Being an individual with MDD diagnosis, my illness crops up from time to time the thought that i am a burden to others. This is my number one motivator for self harm resulting in death. It comes to the forefront at times, and, after a good six months, it is again pressing for attention. Being that I am a people pleaser by nature, and insist on others being okay, co dependencey is also a struggle. This encourages my anxiety, which leads to depression. Just checking in. My mind says, "Oh no! Here we go again! You'll never get through it this time. It should have never come back! Weren't you 'all better'?" Then it does the "That's it! Now you are going to lose everything! You are a burden to everyone, and no one can help." I considered stopping my AD because it seemed that things "resolved" over the past 6 months, but I think my AD is keeping me from a much worse episode, and back to the hospital. Just like a little over one year ago, this site has been a great help when I was in this place. Thank you to all of you.