Does Panic & Agoraphobia effect anyone else's relationship?

[Emily]

I feel like my marriage could be ending. I have been married for 4 years now and up until the panic/agoraphobia stuff started, had a pretty good marriage. My husband was tolerant for the first year. Now we are on the second and he all of a sudden just wants to give up. I can see his point. I really can. I mean if I were "normal", I might not understand and get sick of never being able to go out anywhere or do much of anything too. I really don't know what to do here. I love him more than life, but I want him to have a happy life. What do I do?

I was wondering if anyone else goes through this kind of thing with their significant others?

Em

[apple]

I may sound like a real party pooper...All my past relationships suffered due to my anxiety and depression.  Some failed because of it and some failed because he was a d*nk.

I'm engaged now to a wonderful Man who has struggled through this with me for 3 years.  He always tells me how proud he is of how hard I work to overcome my anxiety.  Sometimes, when I cant figure out how he still puts up with me with such tolerance...he tells me he stays because I'm still trying.  He says he would consider leaving when I quit trying,  otherwise he's in it for the long haul.

are you on any meds or in any cognative therapy?  These as a combination are the best defence against anxiety, panic and agor.   Maybe if your husband knew what you are going thru and how hard your working to beat this, he may find the strength to stand beside you.  Talk to your doctor.  Find a specialist and have your husband be a part of it.  Part of the fight is being part of the solution.  It must be real hard to watch your loved one struggle and not know how to help or how to cope.  My hunny came with me to my first sessions with the psyciatrist and asked him what he should do to help, asked about things he didn't unserstand.  I think this gave him the ability to become a part of my recovery.

I dont know if this helps and I'm sorry you are in this situation.  Do you know your marriage is in jepardy or is this just a strong fear of yours that may or may not be true?

[Emily]

Thank you for the kind words Apple  :)

I am happy for you. I hope your relationship stands the test of time. My husband has asked me for a divorce. It did come out of nowhere, so I asked that he give me another chance. We both have a lot of animosity toward eachother, but I hope for the best everyday. I love him so much. He has actually read some of my books and attended cog therapy with me. I think he's just sick of me not being able to do the things we used to do and wants to find that again. I do not believe this would be an issue if I didn't have the panic.

[Queenie Violette]

I don't think that my panic attacks have affected my relationship with my boyfriend yet.  I've just recently been diagnosed (living with panic for about 7 years now undiagnosed) as having Panic Disorder, and my boyfriend who I've been with for 2 years now is completly supportive.  I think this may be because I already have Cystic Fibrosis and CF related diabetes, so he's already in for the long haul.   I do know, that when I have my attacks, there's  nothing in the world he can do for me, and this upsets him.  My attacks can get so severe, that I don't want him touching me, I don't want to be near him, and I have to close myself off in a quiet room with no distractions.  He doesn't understand this, but then again no one understands how bad a panic attack can be unless you've actually have one.  Have you talked to him, about how you don't mean to put him out or anything?  That this is something that you can't control?  I find that getting all of my problems out in the open with my guy helps him understand to some extent.  Just my two cents though. :cool:

[apple]

Emily,
I'm truely saddened by your situation.  My memory is really bad cause of my meds...are you on any meds?  Do you think you could take clonazepam or something when you go out so you and your husband can get out a little?

I have not had a Panic attack for 3 years after working thru it, altho I still stuggle with anxiety.

I hope you and your husband can make it thru this real tuff time before its over.  Take good care hun, I know this is awful.

[Emily]

I really appreciate how sweet you guys have been :)

I was on Paxil for a little over two years (which helped get the panic under control) but I stopped taking it in October 2005. The side effects were too much for me. I gained 55lbs, got adult acne, lost sexual desire, and got really depressed, so depressed I didn't get out of bed much in a whole year. All of things not only bothered me, but my husband as well. When we met I was this cute little 19 year old fun party girl. I was spontaneous, out going, independent, and had a lot of friends & life of my own. Well now.. I have nothing from my past. Three friends left, no life! I am still taking .5mg of Lorazapam everyday. It's better than nothing. I've lost 12 lbs since getting off the paxil & my acne is clearing away. I defiantly have my libido back as well    But I don't feel as sexy being uncomfortable with my body for the first time in my life. Husband seems to be trying a little more these days. He's being nice to me today, so thats always good! I guess only time will tell.. Thanks again for the support, listening, and kind words.

Em