A little support with liver problem

[ImObsessed]

I have those spider nevi and one on the back of my hand. I was told by a doctor a few years ago that they dont even look for those things (including pale finger nails which I have). They use those signs to reinforce a suspicions of liver disease in positive lab findings. In other words, if your blood tests were out of whack, and your ultrasound shows some suspicion, then they would go looking at you for the spider nevi etc. Its like a puzzle. But the first pieces have to be in place (blood tests and ultrasound).

Regarding the yellow eyes, I do believe a tinge of red can look a little yellow especially under flourecent lights! If I lift my lower eye lid on my right eye it does look slightly yellow in the corners, when Im tired or in certain mirrors in bathrooms.

My father had cancer that spread to his liver, and I remember he turned yellow. There was no mistaken it. His skin and eyes were banana colored. It was very obvious.

And even with all this knowledge, I still worry about some impending liver disease.
So go figure :)

[NeverAgain1]

NeverAgain1 - that is exactly what my doctor told me was causing my upper right quadrant pain (also, my left rib sticks out more than my right rib). Some massage and physio made the pain go away completely. It's also straightening out my ribs. I've also been told to do some yoga to keep my muscles from getting tense.

Classic, you had a good doctor. No doctor, even one experienced in mindbody symptoms told me that tense, palsied muscles will refer pain to other parts of the body, even though I understood that the cause of my pain was chronic anxiety finally producing physical symptoms.  I had an MRI and was found to have a herniated thoracic disc, which doctors told me was, essentially, a lifelong sentence to chronic pain.  I wanted to be dead instead. No doctor told me, either, that "slipped discs" are a normal part of aging, and almost always asymptomatic.

Fortunately, Pan, on here pointed me to Dr. Sarno, which led to the mindbody conception.  But even after that, no doctor told me that tensed and palsied muscles refer pain to this point or that, so the fear lingered.  Careful study of anatomy made me deduce the cause and effect of what these muscles did, and eliminated the fear.  No doctor even laid hands on me to determine what muscles were tight and palsied.  Fortunately, a good physical therapist told me what muscles were tight and what they can do to a body.

Reason for the rant is because the  shoulder and pectoral muscles refer pain to the abdomen and liver area and elsewhere  So, again, OP, examine your muscles without emotion and fear, and you will have your answer and, most likely, your "cure".

[Tomtom27]

Im sorry all for my up and down mood. Feel good one minute and bad for the rest of the day.

I slumped again into my dark hole again now, I felt this worried for months now and I can't put up with it, each day I wake is just another day in hell.

I pareciate the support guys.

I have a brand new spider navi on my left hand near my thumb, it defiantly wasn't there two days ago and I can be 100% sure on that.

I constantly hurt.

[ClassicNerd]

NeverAgain1 - that is exactly what my doctor told me was causing my upper right quadrant pain (also, my left rib sticks out more than my right rib). Some massage and physio made the pain go away completely. It's also straightening out my ribs. I've also been told to do some yoga to keep my muscles from getting tense.

Classic, you had a good doctor. No doctor, even one experienced in mindbody symptoms told me that tense, palsied muscles will refer pain to other parts of the body, even though I understood that the cause of my pain was chronic anxiety finally producing physical symptoms.  I had an MRI and was found to have a herniated thoracic disc, which doctors told me was, essentially, a lifelong sentence to chronic pain.  I wanted to be dead instead. No doctor told me, either, that "slipped discs" are a normal part of aging, and almost always asymptomatic.

Fortunately, Pan, on here pointed me to Dr. Sarno, which led to the mindbody conception.  But even after that, no doctor told me that tensed and palsied muscles refer pain to this point or that, so the fear lingered.  Careful study of anatomy made me deduce the cause and effect of what these muscles did, and eliminated the fear.  No doctor even laid hands on me to determine what muscles were tight and palsied.  Fortunately, a good physical therapist told me what muscles were tight and what they can do to a body.

Reason for the rant is because the  shoulder and pectoral muscles refer pain to the abdomen and liver area and elsewhere  So, again, OP, examine your muscles without emotion and fear, and you will have your answer and, most likely, your "cure".

I got lucky with my doctor! I'm sorry you were given the run around. I also had issues where I could hear my neck grinding when I turned my head (scary!) and my doctor and a student felt around my neck, did a few weird little tests where they tapped on certain areas and asked me to do stuff with my arms and neck in certian positions, and concluded that the muscles in my back and neck were extremely tense and might be throwing things slightly out of alignment, probably due to my years of computer use. They also explained to me that things like osteoarthritis and degenerative disc disease/herniated discs are all a normal part of aging. I was terrified that I had these issues when I visited my GP, but he told me it's a waste of time to worry since everyone experiences these conditions to some degree or another later in life.

TomTom27 - I feel ya on the ups and downs. I hate 'em! I wish this anxiety would just go away, but don't give up hope. Remember, even though you're experiencing a down now, an up is right around the corner. For me things like going back to work after the weekend trigger downs. Is there anything that might be triggering your HA? You can always come back here for support, that's what this site is here for!

As for the spider nevi, I also found a new one on my hand last year and I flipped out. It apparently means nothing. I'm betting your constant hurting has to do with anxiety. Try and see if your doctor can get you in to a massage therapist or a physiotherapist. 

[Tomtom27]

first of all i would like to thank every one who posted in this thread, specially classicnerd and imobessed

i really think i should face facts now and admit im hep C positive.

the reason for my sudden anxiety issue was because sadly with out me having a clue i had an outbreak of hpv (im sorry to be so rank) i totally knocked me off my feet. i remember i kept it to myself for two weeks and googled all night and day and read some scary stuff, one thing i read is that with hpv is that it can pass over stuff on aswell so you get multiple things at once.

i remember back in 2007 during the chronic heavy cocaine use and unprotected sex, i didnt care at the time but the next day reality hits. anyway three months after my high risk exposure i was tested for every thing, all blood work hiv hep b c etc all clear. was tested again a few months after that all clear. i then was vaccinated against hep b

shortly after this i was also drinking heavily and sometimes in the morning when i would wake up i would have this crampy feeling mainly in my righ side and it would be difficult to breath, after a few minutes when i get out of bed it eventully goes. i shrugged it off but did get worried and went to doctors, he said its nothing. i still get it to this day, not every morning, its difficult to pin point when it happens it random.

anyway then (im sorry for this) light stools, not white or green just light brown orangy colour. again i didnt think anything of this.

2009. i remember when i went to turkey for a holiday i got a lovley tan, when the tan started to faid i was so itchy all over but only when i got out the shower or bath, i tried just wahing with water but didnt help. tan fades it seems ok.

2010, start feeling very tired all the time, find it dificult staying awake and end up sleeping or napping during the day. 

2011 persisant tirdness, my anxiety was low at this point and wasnt concerned but all i remember saying to everyone was i feel so tired!

End of 2011 i get my first spider navi on nose, thought it was harmless, started to get black bags under eyes.

Suddenly i have multiple spider navi under my eyes and forhead arms chest everywere.

to this present day i now have constant discomfort in my liver area.

Since june my life has never been the same and it never will be now. i was tested only for hiv sphylis after the warts and thought it was so stressfull it was finaly over and i can move on. 

i kept thinking in my head about hep cos i wasnt tested for it. up till now. for 6 months worried about it sick, i finaly got tested i couldn't bare the agony of waiting any longer.

negative hep C antibodys.

now twice i had that test but sadly from what i have read last night its S&it, its inepensive and done on mass scale so people like me go undiagnosed.

i thought many times back in june ending all this agony but i know that i have a family that loves me

im just sorry that i let everyone down. 

[Tomtom27]

I'm on night shift at work. I slept for about 4 hrs today and got up early feeling so low.
Again I'm constantly searching for awnsers and feel like crap I went to another std clinic to ask questions about my tests, I feel let down.

It took so so so much courage to get tested the first time and that for me was going to be the end of the tourment but im it might as well be June again because now I'm such in a state I have no choice but to pay out for the test, I sure hope the doctor is right!.

[ClassicNerd]

I'm so sorry you're back in this state again. Even with testing, it seems the anxiety doesn't go away. That is the problem with health anxiety. Despite repeated reassurance, we're still convinced we have diseases. It sounds like you have a lot of guilt and regret over the type of lifestyle you used to follow, and I just wanted to say that you shouldn't. We all make mistakes, we learn from them, and we move on.

The exhaustion can be from anxiety. I know when I'm anxious I feel really run down and awful. All of this anxiety surely takes a toll on your health and apperance. Look at today, for instance. You only slept 4 hours! Of course you're going to be tired! Sprinkle in a day or two here or there of 4 hours or less of sleep, and no wonder you're tired all the time! If I only get 4 or less hours of sleep one night, it takes almost a week for me to recover. Also, night shift is a killer!

HPV is very common (both the kind that causes warts, and the kind that doesn't). Virtually all sexually active adults have some strand of HPV. Some of my close friends have HPV, and they don't have hep c or any other STD/STI.

While reading your post, I was reminded of my own thought process when I'm struck by a medical condition or unexplained symptoms. I try and tie them all together and pin them on whatever condition I'm fearing most. The truth is, not all symptoms can be tied together neatly or explained. We tend to want explanations for everything, but that's not realistic. Bodies make noise!

Think, if you had hep c for that long, you'd have abnormal LFTs or an abnormal ultra sound. You've had two of thost tests and they've both come up negative. People on the internet who say that test isn't worth crap don't know what they're talking about. They're just trying to be sh*t disturbers. You had two of those tests done, and if they were so inaccurate (regardless of how cheap they are) doctors wouldn't use them to diagnose hep c!

[Tomtom27]

Hey nerd

Guilt does play a massive part in it, it's the risks I took that I can't beleive I would ever of put myself in any sistuation like that. I think to myself maybe I deserved it. Yes reassurance needs to be constant with me hence why I spend most my time from clinic to clinic get assured by these places that I'm ok and I feel good for 5 minutes. I sat with a nurse yesterday and spoke about it all and for that moment sitting there I actually felt anxiety flooding out and for one minute I actually thought my pains were not there because I was speaking about it face to face instead of bottling it up inside.

Yeah I'm cool with the idea of hpv really it doesn't bother me at all most people have it and my imune system cleared it up with no treatment. I think hep is a small possibility but I would of thought clymidia would of been more of a realistic thing to catch and I hadn't ever got that.

Despite my risks I took correct route in being tested afterwards and not just once either, I got about 4 hep c tests under my belt maybe 5 since 2006 and my imune response I would of thought would of been good so I'm sure it would of detected it early.

I read that the tests are that sensitive that false positives are common, I don't find much info on false negatives only a little but thats people with HIV and on chemo treatment etc when the imune system is suppressed


Hep c takes years to damage live like 20 to 30 and I have had 5 years so I can't see how it can do that much damage in that time and have spider navi by then.

I life style of mine and shift work can surely make you age faster.

[Tomtom27]

I also agree with what you say about pinning it on an illness,

If I didn't have hpv break out hep c probably would of crossed my mind but it's what I made out in my head. And because I have been cleared of all things sexually I'm holding onto that tiny percentage of people that might just get a false negative, unless I had numerous false negatives.


If it wasn't for the warts maybe I would be here now, maybe the pain wouldn't be here.

[Tomtom27]

What makes it worse it that those last set of blood tests specially the hep ones were meant to be final, that was it, now I will need another test for hep c and put myself through the stress knowing that it will more likely be postive,it's going to be a really sh/t christmas

[Tomtom27]

Again lost and confused I been to helath clinic today, not sure why I know the awnser to what I have.

I feel so low I read about rashes from hep c, my mum had a rash and girlfriend recently wtf they got it off me. This realt isn't real anymore

[Tomtom27]

I use to get terrible heartburn. One day at work I had really bad heart burn and didn't have any tablets for it. For two days I had a constant burning pain in my stomach, thats when I had this sensation in my upper right side, its
Maybe a Duodenal ulcer because thats we're the pain is but also radiates all over. The doctor said at first it could be due to acid reflux.

It seems so random that since my obsession of hep c it seems everyone around me is falling il

[floridaguy65]

Hi T, I believe I chimed in here on this thread once before. Sorry you're struggling. I struggled, too, very mightily and have my own issues to this day, to my own extents. I have been moving quite well down a healing path for many years now, though. I am still an 'anxiety peep' (and always will be), as these type mental health challenges tend to not be cured. But, this can be more than OK, as we truly can learn how to live in better accord, alongside, our anxiety issues. Who really cares about the word "cured", anyway? To me, it is mainly about our quality of living and the amount of (and severity of) the lifeflow interruptions that are laid upon us by our mental health struggles. Most of us have been to the 'darker areas' of anxiety and have dealt with some negative things that it can bring in our lives, at times. So, we know what this can be all about and how hard it can be to see our future, when we are currently struggling, with anything but more continued battles and continuous fear....pretty much at the same level, if not worse. We see our future through the prism of our current struggles, so what we see is, often, not a pretty picture. Who WANTS to live in the future with hyper anxiety? Nobody, of course. And, the simple response is that we do not HAVE TO live with hyper anxiety...dominant anxiety...and mountainous lifeflow interruptions. It is quite simple to say, but I do know how painstaking it can be to reach this place in our healing path. One of the main tenets that many HA / Anxiety peeps have a very difficult time in embracing is that our actions and habits matter....they SOOOOOOO matter. Our actions and habits, that are counterproductive to seeking out some lasting peace from anxiety, must be curtailed in order for us to have ANY chance at some LASTING solace. I will give you two of the most detrimental actions (habits) that HA peeps struggle with:

1. Internet searching and hunting (googling) in which we attempt at self-diagnosing and debunking med testing and finding the exceptions to the norm (the odd cases of xyz happening to someone).

2. Continuing to seek out medical intervention after we have been given an, overall, "all clear" - healthwise. Now HA peeps can have health issues just like the general population, also. So, I understand the need to go to the Doc, perhaps. But, the threshold for going to the Doc MUST be set very high for HA peeps, else we can justify going for a myriad of reason, and many times it would be an unecessary trip - ultimately.

There needs to be ZERO googling. There needs to be so little (to no) Doc visits (after we have an "all clear"), other than our standard checkups. Are most HA peeps able to accomplish not doing these things? Well, when struggling, it is a very difficult proposition, to say the least. We feel we are "protecting" ourselves, someway - somehow, by embracing these actions, and we feel that we will, ultimately, find that definitive reassurance that we are going to be OK in our health (in our life, actually). It has been proven time and time and time again that what we are 'chasing', simply, doesn't exist. There really isn't anything that novel (that groundbreaking) about anyone's HA experience that I have come across in 27 years of being an anxiety person, myself, and being involved in support groups and online forums, here and there. I haven't see it all, I'm sure, but I have seen A LOT. And, what I see is an overwhelming amount of HA peeps going through pretty much the same doubt and denial and uncertainty and lack of believing that they can be the major definer of their, overall, well-being, once again. But, with HA (and anxiety issues), eventhough we know other people struggle, we sure can feel that our case is 'different' and that what has been known to work (or at least offer up a good possibility of helping some) just might not work for us (each of us). More doubt. HA is serious 'doubting disorder'.

You said you are on a med? How is this working, currently....your assessment of how it was before vs, after? You said that you are about to begin counseling, correct? Wonderful...when might that begin? What type of research have you done in how you might learn how to help yourself, as well? I assure you that meds ALONE, rarely get people where they want to be in their longterm healing path. Are they a tool, part of the plan? Sure they can be...and they have helped many. But, to me, it is our embracing of the actions and habits and mindests that can help us "rewire" our minds away from fear and obsession that hold the greatest potential for some LASTING peace. Meds might help us peg down our anxiety enough so that we can being to try to embrace these actions, with more clarity and focus, and hopefulness that they might, eventually, begin to work for us. Again, they are a tool. There are many tools.

What are NOT tools? Googling and seeking med testing where it is not warranted. And, I know how we feel it is ALL warranted. It is not, though.

Peace and Feel Well:)

P.S - Your liver seems to be fine. You haven't damaged yourself beyond repair....far from it. The human body is AMAZING in its capacity to heal itself from what we might do to it. The key is to be kind to your bod with exercise (various kinds) and a healthy moderate diet and then let it do what it is SUPPOSED TO DO...which is live and be active and vibrant and desirous. Your bod will not be the 'issue' for years to come, if you take care of it. It will be your mind:) And, your mind can heal, as well....and you CAN live well alongside your mental health challenges:)

[ClassicNerd]

Everything Floridaguy says is spot on. You've had multiple hep c tests that have all come back negative, so you don't need to go for anymore tests! It's so hard not to get addicted to medical tests. The high they give you when they come back all clear is incredible! Have a fun Christmas. Forget about hep c (as impossile as it may seem) and FORGIVE yourself for your past indiscretions. We all put ourselves in dangerous situations from time to time. I've done it! It's all part of learning and growing.

So you did a few irresponsible things - who hasn't?! (Join the club! haha!) The important part is, you recognized your destructive behaviour and you turned it around. It takes a really strong person to be able to do that. You did all of the right things by going to get tested, and now you're a better person for it. Let this experience make you stronger and put all of your guilt (which is a wasted emotion anyway) behind you.  Use this experience to become a stronger, better person rather than someone who is crippled with guilt and anxiety. I struggle with the same things you do constantly.

Things like rashes are common, and occur outside of hep c. Rashes could be from allergies, or any number of benign conditions. You're trying to pick out all of these signs/symptoms and attribute them to hep c. It seems really logical to you in your panicked state, but I can tell you it doesn't make one bit of sense! If you had hep c bad enough to cause symptoms, something would have shown up on your tests. At 5 years it's highly unlikely you'd start to manifest any signs/symptoms. If your tests are negative you are fine! Just keep telling yourself that. The tests are so sensitive, false positives are more common!

You are going to be fine!  Please don't let this ruin your holiday season.

[Tomtom27]

I have had stuffy nose and tab stools for about two years.

One guy on one website said he had that and then tested hep c positive. I feel like dying

[sixpack]

I have had stuffy nose and tab stools for about two years.

One guy on one website said he had that and then tested hep c positive. I feel like dying

why are you frequenting other health forums?  Do you realize that it feeds your anxiety disorder?  While this may sound harsh, so respectfully, do you not give a rat's behind that the actions (ie googling stuff) you are taking is only going to make your anxiety worse or is that what you want on some level? 

Please, PLEASE reread, 10X if need be, Floridaguy's post to you?  He spent a good bit of time posting to you and has A LOT of knowledge about anxiety issues, and your response was I have had stuffy nose and tab stools for about two years.

One guy on one website said he had that and then tested hep c positive. I feel like dying


I completely GET that our anxious over thinking can make us see only things we want to see and hear.  BUT to be honest Tomtom, it appears you chose to  just toss FLguy's knowledgable words aside as rubbish.

[Tomtom27]

I would love to reply to Florida guys message and I really appreciate it but I'm on my phone typing this and it's hard work.

I understand what your saying and I'm sorry. But there's having thoughts of being il and actually having physical symptoms that appeard long before my anxiety wich I ignored.

I am really sorry guys.

[Tomtom27]

I really do appreciate everyone's posts I really do. It doesn't help that I constantly hurt in my liver area. All I can see right now is (a false negative) and going home to my parents and telling them I'm such a let down and you might have it too.

It's just very difficult to think of anything when your on pain.

[sixpack]

I would love to reply to Florida guys message and I really appreciate it but I'm on my phone typing this and it's hard work.

I understand what your saying and I'm sorry. But there's having thoughts of being il and actually having physical symptoms that appeard long before my anxiety wich I ignored.

I am really sorry guys.

TOUGH LOVE STATEMENT

the "symptoms" only became sinister when your anxiety started running amok.  this is a common thing that we anxious do when we are pleading our "case" that we have disease x,y or z. WE look back and collect any "evidence" that our twisted thinking can fit into our current disease fear.  How do I know this?  I've done it, FLguy did it. As have countless other members at AZ.  We, also, discard all objective evidence of clear med tests and rational arguments from other aside.   We run all kinds of ridiculous scenarios and expect others to either say, "yes you have a right to be worried"  or  we expect to have someone tell us some MAGIC word/s that finally get through the wall of irrationality that we've put up.  Truth is we do nothing but listen to the lies that we, in our own minds, tell ourselves.   How long are you going to do this to yourself?  How many  Hep C tests are you going to have to take before your "false negative" argument becomes moot?   When are you going to get fed up enough with your rampant over thinking (with a healthy dose of guilt), before you, wholeheartedly, start doing the HARD work of addressing your anxiety disorder?  Maybe the more important question is this:  WHAT if your 10th hep c test comes back +?  What will your anxiety over it have accomplished?  Did it protect you at all?

[sixpack]

I really do appreciate everyone's posts I really do. It doesn't help that I constantly hurt in my liver area. All I can see right now is (a false negative) and going home to my parents and telling them I'm such a let down and you might have it too.

It's just very difficult to think of anything when your on pain.

are you not aware that your brain controls your body?  are you not aware that when a brain is not working properly because of a mental illness like anxiety disorder, that it send out all kinds of incorrect signals?  Those incorrect signals are sent via nerves to the  body.  The body over reacts and says you are in pain.  Are you not aware than when the brain and body continue this cycle continually that there can be chronic pain?

[Tomtom27]

I no there is a link between emotional and physical pain.

I don't just have the weight of myself on board this and sadly it's the two people who I love most who will suffer now, imagine having that on you concience.

I have googled a lot and false negatives are common looking in forums I shouldn't of been looking in.

Take away the pain
Light stools
Stuff nose
Spider navi and I might Bellive the negative result.

[sixpack]

I no there is a link between emotional and physical pain.

I don't just have the weight of myself on board this and sadly it's the two people who I love most who will suffer now, imagine having that on you concience.

I have googled a lot and false negatives are common looking in forums I shouldn't of been looking in.

Take away the pain
Light stools
Stuff nose
Spider navi and I might Bellive the negative result.

Unlikely.  People with anxiety disorders always find ways to rationalize the illogical thoughts into something plausible.


It is my hope that you opt to take proactive steps to adress your anxious over thinking.   None of us, of course, have any say in whether or not you will do that for yourself.  It is your choice on how you want your life to be going forward.   Good luck and be well.   

[floridaguy65]

  People with anxiety disorders always find ways to rationalize the illogical thoughts into something plausible.

Hi T, I got your PM and replied:)

Per what Six said above, don't get too freaked out having the range of intrusive thoughts and faulty rationalizations that are going on right now with you. It's common. It helps if we can catch ourselves, though, before we allow these thinking patterns to steer us into a lot of counterproductive actions and habits. But, too often, anxiety peeps have to 'live it' before they really begin to believe that what they are doing is actually incredibly detrimental to seeking out any lasting peace. Once again, ANOTHER doubt thrown at us by our anxiety issues. One of the underlying reasons I help out here (along with many others) is that it would be my desire that I can help a few peeps shorten the time that they live in denial and live in full doubt and, ultimately, abreviate the time they spend being DOMINATED by anxiety. I can't 'cure' anyone...I can't make people listen to me. All I can do is offer up experiential advice and real life possibilities for, hopefully, getting on a healing path from the bad crap that anxiety can lay upon us. Our actions and habits matter....there will be no getting that much better until we embrace this tenet. So, the next time you sit down to 'solve your problems' or get some 'peace of mind' through googling 'symptoms of liver damage' or looking up the success rate of Hep C testing or getting on a 'Living with Hep C' forum (or whatever you're searching) KNOW that what you are doing is just about a guarantee that you will be keeping yourself locked up in a fear cycle - not headed towards any type of intrinsic solace. Now decide what you want to do? Do you want to believe me (and others) and the lifetime of history and experience and interactions with HA / anxiety. Remember there is very little difference between HA cases, in affect, once we peel back the outer layers. Or, do you want to listen to anxiety chirping in your ear saying, "Go ahead, just do it! What can it hurt, really? THIS TIME I just might steer you in the right direction and I might lead you to some relief. Go ahead, just do it, man. I'm helping you. I'm protecting you from going over the cliff. What can it hurt? Trust me!"

Well, it does 'hurt' us in the longrun. End of story.

One day you will embrace this. I hope you can find your way to it sooner than later. That is really all I can hope for. There is always a way....there is always help....there is always hope. But, hoping and wishing it just goes away NEVER works for our lasting healing path....NEVER. And, acceptance is NEVER resignation. We can learn how to live well despite what we are feeling, right now, is our ominous future. Anxiety is mucking with you (I would love to use the F bomb there, as anxiety can really be a mother mucker - I know:) Keep on truckin', my man. You will have to let go, eventually, to what you believe you did to your bod...there is ZERO you can do to change this. Let go. The other peeps you worry so much about, as being affected by you, will be just fine in their lives...you put your focus in yourself, and then you will be helping them, as well. Nothing else really matters much except getting yourself on the right track. Healing comes down the road....getting yourself headed in the right direction is what's needed now. You can do this:)

Peace and Feel Well:)

[ClassicNerd]

Sixpack offers some great tough love and floridaguy, as always is offering excellent advice!

Actually, there is a connection between the mind and pain. I studied a disorder in psychology class wherein the mind causes the body to feel chronic pain. I used to know someone with this disorder (somatization disorder) and it was so bad her doctor was convinced she had ovarian cancer. She doesn't, and is doing well today pain free because she got treatment for her mental issues. Irritable bowel syndrom is more proof of the mind-body connection.

I get that upper right quadrant pain. That freaks me out, but it can be logically explained away as a muscle issue due to improper posture. Especially if you are sitting at the computer googling all day. Stop your googling! I've never felt better after googling. You're only freaking yourself out unnecessarily. You're only hearing part of the story on 0172. I fear a couple of conditions, and for one of them, I was able to find an entire board of people complaining about a completely normal, benign phenomenon and attributing it to the disease I feard. I found another message board with a bunch of healthy people (sans feared disease) complaining about the exact same thing and a 'doctor' posted on the board saying it was completely normal and nothing to worry about. It was something most people don't notice unless they're looking for it. People who are sick (and people who have HA) are unnaturally attuned to their body, and so they pick up on all of these little cues and turn them into symptoms. These symptoms then get attributed to some deadly disease. It's part of the irrational thinking, what I like to call the 'OCD' component of health anxiety.

You don't have hepatitis C, and you didn't transmit it to anyone in your household. You might be doing what I'm doing and focusing your guilt on your HA because it's easier to deal with than what you really feel guilty about. I don't mean to psychoanalyze and I am by no means an expert, but this is food for a thought.