Anxiety about driving after uncles death

[Zombie Cupcake]

My uncle passed away on monday in a trucking accident at work. We think something happened prior to the accident that caused him to loose control of the truck (heart attack or stroke, something) because he went barreling through an intersection in foggy conditions at 60mph and then flipped his truck.

Ever since, every time I get in the car I feel very anxious that somethings going to happen. Ive even gone as far as buying a new car seat and having it installed in my car for my daughter because I was paranoid about my daughter and wanted to feel safer with a newer seat. I drive a lot with the kids, but I'm clenched to the wheel now worrying somethings going to happen. Its like im just waiting for it to happen and its making me a nervous wreck.

[kconnors]

Hi Zombie Cupcake,

I am so sorry to hear about your uncle's passing, especially in the circumstances. Please consider some professional intervention right now before your anxiety becomes more entrenched. I relate to your concern about driving, but being so anxiety-prone and worried about driving will not resolve the issue. You are very much in a grieving episode over the loss of your uncle and seeking to understand the reasons behind it. A grief counselor or a professional therapist should be able to help you to come to terms with your uncle's passing, your reactions, and your current anxiety. Please let us know how you are doing. Take care, KC

[Crimson Serenity]

It's sooo unlikely that the same type of situation would happen to you. I assume you are a good driver, a defensive driver, a safe driver. Repeat that to yourself when you find yourself a nervous wreck:

I am a good driver.
I am a safe driver.
I am a defensive driver.
We will be fine.

[Branden192]

i cant send a message only 3 an hour and the last was an accident before i could respond.

[Zombie Cupcake]

Ok. Talk somewhere else?

[Branden192]

YEAH LET ME KNOW WHERE. MY EMAIL IS DEHAASMEDIA@0201

[Zombie Cupcake]

I have aim. It's Jessica.Larkin  at.  Aim. 0538

[Bamboo31]

Zombie, I'm sorry to hear about your uncle and your struggles.

I had a situation that changed driving for me.  Oddly enough, driving does not usually cause anxiety for me.  Actually it was always a safe place for me to be, and I found it enjoyable (as long as I know the area).

I was driving my regular route with my daughter in the car.  I stopped because the car in front of me stopped to turn.  A young teenager rear-ended me. I slammed into the car in front of me and did a lot of damage to their van.  Here I was, minding my own business, and a situation beyond my control changed the course of my day-police, insurance, paperwork, etc... I was shaken up. 

I felt so paranoid to drive for a while after that. I kept checking in my rearview mirror to make sure people were not driving too closely behind me.  I was always gripping the steering wheel. I was so anxious I felt I could just cry whenever I had to drive. I was mad that something I HAVE to do now was causing so much anxiety, on top of all the other things I worry about.

I started to try to find a positive.  I can't control what other drivers do, but I will always make sure to drive the speed limit. Before, I may not have been so vigilant.  Maybe I drove a little too closely to cars in front of me. I used the experience as a way of improving my skills. 

Over time, my fear lessened.  Now, I'm back to feeling comfortable.  I know my situation is different.  Losing a family member in a serious accident is horrific and certainly has more lasting effects.  As you said, your uncle may have had a health issue that caused the accident, so his driving didn't play a direct role.   

Keep driving; it will get better, but get help if you need it.