Do you ever feel like your anxiety is affecting your partner?

[stena831]

Does anyone else here ever feel like they can't enjoy the relationship they have because they are constantly worrying about what might go wrong? I love my partner so much yet my current obsession is that I haven't fully disclosed everything that I've ever said or done and I'm constantly worried that I might have said something bad about him/his family to someone else that he'll then find out about and leave me for. It's ridiculous. I have this constant guilt and anxiety about it which makes me feel like I can't even enjoy the time that we spend together because I am constantly obsessing over things I have/haven't said. Even if your anxiety isn't directly affecting your relationship do you still find it hard to enjoy things? If so does anyone have any good coping strategies?

[awilliams606]

I am sorry you're going through this. I constantly worry that my husband will leave me, for whatever reason. It makes it hard to really relax and enjoy our life together because I am always so afraid of letting my wall down only to get hurt. I don't have any coping skills to offer, just my support and to let you know that you aren't alone. Good luck! :)

[dutchmentalist]

Hey man, you are not alone, I am always wrrying that I will do the one thing that my love will hate me for for the rest of our lives. I worry that she will leave, and I worry that if she doesn't that the hapiness I gave her won't be there and she will be fustrated with me for the res of her life. Maybe cheat on me for it. But I am currently seeing a Psychologist and he has been able to help. What you learn in therapy is coping strategies, and as long as you are commited and practice what you learn they will help you cope. So far they have been helping me, although a few things slip by sometimes.

[Katz2]

I just want to add this to mix!!! I have a odd one that I cant shift right now and it is full blown, crying all the time kinda thing, me and my partner had be going through a bad patch, I think mostly me over thinking and my issues, all that happened was I look at him and saw something I didnt like, I couldnt put my finger on it, and then I thought I dont want to be with you (this isnt new to me I've done it to every relationship and obsessed till I couldnt cope, and ran away from it all) so when I saw and thought this with him, I couldnt cope, I dont want to go through this with him, and it sent me mad, dragging up everything and more.

 I spent the next 4 years sorting myself out, reading "brain lock by dr. Jeffrey Schwartz" and "The brain and the Mind also by Jeffrey Scwartz" both really good books, brain lock is for OCD, but I think you can use it to cover most problems, but the bit I like was the line in the second book, and he was talking about the brain and the mind, and it struck me, me, I am the MIND and the BRAIN is the computer that isnt working right, and with this thought, I was armed, cos when you feel ok, nothing can touch you, but bring in stress and your brain will not change gear, or let go, so step by step I started to listen only to the positive thoughts and when I was down or there was too much negative, I just thought to myself I'm not listening to you anymore, slowly I started to notice the difference, and it helped big time, and I had a year and bit break from it, but I've been lucky cos I dont have kids and I was signed off so I could spend the time sorting myself out, cos there is alot of stress out there. So my full blown is now because I have to start looking for work. I really have ranted about this, sorry. I hope you can take something from this, and your not alone.

Katz

[AnxiouslyDepressed]

I am just like how Katz was...over-thinking things, obsessing about things, crying all the time, and running away or pushing them away. It's a shame because I have been doing this for years and not even realizing what I was doing...now, at 27, I am realizing that I could have probably been married and starting a family by now if I hadn't had these issues...oh well, everything happens for a reason. Now that I know the problem that I have, I can at least start working on coping strategies so that I won't allow these issues to destroy my next relationship. Thanks for the book suggestions Katz...I think I'm going to order them.

[AntonBloom]

I can relate to all of this.  Every real prospect of a good relationship always gets ruined for me because of my anxiety.  I overthink, second guess myself, and my confidence becomes shot to h***, ultimately leading to a break up. 

[JustWant2bWell]

Does anyone else here ever feel like they can't enjoy the relationship they have because they are constantly worrying about what might go wrong?

I'm no doctor but I definitely concur with much of what the aforementioned people have offered. 

How has he taken the idea of a therapy session or two?  If you look hard enough, there is usually at least one in any county that offers help on a sliding scale.

Oftentimes, a fresh look at a pending situation in the "here-and-now" can gently get a point addressed more effectively than a daily expression of worry can, and with better results too.

[Lostinthought]

Man all I do is worry. I worry that my wife will get tired of my worrying and leave. I worry that she will talk to someone else and that I'm not enough. I wish I had an answer but I'm still trying to figure it out myself.

[heartstringz]

I adore my husband but I also constantly worry that he will leave me because of my anxiety.  I'm sure it's hard on him, & I get anxious that one day he will get sick of it and leave. 

I try and talk to him regularly about our relationship and endeavour to make sure that he is still happy and doing ok re my anxiety etc.  All I can do then is to take him at his word.  It does make me feel a  little better though.

[khrusty666]

this has just happened to me.

And it happened unfortunately before I realised what was actually happening.
I was so scared, and constantly thinking that she will eventually find me out to be 'not what she wanted'. I held on so tight, but didnt fully open up about what I was feeling (becuase in my mind, if I did that, she would see the 'real me').

Ultimately, me hiding behind a cloak was the thing that drew us apart. We both had issues, but in the last few days I have been feeling very, very guilty about the whole thing, like I should have done something for it (where I really should have).

At the same time, I am annoyed that it kind of feels like I was abandoned, before I had a real chance to sort myself, and actually find out what was wrong.


For the most part, it was a beautiful marriage, but I could never fully 'enjoy' it, as there was this cloud of doubt always above my head.