First Post Newbie: MS Stress Out & Health Scare Worries.

[Pan]

Well, the same as a lot of people on here, I honestly thought that this would never happen to me and I’m just in a confused and dark place with all of it….I am hoping that someone can have a read of this and just offer me some advice and see if my thinking on this is logical.

My problem started about 2 months ago.  As a bit of background, I have always been a worrier and perfectionist and also have low self esteem etc.  It all started with me finding a lump in one of my balls.  I found it quite by chance and was quite concerned, I went to see my doctor the following morning and he examined me and advised I needed an ultrasound to check it out.  Now, I expected that this would be done ASAP but the doctor advised me that it would be about a 6 week wait on the NHS.

I went home and made the worse mistake ever….yep, I Googled my symptoms.  Before I knew it I convinced myself I had terminal testicular cancer and that I was going to die.  When I woke up the following morning I revisited the doctor because my muscles had started to ache.  The doctor advised me that this was NOT a symptom of cancer but purely down to anxiety.  I went home and went back on the internet and just got myself really worked up and literally hid myself away in bed all weekend.

On the Monday me and my wife decided that this could not go on for weeks and decided to get the scan carried out on BUPA.  This was actually done on the Monday afternoon and was totally clear….I just had a cist.

Now, I was relived but noticed that my legs and my right one in particular still felt weird.  They felt quite weak and the right one almost felt like it wasn’t really part of my body….very strange.  I had my driving test about a week later and was still quite stressed out over this.  I took my test on the Friday and passed.  I had a normal weekend just relaxing and stuff but when I woke on Monday morning I noticed I would have frequent spells of dizziness and just a feeling of clumsiness etc….I just didn’t feel right.

I visited the doctor (a different one) who advised me that the dizziness was a classic sign of anxiety and that this was to be expected due to the shock I had had.  Now, I cannot really over emphasise the stress I got myself into over the lump.  Even though logically I was aware it was more than likely nothing I had managed to convince myself I had a terminal illness….my wife couldn’t believe the state I had got myself into.

Over the last month I have seen the doctor about 8 times.  My symptoms are dizziness and a general spaced out feeling, a nagging back pain that has recently developed, this pain can be in my hips, bum or lower/upper back, some tingling, pins and needles in my hands on waking, some neck ache and most annoying muscle aches….mainly in my legs but sometimes in my arms as well.  I also still have a strange feeling in my right leg.   All these symptoms are coupled with the nagging feeling that I have an undiagnosed illness i.e MS that the doctors are missing.  I have been examined by doctors who have all looked at my back, muscles etc and advised that they are sure it is anxiety and stress.  I have also had a full panel of bloods taken which where fine, the doctor advised me that he knew they would be OK but had requested them to reassure me.
One doctor I saw advised me that my symptoms and patterns of behaviour where classic signs of GAD coupled with hypochondria that can come on after a health scare and that my visits to the doctor where me trying to gain some reassurance….he advised me that my body needs to recover from the shock and that I need to accept the symptoms as anxiety and to break out of the worry loop in order to recover.  The doctor advised he has seen hundreds of people like me and it is getting more and more common.

When I look at it with cold hard logic, I can see why I am experiencing this.  I had the health scare and this knocked me for six, I turned 40 a couple of weeks back whilst all this was going and also someone I grew up with and the same age as me died of cancer recently etc etc….the fact that these symptoms started after the scare and that I did not feel like this before the scare also makes me think that it is highly likely that these symptoms are being caused by anxiety and that my body is probably in shock from the stress I put it under by worrying so much.  When I look back at it I can see I used to stress and worry a huge amount for all my life and that I was probably borderline GAD for ages but that the scare and my reaction to it has just brought it all out.

Having said all that there is still that horrible element of doubt that is just making me constantly think of my symptoms and then I just worry more and more.  I think my main worry is that I just don’t feel stressed or anxious in the traditional sense.  I am not having palpitations or panic attacks etc but just these symptoms pretty much every day for the last month or so.  The doctor’s I have seen all say the same thing and advise me that just because I don’t feel anxious it doesn’t mean that my body isn’t anxious and that muscles tense etc without us even being aware of it.

Anyway, apologies for waffling on.  Hope you have stuck with this and can offer me some advice.

Thanks all.

[miika]

hi!

I`ll try to answer more later, have to go now. But that was a good read, sounds like anxiety and stress to me. My first cancer fear was ball cancer. found this tiny painful lump and was in shock for months, convinced I will die. I had an ultrasound, because I did not believe doctors, they said it was nothing to worry about etc. so I know that stress!

later... 

[Pan]

hi!

I`ll try to answer more later, have to go now. But that was a good read, sounds like anxiety and stress to me. My first cancer fear was ball cancer. found this tiny painful lump and was in shock for months, convinced I will die. I had an ultrasound, because I did not believe doctors, they said it was nothing to worry about etc. so I know that stress!

later... 

Thanks, look forward to hearing from you later:

After I had the scan I just assumed that I would crack on as normal but that has just not been the case

The GP asked me if I believed the scan after I kept returning to him but that is not the problem.  I have accepted the scan and am not thinking the scan is wrong and that I do actually have testicular cancer....the problem is that the symptoms (or more correctly) sensations I have been experiencing since the scare are really bugging me.  I think I'm just finding it quite hard to accept that such persuasive physical sensations can be caused by stressing out my mind and that I'm stuck in a loop of thinking that the sensations MUST really be symptoms of a more serious neurological condition.

I really feel for people with this nasty condition.  The sensations seem to mirror something like MS so closely and it really does drive you mad.  The main problem I have is that it is so hard to divorce yourself from these sensations, they seem to govern you 24/7 and if for a short period you forget about it you get a glimpse of how your life maybe was or could be and then a twinge, ache etc pulls you back into the loop and back to square one.

I am a logical person and I know that the likelyhood of aquiring a very rare disease like MS at the time when it is very likely I would be suffering from stress and anxiety which have similar symptoms is miniscule.  Even though my logical mind is screaming at me 'IT IS ANXIETY' I just can't believe it....that is going to be the key for me, I need to start believing it but it is easier said than done.

Has anyone on here had similar symptoms after a health scare??  By it's nature such a scare is going to make you focus far more on your health and if you had previously been relativly healthy it does sort of knock the axis of your world.....sort of highlights your mortality.  That was one thing that really has shocked me.  Seeing how i reacted to the scare made me realise what a bloody wimp I really was and knowing that one day it will really be judgement time and I'm really worried as to how I'm going to handle that.

cheers all

[miika]

Actually I remember that ball cancer fear being the first major fear I had! Before that I was just anxious about everything basically. But if I remember right, that was what started my health anxiety. though I`ve been sensitive about health since kid, but that was the first real concern, few years ago.

So, I remember I was in a bad shape, "100" other symptoms started at the same time. I did not freak out about other symptoms until I had that ultrasound. Oh my god, there were so many symptoms to worry about, and the cycle was ready. sounds familiar? and yeah, I`ve had all those symptoms you described. Ms used to be my number one worry, but I don`t care about it anymore, I just have anxiety, period. I`m more focused on cancers these days

I think you sound like classic anxiety case. and I bet you know that too it`s like you`re 99% sure it`s anxiety, but that one missing % spoils everything.

keep writing!

 

[powderkeg241]

I am constantly believing I have something serious either from symptoms combined with something I have read. I had epididymitis a few months ago and as soon as they ruled out testicular cancer I was not experiencing symptoms and moved on to my next disease. About 90% of this garbage is in our head.  

[desmond404]

I can definitely feel for you - I'm in the midst of getting checked out for numbness and tingling.  However, I have to believe anxiety and stress is a big part of it. 

Back in May my wife suffered a 2nd trimester miscarriage (her 2nd).  I had this worry that "What if something happened to one of us where we wouldn't be able to have kids?"  In June I started a new job rotation in a totally different location, and I don't like this job like I liked the last one.  I'm also now in an office adjacent to a heavy manufacturing area full of toxic chemicals, so I was worrying that the chemicals and substances there were going to make me sick or give me cancer.

So, it's probably not a coincidence that what was probably some nerve entrapment in my arms from being at a computer in June, with the help of google, turned into me worrying about MS in July and August and getting numbness and tingling.

So, take heart that it's probably in your head.

[Folkwire]

Ball cancer was my first major worry too.

I had worried about my health long before that, but I just kept jumping from disease to disease every couple of days and going days without worrying.

Then I had spent 10 months CONVINCED I had testicular cancer despite a doctor's examination in which he said he found no lumps or swelling. All because of some pain. And you know what caused the pain? I was checking them 20 times a day!

Also, your symptoms do sound like anxiety. I started to worry about MS one day, and next thing you know...my face starts tingling. Then I get constipated. Soon, I feel weak, tired, and get headaches and eye pain. It's terrible but I managed to break it. For now. And by break I basically mean I stopped worrying about MS and found another disease.

[scooter]

I think what happens is that a health scare is the trigger and then (to mix metaphors) the genie can't be put back into the bottle. I too had a health scare 6 years ago, found out it was nothing, and have been trying to get off this anxiety thing ever since (I more from illness to illness, but usually it is cancer). We all need to learn to stop googling!

[Pan]

I think what happens is that a health scare is the trigger and then (to mix metaphors) the genie can't be put back into the bottle. I too had a health scare 6 years ago, found out it was nothing, and have been trying to get off this anxiety thing ever since (I more from illness to illness, but usually it is cancer). We all need to learn to stop googling!

Yep....Google is NOT your friend

What worries me is that even though I know I am vulnerable to health anxiety, the sensations I am feeling i.e, the aches, dizzyness, clumsiness and weird feeling in my leg, all point a neurological condition.  It is just so frustrating when every GP I see, every book I read and every forum I go on tell me over and over it is anxiety but my concious mind just cannot accept it and let it gp.

[sagelady1]

Pan,

Boy can i relate to your situation, well most of it ( female, so no lumps in my balls ) I also developed odd symptoms 2 months ago. Pain in left arm, pinky and ring finger.The next week tingling in both lateral sides of feet. Weak legs. Muscle spasms in neck and L shoulder. Still had ring and pinky symptoms. Also pain in L buttock, hip and thigh. Diagnosed with sciatica. Ok that explained the butt, hip and thigh.  But what about the tingling feet and numb fingers?
Had lumbar MRI herniated disc. Ok thats the sciatica and tingling feet. Still no answer to fingers and neck and shoulder. Must be MS or other neuro disease right? Ended up in ER, said sciatica, anxiety and QUIT GOOGLING!! Right.
Went to pain clinic epidural injection, didn't help numb feet, must be undiagnosed MS. Went to PM&R DR. now doing PT. for disc. Still doesn't address hand shoulder neck. 
Boyfriend rubs neck and shoulder, says I'm full of knots. And he can feel the tight muscles. So maybe this is the cause of finger pain. Don't know. Also spend HOURS googling, so maybe thats causing shoulder, neck and hand pain.
Also lost a friend to cancer 2 months ago. And another is being treated for lung cancer. her first symptom was shoulder blade pain that radiated down her arm into ring and pinkie finger. Coincidence? Sympathy pain?
Diagnosed with GAd and PTSD . Started Celexa- bad reaction. Changed to Cymbalta- bad reaction. Changed to Welbutrin- didn't tolerate that one either. So on good old stand by Xanax. I keep telling them, no more drugs. Just fix the physical problems and the anxiety Will go away. They say fix the anxiety and the physical symptoms will go away. Just want my life back.
Was super active, ball of happy energy until this. Now I wake up and say what will the symptoms be today?
I to know that this is probably all anxiety related. Causing muscle tension and pain ( except the herniated disc) but that I can deal with. theres a definite cause and a treatment. How is it we can't convince ourselves this is anxiety? By  the way the finger thing goes away with Xanax, that should be prof in itsself, but OH no, sure its some life altering neurological disease.
Welcome to the Hypo club. Maybe we can talk each other out of this mess. Dr's. sure aren't helping. Just labeling us doesn't cure us.

Sage 

[Pan]

Pan,

Boy can i relate to your situation, well most of it ( female, so no lumps in my balls ) I also developed odd symptoms 2 months ago. Pain in left arm, pinky and ring finger.The next week tingling in both lateral sides of feet. Weak legs. Muscle spasms in neck and L shoulder. Still had ring and pinky symptoms. Also pain in L buttock, hip and thigh. Diagnosed with sciatica. Ok that explained the butt, hip and thigh.  But what about the tingling feet and numb fingers?
Had lumbar MRI herniated disc. Ok thats the sciatica and tingling feet. Still no answer to fingers and neck and shoulder. Must be MS or other neuro disease right? Ended up in ER, said sciatica, anxiety and QUIT GOOGLING!! Right.
Went to pain clinic epidural injection, didn't help numb feet, must be undiagnosed MS. Went to PM&R DR. now doing PT. for disc. Still doesn't address hand shoulder neck. 
Boyfriend rubs neck and shoulder, says I'm full of knots. And he can feel the tight muscles. So maybe this is the cause of finger pain. Don't know. Also spend HOURS googling, so maybe thats causing shoulder, neck and hand pain.
Also lost a friend to cancer 2 months ago. And another is being treated for lung cancer. her first symptom was shoulder blade pain that radiated down her arm into ring and pinkie finger. Coincidence? Sympathy pain?
Diagnosed with GAd and PTSD . Started Celexa- bad reaction. Changed to Cymbalta- bad reaction. Changed to Welbutrin- didn't tolerate that one either. So on good old stand by Xanax. I keep telling them, no more drugs. Just fix the physical problems and the anxiety Will go away. They say fix the anxiety and the physical symptoms will go away. Just want my life back.
Was super active, ball of happy energy until this. Now I wake up and say what will the symptoms be today?
I to know that this is probably all anxiety related. Causing muscle tension and pain ( except the herniated disc) but that I can deal with. theres a definite cause and a treatment. How is it we can't convince ourselves this is anxiety? By  the way the finger thing goes away with Xanax, that should be prof in itsself, but OH no, sure its some life altering neurological disease.
Welcome to the Hypo club. Maybe we can talk each other out of this mess. Dr's. sure aren't helping. Just labeling us doesn't cure us.

Sage 

Yep, our situations do sound vey similar....hope we both find a happy outcome.

[Everlast]

very nice topic....

I am all that you described ..... just like you except i went from MS to ALS... and this dam twiching and pain eye tmj never go away...

I think i'm in a importante fase but alone.. i passed fase of negation... Some words like the doctors are stupid i 0m the one with pain the doctors don t know anything i know more...

fase os doubtfull

fase of aception

And now i back in work with symptons its true but each day is a victory for me.. i dizinezz i dont care it hurts forget it... its har yes it is.. but you can do it.... and keep going day by day...

[Pan]

very nice topic....

I am all that you described ..... just like you except i went from MS to ALS... and this dam twiching and pain eye tmj never go away...

I think i'm in a importante fase but alone.. i passed fase of negation... Some words like the doctors are stupid i 0m the one with pain the doctors don t know anything i know more...

fase os doubtfull

fase of aception

And now i back in work with symptons its true but each day is a victory for me.. i dizinezz i dont care it hurts forget it... its har yes it is.. but you can do it.... and keep going day by day...

Wish you hadn't bumped this Everlast...people think I'm sane on here, lol

Just to say that this was my 1st post and I went from MS then to ALS and then returned back to MS...nowadays I'm a gallbladder cancer type of guy

[Everlast]

LOL i was from testicle pain to MS to ALS now i am in CIPRO intoxication

[hkov]

PAN - Im sorry your having an episode.  Your always there for me!!!  Remember after my mom got out of the hospital I came on here flipping out?  I couldnt take that health scare and Im STILL in an episode now.  I HAVE dizziness, I feel "weird" - unexplainable.  I get really weird pains and aches and my mind cannot "shake" these feelings.  I know how you feel - sometimes just "US" can understand.  I can tell my friends and relatives but they will NOT understand.  Its something you have to go through and share.  I would really find rest in your Dr stating it is anxiety and just a cyst.  It will take you a while to get over that scare though.  It wont be instant.  Keep remembering what you tell me..about how powerful our mind is.  Try to keep reminding yourself that this is just an episode and it wont last.  I know Im not NEARLY as good communicator as you (Im your first patient, remember?) but just remember you'll come out of this and then you'll be writing to me about my problems.  I will be praying all day for you and u will be fine.!!!!  sending blessings and peace   remember, when your dizzy   its ANXIETY!!!!

[Pan]

PAN - Im sorry your having an episode.  Your always there for me!!!  Remember after my mom got out of the hospital I came on here flipping out?  I couldnt take that health scare and Im STILL in an episode now.  I HAVE dizziness, I feel "weird" - unexplainable.  I get really weird pains and aches and my mind cannot "shake" these feelings.  I know how you feel - sometimes just "US" can understand.  I can tell my friends and relatives but they will NOT understand.  Its something you have to go through and share.  I would really find rest in your Dr stating it is anxiety and just a cyst.  It will take you a while to get over that scare though.  It wont be instant.  Keep remembering what you tell me..about how powerful our mind is.  Try to keep reminding yourself that this is just an episode and it wont last.  I know Im not NEARLY as good communicator as you (Im your first patient, remember?) but just remember you'll come out of this and then you'll be writing to me about my problems.  I will be praying all day for you and u will be fine.!!!!  sending blessings and peace   remember, when your dizzy   its ANXIETY!!!!

Hi Heather

Thanks for the concern but I'm fine matey!

The thing is that this is a really old thread that got bumped by Everlast...think this was because I mentioned it in a previous thread, lol.

This was me back in my health anxiety heyday...well, was actually my first post way back in August 2007.  Thanks for thinking of me but I'm doing well...your advise is cool nontheless...lol.

Anyways, to avoid confusion maybe another mod would like to lock this baby up as I don't think there is anything to see here...