Oh wow guys, do I ever understand what you mean. Brittany, child at 15 and then homeless - you've really been through a whole lot at only 22.
I'm going through the "cancer spreading everywhere" fear now myself. I've had the lymphoma fear for a little while due to some lower back pain, but now every time I feel an ache anywhere else in my torso I think to myself, yep, it's in another node now....or an organ. Makes me so scared but also so damn angry at the same time! My gosh, if I'm going to get something I'm going to, and all that freaking out over every little sensation will do is, well, ruin your life.
I feel that the last couple of years have been a total wash, spent in fear, tears, depression, too much wine, etc. I like to think that I'm a strong enough person to just make it stop, but I can't. It's to the point that I'm actually not even happy when one worry goes away, because I know that without fail, another will soon follow.
Everyone agrees that Googling is a bad idea, but I really don't think that some of us, myself included, really realize just how bad it is. With our minds the way they are, symptoms can literally be created by reading about them. That means, every single time we read something about a disease we didn't know before, our clever minds file it away, to be used against us either then, or later, without us even consciously thinking about it. It's all really quite mind boggling.
I think back to why, even though I was a bit of a hypo growing up, I was never, ever this bad, and I honestly believe that's the answer - no symptoms research. I couldn't run to the computer and fill my mind with all sorts of awful possibilities. I think about some of the minor medical issues I went through (aches and pains, psoriasis, etc), and know for certain that with Google, I wouldn't have been able to get over any of them.
Sorry for the rant, this is just something I've been thinking lots about.