dear Sixpack,
Just wanted to wish your mom a quickly recovery, and to you - optimism and strength! My cousin had a stroke 3 year ago, he was in coma, doctors believed that he would stay in vegetable-like state forever. And he is all right now, working, feeling great. The rehabilitation is the key. Everything will be fine!

[kazoo]

Sixpack,
My mom had a major stroke six years ago.  I agree that it is very difficult to predict how things will turn out; recovery runs the gamut.  In my mother's case the recovery has not been very good, but my husband's grandma had a stroke at age 89 and recovered very, very well, and just turned 95.

One of the difficult things about stroke is the uncertainty about what will happen.  The days right after the stroke don't tell you very much, and recovery can take a long time, and it is not always a linear process.

Anyway, it's been a long haul for my family, but we've all managed to deal with it in our own ways.  There were some odd silver linings along the road (for example, I have gotten a lot closer to my dad through this, who was always someone who existed on the periphery of the family). 

I hope your mom has a good recovery, and I'm very sorry this is happening to your family.

[sixpack]

it has been about a week and a half since my mom's stroke.

we now know that she had a massive stroke on the main artery that leads into the left side of her brain.  Apparently this is an unusual place to have a stroke.

my mother's pneumonia is VERY bad.  She's been put on a ventilator.  She is finally been given enough meds to calm her.  she has been struggling so much to breath and it has been panicking her.  the doc told my sis that being put on the vent is the only thing that will keep her lungs functioning and her alive but she may never come off of the vent.  Her right arm is very swollen.  An ultrasound was done but the results are not in just yet.  things look pretty bleak from this end.

Hubs, our eldest and I are going on down to Houston Wednesday.  Hubs has business to do and had a trip planned anyway.  he and our daughter will come home on Friday.  I'll stay on until Sunday.  Hubs sister is coming to stay with the other kids.  She lives about 1 1/2hr away.  I'm so glad she can come.

[greend]

I am sorry to hear this sixpack.  This must be awfully difficult for you. I wish you and your mom the best.

[tinam7]

So sorry to read of more distressing news. Sounds like the stroke may have affected breathing but the brain may still recover after swelling goes down. She had a left hemisphere stroke and that means right side damage.

It is good that you are not going alone, SP. It will likely be tough when you see her but remember, hearing may be OK so you can tell her reassuring, soothing words. Will be thinking of you wishing you a good safe trip.

[ClassicNerd]

Six Pack, I'm so sorry to hear this. Best of luck to you! I hope things turn out okay.

[MOchp]

I'm sorry to hear the not good news sixpack. I wish your family the best and have a safe trip down.

[sixpack]

thank you all for your kind words.

I'm presently at my sister's house---actually staying in my mom's room and using her computer.   I've been in Houston since Wednesday.  Mom looks really rough.  the poor woman has been through the mill.  Wednesday she opened her eyes and did realize I was there. She responded with eye contact, eyes filling with tears, hand squeezing and she waved at my eldest as we left that evening.  Thursday she was completely unresponsive.  Thursday brought the news that the pneumonia that occurred following the stroke is a moderately resistant bacteria.  None of the three anti-b's she was on were effective.  there are only 3 that are.  she has been put on those plus two others--I presume to prevent any other opportunistic bugs from gaining a foothold.  Friday we arrived at the hospital with the news that she is also in 'multiple organ dysfunction'.  this happens when another organ is in a bad way.  the good news is that she was responsive to us again.  The nurse she had yesterday was very good about fetching us when any of her 5 doctors were seeing her.  seems docs don't show up during visiting hours and the only way to get to them is to hang at the hospital.  yesterday afternoon, the nurse came and found my sister and me.  we got to talk to 4 of her docs.  At this time she has a "primary doc who decides which specialists she sees (which we've yet to talk to), neuro, a cardio, a respiratory doc, and an infectious disease doc. Since the pneumonia she has is pretty resistant, we will have to wear the blue gowns when entering her room.  Which is fine with me.  My mom has a LOT of edema.  it is so bad it is leaking or "weeping" out of her skin.  she has special tape and then other areas gauzed on her to either prevent the weeping or to catch it. 

We'll head back to the hospital this morning.  the first visit of the day is always the most tentative because she seems to "fall apart" at night.

[greend]

I am sending good thoughts to your mom and you.  Sorry you have to go through this sixpack.  Hopefully she is on the mend soon.

[tinam7]

Dear SP, I had a feeling it could be like this. You see, I know about how things went with my brother. The elderly are particularly vulnerable. But her mind is there, it seems, and that means a great deal.

Reassure her, love her, and give her hope. The doctors and nurses are doing the best they can.

[sixpack]

we certainly doing all of that tina.       then we also tell her all of the mundane things going on in our lives.  LOL.    My youngest made her a card.  I've read it to her twice now.  one of the nurses taped it to the arm rail of her bed.  Yesterday a pastoral care minister from a local Catholic Church came in and gave her a blessing and left her a rosary.  She gave my daughter and I Communion.  It was so lovely to have a person come in and be so kind.

we missed the morning visiting hour.  I think we are so worn out with all of this that we just needed the sleep.  We will go for the 1 pm visiting.  yesterday's nurse didn't kick us from the room when hours were over.  I see that as a good thing and a bad thing.

My hubs and eldest flew home last night.  I think my daughter is glad to be back home.  this sort of thing is quite stressful for her.  she had seizures wed and thurs at dinner time.  It appeared she was headed for the same flying home but hubs gave her a diazepam and some of her seizure meds a bit early to prevent it.  I can only imagine how that would have gone over on a plane.

we are all hanging in there. 

[tinam7]

Good that daughter is returning. Too, too stressful for anyone, esp. her.

Stay strong, hoping for the best. It will be hard to leave. Try and be prepared.

[sixpack]

we had a nice visit at 1 pm today.  Mom looked better.  She moved a bit more (not the stroke side but in general).  She communicated by closing and opening eyes to questions.  I just about got her to smile with a couple of my teasings.  Brother in law got a smirk as well.

all of her lab work and tests show no change BUT she isn't worse.   The resp doc is going to start slowly weaning her off of the ventilator.  I think he moved it from 10  to 9 and was going to move it on down to 8.

[SighNoMore]

Praying for you guys, Sixpack!!

[sixpack]

I got home from visiting my mom on Monday.  There was an issue with my originating flight being late and I would miss my connecting flight so back to sister's house for the night.

mom is in bad shape no doubt.  Tuesday the docs told us that the vent being provided via the mouth will have to be changed to a trachea kind.  They also want to do a PEG line for food and meds.  So this set off the issue of whether she would want this and is she competent to make the decision and all.  The problem is if we don't do the trach vent, she'll end up drowing in her fluids in her lungs.  We are still struggling with the issue.  ANOTHER thing is:  she isn't in a coma or brain dead.  So deciding "take her off the vent... and let nature take its course" really doesn't apply here.  I mean she is aware enough to nod her head and answer questions but may not be competent enough to decide this life/death decision.  We are, naturally, worried and upset and looking for guidance.  My sis called her primary care doc that my mom and the fam trusts.  she is going to have a looksee at my mom in the a.m.  this doc, I feel, we feel, my mom will respond to.  This doc said that she loves our fam and will definitely tell us like it is.  I know this will be a godsend for us...

I'm going back to Houston Saturday.

[ClassicNerd]

I'm so sorry to hear this.  Unfortunately, I don't have any words of wisdom to offer you. Just know that I'm thinking of you guys, and sending you lots of well wishes. I find at times like these you really find out how strong the family unit is. It sounds like you've got an excellent, supportive family, SP.

All the best!

[greend]

I am so sorry to hear about your mom's situation.  You are always so supportive of everyone on this site and I just want you to know I am thinking about you and your mom as I am sure many others are as well.  This is certainly a difficult time for you and I wish you well. 

[Katiex0]

I am honestly truly sorry and am wishing your mom a quick recovery. Your family is very strong and strong enough to get through this. Sending hugs your way hun.

[tinam7]

So sorry that your mother and all of you are suffering in this way. Endured that with my brother and daughters. I would not have agreed, but  was far away and acceded. Maybe she can help convey what her wishes are.

Wishing you safe travel. SP, you are being very brave with that travel. I was not able to do it.

[sixpack]

So sorry that your mother and all of you are suffering in this way. Endured that with my brother and daughters. I would not have agreed, but  was far away and acceded. Maybe she can help convey what her wishes are.

Wishing you safe travel. SP, you are being very brave with that travel. I was not able to do it.

I certainly hope that she can let us know.  This would make this whole thing much easier.  On the other hand my mom has a history of not making decisions.  YOu know letting things just happen.  In this case I hope she doesn't do that because I don't want to make a life/death choice here.  There are many things to consider--life quality and all of that.  BUT also the ethic and moral decisions....   


I don't have issues with traveling other than not being here with my children.

thank you katie, green and CN

[1looneychick]

Praying for peace and comfort for you and your family Sixpack.  What a tough spot to be in   I know God will help you make the right decision.

[kmwondering]

Sending hugs six pack.....seems inadequate. I wish we could do more for you; you've always been such a great support on this board. I hope you feel some of that support coming to you now.

[tinam7]

SP, you raise the issues we have experienced in our family and which I did not want to raise specifically. They are such very, very difficult issues that I feel current medicine has created. They can be terrible dilemmas.

Hoping for the best for all of you.

[marc]

Aging issues with parents are extremely difficult. My father was in a nursing home for a period of time,
was neglected and given poor care, was hospitalized twice at 93 and just passed away Thursday night.
Very gut wrenching to say the least.