Holidays and Anxiety

[Deemet99]

now that the holidays are here...

i am wondering how to keep it all together in the face of my anxiety and lack of support at home and medication.
i am a wife and mom of a four year old. i REALLY want to enjoy the holidays and make it positive and memorable for my son. i am just scared of everthing that has to be done and if i can do it.

anyone have any suggestions of how you are going to go about getting though the holidays and doing all the activities that go along with them?  it is such a great time of year but also very stressful.  i have to decorate, cook, shop, do activities with my son, send christmas cards, have people over, ugghhh too much to think about as i am having a really bad night. 

to make matters worse, i have been off meds for a few months due to no insurance so i go to the doc next week and have to start something new.  should i wait till the holidays are over or would it be best to just go where i left off and start back on my meds now?  i know a lot of questions, but this has been on my mind and i need to decide asap.  i figured most of you would have some advice as to what to do? or just give me some good thoughts....

thanks everyone...
danielle

[red]

Dear danielle,

Im so sorry your feeling so stressed about the Holidays.  we always tend to look back on any experiences that have caused us extra stress and try and avoid them, but none of us can avoid christmas and thanksgiving. The thing NOT to do is asume its going to be hell, because already you have decided that your not going to be able to cope, and this will just cause massive anxiety.


Its so very hard when you have a family that doesn't understand, especially during the Holls. Set a schedule as to what needs to be done and break it up so your not doing everything at once. Be EXCITED!, turn all that anxiety in your belly to excitement!! Tell yourself you will be fine and dont panic about what MIGHT happen. If you convince yourself its going to be bedlem then you will just be waiting anxiously for it to all go wrong.

Just do as much as you can.   Your doing so so well being off your meds and you should be very proud. As for going back on them, ask your doctor that one, he will tell you if you should take now or after the holls.

I know its so easy for us all to say dont worry, as i feel the same as you, but we can only try to aproach these situations differently to reduce the anxiety.  Our thoughts and our mind CAN control how much anxiety is created, and if we approach the hollidays with sheer dred, then our anxiety is going through the roof!!!

Im sorry i dont have any solutions on how to deal with it, but i hope with all my heart your ok

Were all here if you need a hug 

Red (Emma)

[MISSREZNOR2U]

Atleast ask for some Xanax or Klonopin to ease your stresses through the Holidays if you want to wait to start a full time med till after all the hype is over. Like I have been saying, Lexapro isnt that hard to get on, but then again it may not be for you. But its worth a shot. But def, get some Xanax or Klonopin at the least. I would hate for you to constantly be thinking that I should have gotten "______" to help and it ruin your holidays. Besides, its the time of sharing too, people need to help out with the cooking and shopping and your son. It will all come together. Don't add more stress by thinking it will be a disaster. It's going to be a great Holiday Season!

  MIndy

[Deemet99]

thank you both mindy and emma,

you are right.  waking up this morning i decided i am going to enjoy this holiday.  i am going to do what i can and try to do all kinds of little things that my four year old will enjoy too.

and yes i will ask the doctor about my meds, just so i feel more comfortable.

thanks again,
im feeling in much better spirits....
danielle

[apple]

Try to prepare early for next year.  I know its not immediate help for this year but I really understand anxiety during Christmas!!  Augh!!

I started buying presents in January for this year.  All my shopping is done.  As for baking and cooking...You can start making cookies in november and freeze them.  At least thats what I did.  Cooking well...when you get no help try putting on some of your favorite ultide songs that your son likes and get into it with him.  4 year olds like to help mom.  Get him to get the stuff out of the fridge for you.  Sing while you do it.  Put an apron on him and an oven mitt and have him help you stir.  or maybe set out playdough on the kitchen table so he can play while you cook.

I would not wait for the meds.  This stressful time is when you need the extra help.  Klonopin or Xanax are definately handy little helpers when your maxed out and in heigh demand.

Hope your Christmas gets a little less scary and a lot more enjoyable.   

[katiemay86]

Danielle,
It seems like you have gotten some great advice!
Anxiety seems to be heightened for many of us during the holidays. I know it is for me. I have decided to relax and try to enjoy the holidays and try and start the New Year leaving the CRAP behind me!!
I am about to start a couple new medications AND yoga classes. Maybe it will help me! I am praying for all of you!!
Happy Thanksgiving!

Hugs,
Katie

[Deemet99]

thank you apple,
i am definately going to try and get my little man involved in cooking and doing things around the house for christmas.  that im sure would help get my mind off things and singing while doing it is a great idea. we both love music, especially at this time of year. 
and starting january i will become proactive and do little things to prepare myself in advance for next years holidays.  that is a great way to reduce the stress if i don't have a million things to do. 
katie,
i too am going to start the new year with all the crap behind me as well.  i am just dwelling on it so much these days.  somethings gotta give and i just feel really getting myself in tune both physically and mentally will do wonders for me.  we will make beating this our new years resolution. lol.  any other takers?
peace and joyful holidays....
danielle

[katiemay86]

Yeah, every time I think things are looking up, I feel like crap all over again! I was just watching Mystery Diagnosis for like a SECOND and the lady was naming all the symptoms I HAVE (exhaustion, night sweats, unsteadiness etc etc) so I turned it really fast before I heard what rare and deadly disease she has, although now I am antsy to know what it was that I might have.
I haven't started my Effexor yet because I am scared of the side effects... Grr!

[Deemet99]

thats so funny, i love that show and i watch it only because the outcomes are usually positive.  but it is scary.

what mg of effexor are you going to take?  i started with 75mg and it was hard for about two weeks.  the only symptoms i can remember were nausea and dizziness, and it would come and go.  i think we talked about this before.  just start when you feel comfortable.  i would either do it now, or wait till the new year.  (up to you of course.)

dont worry, we'll be here to get you through it all.
take care,
danielle

[NightOwl]

I actually enjoyed Thanksgiving and am having a nice holiday season so far.  Pretty cool since normally I and everyone around me seems to be depressed.

Not sure what to suggest.  It's really still about the same things as any anxiety, somehow get your mind off of what is bothering you.  But of course that is the hard paart.  I am guessing just thinking about making your son happy will make it happen naturally hopefully.

[jennBunny5]

i have a solution for you...well sorta. As far as the stress related times that come along with the Holiday "cheer" my advice is that you do not pile up doing too much. maybe your husband could help fill out christmas cards. You two can do it together while you have a conversation about your plans for christmas. if people are coming over, maybe you can split the cooking responsibilities. Have someone bring a salad, another the pies, drinks, etc. It really gets all the pressure off getting things done on time. And if your not big on traditional turkey dinners on Christmas (which is what my family does)  try something different. This Thanksgiving I had 6 friends over. I thought of doing this over the top dinner with the works, since it was my 1st holiday with my parents out of town, and all i did was make fetucchini alfredo, and buy a bottle of wine. One friend brought a pie, the other made a salad, and another made a cake while her boyfriend brought drinks. And all i had to do was reheat the dish in the oven. Simple.

As for your son. The answer to that is shaving cream. Honestly!  Put shaving cream on a table and let your little one play with it and make pictures in it. show him how he can write his name. Clean up is easy, and it's very entertaining, for both him, and you. Trust me, as a 21 year old i still play with it with the younger children in my family.  and i love it. plus its easy to watch him while your doing something in the kitchen or filling out those cards.  Well i hope this was somehow useful. And that you have a great holiday!!

[Deemet99]

thanks jenn

that is awesome advice.  i really liked the idea of filling out the christmas cards with my hubby and talking about the holiday plans, and yes sharing the cooking too.   

never tried the shaving cream but think i will do it today, he can pretend it is snow....

thanks again,
danielle

ps sounds like your first holiday went very well and love the pasta idea for dinner.

[sarahleigh]

its is certainly such a stressful time, my worry is i hope i dont freak out if i go and visit people and i have a family meal out at a restaurant next sat which im a bit worried about. i know i will make it worse if i build it up to something it isnt but its easier said than done,
i hope you have a lovely time with your son