Chat Now!   Member Gallery    Member Articles    Games   Member Groups   Member Blogs   Health News    Bored?

Author Topic: Help me with this fear, please?  (Read 714 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline ChrissySunshine

  • All you need is love. :]
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 27
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Help me with this fear, please?
« Reply #15 on: March 23, 2012, 12:35:53 PM »
WOO! Two days no sweaty hands!
Bookmark and Share

Offline nowhereboy

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 126
  • Rec's: 0
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Help me with this fear, please?
« Reply #16 on: March 24, 2012, 02:19:08 PM »
 :happy0151:
Bookmark and Share

Offline justgirl

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 13
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Help me with this fear, please?
« Reply #17 on: April 27, 2014, 08:16:59 PM »
hey guys, sorry for the bump I know this is an old post, hopefully you're still on the site! I think you just made a massive leap for me in the way of progress. Had a bit of a mental breakdown two days ago, couldn't stomach my thoughts anymore so I punched the hell out of my bed, floor, anything to get the tension out, was in hysterics. Few days earlier my partner of three years and I called for a time out from each other, and somehow my family got involved and it got horrible. Everyone reacted awfully. I wanted to run away, anything to get rid of the terror I felt inside. One of the main reasons we split is because I have had awful intrusive thoughts for months now. They've been worsening and I can't believe I would think some of the things I think. I have even heard someone inside my head telling me to act these thoughts out, and another telling me not to and why I should stay stronge. I believe I have developed a defense mechanism and also managed to give my obsessive trait a voice because it's only since I started having such bad thoughts that I could hear it. I feel like my mind sometimes eggs me on to become worse. It's so ridiculously suggestable, seriously if you mention something bad once, it decides I am capable or will do it. Schizophrenia is the scariest thought ever for me, even to the point I have started to try convincing myself 'hell if I am then I can get sectioned, get help, it's not the worst thing so long as I just don't act on that thought to go stab everyone and myself'. For the last few days I've considered calling emergency services/ going to hospital and asking to be sectioned because I feel like I am so close to losing control. I only became scared of being schizophrenic because I met my partner's friend who is schizophrenic and I had a weird night with him, so I felt uncomfortable ever since. I've had some stresses recently, mostly living with my partner in extremely close proximity (seriously a 2 room flat) in a new city with no friends doing a job I don't like and being hundreds of miles from home. I think I've just lost it a little. Thoughts have escalated, and because I've had no relief from myself and tension has built up between my partner and I, I've just cracked and hit a really bad patch. My brain has accepted that I am developing serious mental conditions. I'm frightened because some symptoms of my panic I have gotten used to, like the hot flashes, tingling, pressure in my head, and I don't get very freaked out by them anymore, I'm not sure if it means I'm handling them better, or if I am actually going mad because they don't scare me quite so much.

This link to pure O has really helped. I just cried as I read it as I realised I feel just like this. I decided to tell people recently about what I actually think, my obsessions, knowing it may scare people off, and I told them about the voices. I just couldn't cope with it in my head on my own anymore, it's not living, it's barely existing. It helped a little to get it off my chest and hopefully these people will support me whilst I go to CBT (had one session, many to go), I just wish it was all so much more widely understood and explained so it didn't take so long for me to hear about it and realise I am not alone.

One line in that PDF said something like 'if you're going through all of this and managing to live a normal daily life then you're a much stronger person than you probably give yourself credit for'. That made me feel like there's reason to try.
Bookmark and Share

Tags:
 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
20 Replies
7103 Views
Last post November 12, 2007, 08:52:13 AM
by NervesOButter
1 Replies
1107 Views
Last post May 07, 2007, 11:30:55 PM
by LetyBunny
8 Replies
9134 Views
Last post March 09, 2013, 05:22:33 PM
by v0y4ger
9 Replies
2728 Views
Last post January 26, 2010, 09:38:25 PM
by Jenfr8801
2 Replies
1221 Views
Last post March 17, 2011, 12:42:52 PM
by Carryon