Well, after my last job which lasted about 5 weeks, I was diagnosed with depression. I lost 2 jobs because of it. The first one, I was crying after 3 days. This last one, I was being mentally manipulated and I lost it. I left crying and did not go back. I just could not. People around me do not understand why I did this. But I am such a mess emotionnally and mentally, I could not deal with it. In normal times, I probably would have been able to handle this but not this time. Oh, and I also had another job where I fell the first day there and open my hand. Needed 6 stitches. The boss fired me 3 days after.
So, now, I am out of a job and can not work and I will get help from welfare because my psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression GAD, panic attacs and agoraphobia. Nice mix! But, I wont get any money until beginning of January. So, I am stressed over money now and wonder how I will eat for the next few weeks. Insane. Reason I do not get support from welfare right away is because of the money I made in November with the job. But, it is now that I am sick and can not work and need the money but that is how it works. If you have money the month before than you can not have money the next month. I'm in Canada btw. In Montreal, Quebec. The system do not look at the reality.
Yesterday, I was feeling better. Today I am a mess. Tired. Never know how I will feel. Ups and downs. Wonder if I'm not bipolar right now. How come I felt so good yesterday and crap today? Never happened to me before in that way.
Well, needed to vent. If anyone understand what is happening to me, your input would be really appreciated.
Than god for this forum because no one around me understand me. Or they do but believe I just need to force myself to do things to feel better. Like go out, meet people or they dont quite believe me because I always put a strong front until it is too much than I lose it.