Scared because I can't sleep!

[Arghhelp]

Last night I had an argument with my husband, I was so anxious I could not sleep the entire night, not even for a few minutes. I tried to take a nap a few times today and no luck. Now I have convinced myself that I will never sleep again and will slowly go crazy. I have two very young children to look after and I am terrified. I have never had this problem in my life, usually I get at least a short amount of sleep sometime in the night. I am so scared, even if there is not something wrong with my brain I am afraid that my anxiety itself will keep me awake and I will lose my mind. I actually had trouble typing out this message, I keep putting the letters in the wrong order. I fear I will not be able to sleep again tonight.

[Shallovercome]

You will.  Plain and simple.  I went through the same thing.  Totally freaked!  Got on Ambien-slept like you wouldn't believe.  Then, stopped Ambien and still sleep great.  You will sleep.  Your body will make you.

[Kookey]

Hi Arghhelp,

I'm sorry you're having difficulties with sleeping... Try to relax. When you're anxious, that doesn't help when you're tired and need sleep. You were probably anxious when you were trying to sleep. I have that problem some nights/days, too. I just try to focus on something until I get sleepy. Have you tried turning the TV on at night? Focus on that until you get sleepy.... even though it may keep you up a little longer than expected, it helps.

[LindaRK]

You're probably putting the letters in the wrong order because of the anxiety and maybe because of your lack of sleep.

I've been where you are many times .... totally sleepless nights.  Plus, I'm not a nap taker. I wish I was though!

Try drinking some warm milk with honey tonight - or take Melatonin, or even Benadryl.  Totally harmless and will help you sleep.

Better yet - have a chat with your hubby and clear the air.  That always works for me.

[evwifey]

i have been there too.. just recently actually.  two straight nights with NO sleep.  it really sucked.  and i am super anxious about not sleeping so it was a vicious cycle.  i was finally prescribed ambien, and only needed one.  now i sleep great.   if you find you can't sleep, what i do is read or surf the web.  DON'T try to force yourself to sleep, it will only backfire.  pretty soon you'll be sleeping again.  trust me.

[Arghhelp]

Thank-you all for your replies, I think I have been trying too hard to sleep- fluffing up my pillows, reading boring books lol ... I really wish I could just stop waiting for myself to fall asleep and let it happen naturally.

[jwall378]

You will sleep. Trust me. I've had some nights where I didn't get one minute of sleep....and then the next night's sleep was some of the best I've had! Try some Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime tea or Tension Tamer tea. If worse comes to worse, I'll take a Tylenol PM or Benadryl. Don't worry though, your body will sleep when it needs to!

[Arghhelp]

2:30 am and no sleep. I have completely convinced myself I will never sleep again, and my anxiety is making sure it happens. Sometimes I start to fall asleep and then I get hot flashes. I don't know if the hot flashes are anxiety, I didn't have them last night when I couldn't sleep. I am also trembling a bit. Now I am so scared I will have to go to the hospital and get something to help me sleep. This is so frustrating. I have clorazepate, I tried that and it hasn't helped at all.

[Ravens Lady]

Hi Arghhelp,

I know your frustrations!!  I know how scary and temporarily uncomfortable it can be.  And sometimes as we get 'over tired' sleep becomes more difficult because its like our system is out of whack.  Add on the extra anxiety and bam, pretty frustrating situation.

Two years ago something similar happened to me.  I was so frustrated that I did end up going to the ER in the first time in decades.  But the doctor calmed my fears, gave me an antianxiety med that he took occasionally to sleep because he works the night shift.  I took the med, calmed down, and sure enough I eventually went to sleep after not having slept more than 3 hours in 3 days, and I got something like 6 hours of sleep that night, and woke up feeling much more relief.

Your body will eventually go to sleep, whether with the help of a med or just naturally on its own.  Its a temporary burden and extremely uncomfortable to be sleep deprived, but it will get better. 

The issue with anxiety is that it is sort of the "anti-sleep".  I was reading some sort of medical article about sleep and I remember it talking about the fact that we are adapted to use fear as a means of survival.  When we get anxious, its the mind and body's way of saying, "be on the lookout.  You need to exercise caution.  Stay alert!" so the brain is actually wired not to sleep when in a state of anxiety, as sleeping with a threat present would be leaving us exposed and in danger of being a target as we are vulnerable when we sleep.  So for those of us with strong anxiety reactions, we may find sleep more difficult from time to time.  But it all comes down to the basics of biology and survival.

I don't know if that helps you ^ but I sometimes find solace in understanding the mechanics of how the human mind and body work.

Anyway, just keep in mind that this is temporary, you WILL be okay.  I was okay even though I was so nervous when I couldn't sleep those few days, but here I am, I survived, and you will too!

Tips:

When the worrisome thoughts come into your mind, speak reality outloud to respond to them, you can say:

"Because of my anxiety, I have had trouble getting to sleep.  Now I'm over-tired, which is also making sleep more difficult.  But this is a temporary issue and it will be resolved.  This has happened to other people but they were okay eventually.  I will be too."

Take a warm bath before bed (body temperature dropping helps us sleep)

This is a trick I use sometimes:  When you are in bed, visualize warm childhood memories of places you used to visit but are somewhat vague in your mind.  Visualize a home of a friend's house, each room, try to recall each detail. What was was on the wall?  What was the color of the carpet?  Try to   walk into each room.  What is the furniture like?  I try to recall the details of elementary school my best friend's house, any building I used to visit that I have not in a long time.   I find this takes my attention off of the fact I can't sleep and relaxes me and even if I don't sleep, it at least keeps my mind occupied, but usually I do fall asleep.

***************

I know you don't want to go to the ER, but I don't regret going when I went, because it was the one thing that really did help me get that rest I needed.  So maybe if you are still having trouble, call a doctor, or maybe urgent care or last resort ER if you really feel you need a little more help.  Though who knows you may fall asleep tonight naturally. 

Feel better soon.  I'm sending thoughts of zzzz's your way. 

-Ravens Lady

[Arghhelp]

Thank-you for taking the time to answer, I didn't manage to sleep at all last night, maybe a few minutes here or there I'm not sure. I tried to relax but the pressure of having to sleep overtook me. I felt so much pressure to sleep because I have to look after the kids and my husband can't miss work to help me out because of my insomnia. I am going to try to see my doctor this morning, if not I will go to the ER, I am afraid of taking medication but at this point I may not have a choice.

[evwifey]

please DO NOT beat yourself up about taking meds.  i HATE medication!!! it took me a year to even try a ssri.  i have never had to take anything for sleep before, and the thought of taking something actually made it harder for me to sleep.  but, in the end, it worked and now i am grateful that i tried it.  sometimes it's hard to accept the fact that we may need help when we have gotten along without it for so long.  change is hard, but necessary in some cases.  just try something, either benadryl or some sleepy teas.... i have done them all!!!  but ambien worked best for me.  just a small dose was all it took.  and i KNOW it's hard, but try not to worry.  you'll be sleeping again soon!!!   :)

[Arghhelp]

I've heard of  a lot of strange reactions to ambien. Is this from two large of a dosage? I wonder how it is for people with severe anxiety and panic. I have read that it can cause people to sleep walk etc. I seem to get more anxious from the benzodiazepines, this makes me nervous about trying new things, although at this point I am fairly desperate.

[evwifey]

i know what you mean.  you are doing what i did, and thought only about the bad things.  my dose was very small, (i think the smallest dose you can get) and i had NO problems.  my mother also has used ambien in the past, and no problems for her either.  there may be side effects for some, but there are A LOT of people who have no problems.  unfortunately you only hear about the ones who do, and then you think that it applies to all.  it doesn't, not by a long shot.  i figured it this way, the side effects couldn't possibly be worse than the way i was feeling when i took it.  i was so anxious and sososososo tired i really thought i was going to lose my mind!!!  i was really stuck in that vicious cycle of fear and doubt and anxiety.  my anxiety is still there, no doubt, but at least the sleeping issue has been resolved!!!   you'll get to the point where you don't care anymore, you just want to sleep.  then you will.  i have two little ones, my smallest just started kindergarten this year.  i am a stay at home mom, and this was supposed to be MY time.  but unfortunately, i have developed HA and it's ALL i think about.  so much for enjoying some time for myself!!!

[marc]

It is pretty common to lose sleep when  stress is preset. There are many natural remedies for sleep such as
melatonin and there is a website that sells natural products, including help for sleep. The website is www.n3inc.com.
The product they sell is called res-q sleep.
I have bought their products for many years and they are very reputable and the products have worked for me.

[Arghhelp]

Thank-you,

It is pretty common to lose sleep when  stress is preset. There are many natural remedies for sleep such as
melatonin and there is a website that sells natural products, including help for sleep. The website is www.n3inc.com.
The product they sell is called res-q sleep.
I have bought their products for many years and they are very reputable and the products have worked for me.

I should look into something natural for the long run.

i know what you mean.  you are doing what i did, and thought only about the bad things.  my dose was very small, (i think the smallest dose you can get) and i had NO problems.  my mother also has used ambien in the past, and no problems for her either.  there may be side effects for some, but there are A LOT of people who have no problems.  unfortunately you only hear about the ones who do, and then you think that it applies to all.  it doesn't, not by a long shot.  i figured it this way, the side effects couldn't possibly be worse than the way i was feeling when i took it.  i was so anxious and sososososo tired i really thought i was going to lose my mind!!!  i was really stuck in that vicious cycle of fear and doubt and anxiety.  my anxiety is still there, no doubt, but at least the sleeping issue has been resolved!!!   you'll get to the point where you don't care anymore, you just want to sleep.  then you will.  i have two little ones, my smallest just started kindergarten this year.  i am a stay at home mom, and this was supposed to be MY time.  but unfortunately, i have developed HA and it's ALL i think about.  so much for enjoying some time for myself!!!

I have really gone over the top with worry over everything since I have been a stay-at-home mom, I am so afraid of not being able to care for the kids properly especially if I can't think straight from lack of sleep. I am going to take cognitive therapy soon for this, I hope it helps me out a bit.

[evwifey]

i know how you feel arghhelp.  i worry about my kids incessantly.  ridiculous worries fueled by the media, bad news.... having kids is the HARDEST thing i have ever had to do.  i think my anxiety has increased 10 fold after having my kids, and these physical symptoms have really pushed me over the edge.  the worry can really get to you.  i am also thinking about cognitive behavioral therapy and actually looking into getting a new therapist.  i love the one i have, but he isn't really giving me coping strategies.  so we'll see how it goes.  good luck to you!

[Clara_Destine]

I truly understand about the sleeping troubles and worrying that craziness will result! The kicker is, the more worked up you get about not being able to sleep, the more you will likely not sleep or not sleep very well. I've been going through the same thing over the last week and a half. I even woke up through Xanax, 50mg of the active ingredient in Benadryl, and three consecutive nights of 2.5mg doses of Melatonin.

Try not to put so much pressure on yourself. Sleep troubles happen to most people at least once during their lives.

[Arghhelp]

Thank-you all again for your replies.  I went to the doctor yesterday and they gave me Zopiclone, which is similar to Lunesta in the US. It is supposed to work withing 15 min. or so, I took it at 10:00pm and actually fell asleep around 12:00am, so it wasn't that fast and it didn't make me feel strange or drowsy, but it did take away my feeling of apprehension about sleep. I slept until 6 am (it is supposed to give you about 8 hours of sleep) so I didn't get a lot sleep but for me it was plenty and a huge relief. The doctor gave me the lowest dose so that is probably why it didn't cause as much drowsiness. The bad thing is as I was trying to fall asleep my heart was racing and skipping beats once and a while, I don't know if that was my fear of the medication or if it was the medication itself. I don't know if it is common for medications like this to cause a racing heart? I also woke up with a brutal headache, although it went away with advil. They doctor prescribed me 5 tablets, just so I can get over this rough patch, hopefully I won't really need to take them again and my sleep will get back to normal.

[evwifey]

i think it will.  a couple of at least decent nights of sleep should do you good.  that's all it took for me, and my mom as well.  good for you!

[Ravens Lady]

I'm glad that you got the med and finally got some sleep.  I think it can be somewhat normal to feel some different sensations on a med.  Plus just being sleep deprived can make you feel off.

I got a major headache after those 3 days I didn't sleep well... mainly because of the stress of it all and probably the effects of not getting sleep.  Add on taking a med and its understandable your body was thrown off.

Looks like you are on the right track though to getting better rest. 

-Ravens Lady