I'm new here, but here's a little back story. I have grown up with mild anxiety in certain situations since I was 5 years old. I was able to self soothe and kind of 'mind over matter' the whole thing for years. I'm 30 years old now, and finally was able to get myself to a doctor for treatment. I was put on Celexa the first day, and woke up with the worst panic attack of my life.
I went back to the doctor that same day and was told that the panic was 'me' and not the drug. I was sent home with a prescription for Zoloft. Okay, and then I did some research. And it seems like most people who go on SSRI drugs to help with anxiety, go through weeks if not more, of heightened anxiety because of the drug regulating in your system. I'm only on 25mg, and I'm sure my gp is going to want to up my prescription dose.
I've already lost a week of work, and just took off this coming week. I don't think I can take an SSRI anymore. I'm a workaholic and a perfectionist, and OCD. I can barely get out of bed, my house is a wreck, and I feel like this is exacerbating things.
If I stop the SSRI, since I've only been taking it 5 days, I would assume I should start feeling like my old self in a 4-5 days right? I haven't made the decision yet, I want to call my gp first and get his opinion.
Before being on the SSRI, I was treating as needed with .25mg of xanax, and a prescription of 60 pills would last me over a year. I dealt well with mild anxiety, especially at work. I am in a social atmosphere, and being busy and around people keeps my mind busy.
A little bit about my anxiety... I don't have 'worries' I have a bit of stress, everyone does. I don't feel like I ruminate. and when my panic comes on, it's usually nothing that triggers it, it just happens. Sometimes are worse than others, but it really never effected my day to day life (career, errands etc) It comes on more when I'm home on the weekends and have finished up any cleaning errands etc that I had planned. It's that lack of things to do that can make me anxious.
As far as lifestyle, I live below my means, I have a secure job (for the time being anyway since I've had to take so much time off in the past week) I make decent money, I just bought my dream car, I have an amazing boyfriend, I successfully pulled off cooking 2 thanksgiving dinners within 5 days of each other, my house was decorated for Christmas the day after black friday, and my christmas shopping has been done since right before I started on the meds. I even had most of it wrapped and under the tree. OCD much? Yes and diagnosed, but productive.
If I go off the zoloft, and just treat as needed with xanax or klonopin, I feel like I could get back into the normal swing of life.
I think on weekends I could pick up painting again when I'm out of things to do. I never woke up with panic before taking the SSRI, and now I'm almost afraid to go to sleep because of what I could wake up to. I never had sleeping problems at all, with the exception of a cat who's stomach is a bottomless pit, and will let me know when he's ready to be fed. I know if I wait it out the zoloft is supposed to work, but I don't know if I can get through that without loosing my client base at work. Any thoughts, advice etc would be appreciated. I really want my old self back, even if my old self isn't perfect.