My main two are,
To be something different to every one who is different. Helps me to remeber just as I have things that make me anxious other people do too. Also helps to work at calming myself so I am able to listen to people so I can find a balance in my comfort zone so I can take a step forwards build on my connection to the person, learn more about them then find my next balance point for the next step.
And my less healthy one.
I am Immortal until the day I die. This one came about around the time of my first heart attack. Before that it was more of a sense that as long as I was alive and people did not mind my exsistance I was fine. On the way to the hospital in the ambulance they decided to cardiovert me and with the rythem I had and previous sergeries as a child using a defibrillator under those conditions was absolutely not to be done. Until I had recovered enough my cardiologist wasn't aware but when they went to implant an ICD ( Screwing that one up and telling people you have an IED in your chest seems to put people on edge for some reason.) they found out that I had 3 holes in my heart. So a few months later I was in a childrens hospital in Seattle where they were going to fix the 3 holes and I signed a waver just incase there was complications as the stents they were using were experimental and they might also find more problems. Turns out I had 11 holes in my heart and pretty much when they use the defibrillator on me in the ambulance it had shreded almost the entire wall of one of the chambers in my heart. Since I was about 8 I would read books at the library and being bullied all the time at that age I would drift to the martial arts section. After reading a large amount of books on the different philosophies and meditation I started practicing breathing exercises and started adjusting my ways of thinking trying to find peace of mind, found a bit of calm before my world really went to hell for around 5 years. Back to the time between the first heart attack and getting my ICD ( Take #2 ) I was pretty much at rock bottom chipping away at the stone trying to make a hole that was a little deeper to crawl into and I just started focusing on my breathing. Not sure how long that when on for but during that part of my life I just worked at keeping myself calm and listening. Listening to other people anxieties, listening to other people hopes and dreams and concerns about me. At that time I was deep down trying to connect with who I used to be, but I was totally detatced from my sense of self. While I was meditating I would examine the things I knew where wrong in my head and things that were wrong in my past and to kill time as I didn't really feel one way or another about anything at the time. I would repeat parts of my past but each time I would try to see it as other people would see it. How does this look to the person that did that to me, how would it look to some one on the outside, how would it look to different people in my family or a friend. What did I feel, what did they feel about it then and later and what do people see when they are not involved. It might have been just been something they did on the spur of the moment or something bothered them and it was just a mixed up reaction. Might have been they had trauma in there past and under stress thats what their mind came up with or maybe they are in pain and while distressed their mind pushed them to do it as a way of communicating to you what they couldn't say or is too traumatic so their anxiety tormented them into acting out. Then sometimes there is the person that their mind has bent and broken to far and they just can't trust happiness, trust in it and it will be taken away from them so they go on and on causing suffering where ever they go. The last one is the kind that I make friends with because no matter the mental anguish we cause each other and the fact that some one like that is a danger to everything they come in contact with and realistically a danger to me, those are the people that will probably only get help long after it is to late and they are screwed beyond any realistic hope no matter how you would like to look at it. I've been to that place a few times and all I could really say about those times was that I wish I had had a friend that I knew could understand me somewhat even if all that was around was the memory at the time. So I had gained the ability to accept anything that happend to me, analyze it and make peace with it and to understand it and the things that would break or fix me and others to a point and came to the understanding about myself that with all the things I had been through that there wasn't really anything to much worse that I could go through, it was more like there were things that were equally worse that I still could end up going through and I was fine with that knowing I had survived things that were close to all that was left that could knock me down and the only ones that were left that were above my experiance would to be married and lose a child or spouse. To me as long as I know I can help people that have been broken like me I can always find peace in my mind and nothing can ever take that away. ( Except dementia or alzheimer's ( or for the tinfoil croud, chemtrails.)) I accept anything that is done to me when I feel I need to reach out and help someone and I will push myself past my health limits as much as I can if it helps them, I am immortal till the day I die is the mantra I repeat in my mind when I meditate and strive to live up too every day I can. It's deffinately not a healthy one for me a large amount of the time, but life isn't about me and I have a large amount of anxiety thats just as unhealthy that stems from knowing I could have help some one with problems like me and ultimately help in keeping more people like me from becoming who I was. And I would like to point out that has snowballed a lot of times and in some pretty dangerous ways, I actually deleted a large section were I went through a few of the things that happened but it came down to I didn't want to put other peoples problems up because I figured they wouldn't like those parts of their lives being shared and also because those were some of the most insanely screwed moments in my life and after thinking about them I came to the conclusion that some people might read it and end up with a new standard for "worste case scenario" as some of the people I have told have ended up with issues from hearing about my past and while It's just what I was used to it apperently really screws with people where that is not the norm and seem not to be able to be comfortable around me after they know my past. Can't really blame them as I still have a hard time dealing with people being nice to me and it screws with me a bit.
Really long but I felt that the second one really needed explination.