To answer one of your questions . . . of course, there is hope but for those of us with anxiety we have to use the hope and make changes, thus it is a process . . . your symptoms are quite similar to those of anxiety. . . because you say you have meds, I am assuming that you have seen a doctor and received a clean bill of health re: your physical well being . . . were the meds prescribed by a family doctor with a background in anxiety? If not, you may want to check with a specialist in the field (a therapist or doctor with a background in anxiety treatment) to see if meds are the best approach for you . . . for some of us, meds are the answer either in the short- or long-run for others of us, we use different techniques in identifying and managing our triggers . . . but if you feel that you were given meds as a "default" without due consideration to other approaches, then you may want to consider a second opinion . . .
You are frustrated, scared, depressed (the other side of the coin to anxiety), and you are lost . . . .all very standard reactions and symptoms of anxiety/depression . . . in order to regain the life you want, though, you probably need professional intervention . . . if you are a full time student, you might have access to such resources through student services . . . the culinary field is an exciting field (I have a large steamer and I just put everything into it, steam the hell out of it, and that's the extent of my culinary talents) . . . so, do yourself a favour and seek professional help (perhaps your triggers may be in a lack of confidence in your skills in your field of choice, or the competition, etc. --- all of these can be managed once identified) . . . .finally, have confidence in yourself . . . at 30 you probably have skills that can be transferred to the process of healing yourself and it is a process . . .
I know that I am not offering any easy fixes --- I don't know of any . . . .I do know that the process is worthwhile and although there are bumps in it, you have the strength to engage in it and come out of it on the other side . . . .please let us know what is going on and, if nothing else, know that we are here as your support . . . .take care, kc