I have been a checker for many years- the oven and the stove. However, since my computer got a virus a month ago, i have been obsessing about it.
I have watched adult porn over the years , not addicted and never questioned what i watched. i think the virus triggered a thought and it has now escalated to irrational scary thoughts. My computer technician told me the comp 'died' as it was very old and he gave me back my memory and installed a new memory in my hard drive.
at first this random thought popped into my head, maybe i clicked accidently on an ad and i casue the virus. i felt guilty, then i thought were the actors 18? so i went back on the adult site and checked and it said they are atleast 18. that wasn't enought proof. then i thought what if i ahd been watching children and didn't realise?? that thought made me feel sick. i old never watch child porn! i dont even know how to access it and i never would! if i saw something disturbing, surely i would remember? i would get off the site. my thoughts are now that maybe someone has hacked into my comp and imparted child porn onto the old memory, the one taht isnt working. i ahve no problem with this new computer. i a m scared the cops are gonna get me. what is even sadder is i am a mum of 3 kids, and i only watched porn on my own out of embarrassment , i am too shy infront of hubby. i ahve a low libido because of my meds so i thought it would help me. i have nevr questioned what i watched over the years, i know they were adults, i never signed up or downloaded any porn. so why is my brain telling me i watched child porn?? wouldnt i remember if i did? also, i am against CP and believe pedos should rot in hell. these thoughts are killing me. i need proof. please reassure me.