Okay, so, I don't know if what I'm gonna say is going to help you, or not, but I figured I'd give it a try.
MS, has crossed my mind. I definitely have all the symptoms for it..text book really. But, you know what, I don't have MS...
Here's the thing...I see MS, every single day. My mom has MS. For real. Diagnosed. MS.
She has been officially diagnosed for around 8 years now. She lives every single day of her life, to the fullest. She's not in bed, with the covers over her head. She's not driving herself crazy with all the "what-ifs", she's not sitting on "Google", trying to drive herself insane. She's just living and enjoying her God given days.
She just got back from a 2 week hiking (yes, I said hiking) trip, in Colorado.
She takes care of herself, exercises, eats right, and tries to stress as little as possible. Of course, she has some problems, after all, she really does have MS. But, she takes it in stride and knows that she's gonna make it through.
It may be ironic - a big reason I am afraid of having MS, is because I am afraid of losing my mind and emotions...
Not sure where you get this from..my mom still have full control of her mind and her emotions..so do the hundreds of other people that she and I have interacted with at MS conventions..
So, anyways..I know what it's like to be in the downward spiral of an irrational fear with HA. I've been there, many times before...but, my mom has helped me to see through a different pair of eyes...to see that no matter what hand life deals us, we are all given precious time and precious days, to do with our life, something great..and I've wasted so many of those on, fearing I'm gonna die of some mystery illness.
Don't know if you read all this, or if it helped or not..but that's where I am right now in all this, so I hope, that maybe something in here, was of good use for you!