High anxiety during normal routine things

[losthobbit]

Hey everyone. I'm a three year sufferer of GAD, SA and panic disorder. The past three years have been like traveling through a dark maze with blinders on. But now, even if I'm still miles from it, I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I've begun to recognize my bad habits and my reactions to anxiety, and in certain moments I am able to think clearly.

I realize recovery is not going to be instant, it may take months or years to fully recover. Accepting this is probably a good thing for recovery.

The issue is that I still have a bunch of anxiety, its just my attitude has changed. Routine things, school in particular, is nerve racking. And when evening comes around, I'm anxious, confused, disoriented. I especially feel bad that I can hardly sit at the dinner table with my family. I went up to my room after quickly eating my food, because I feel I can't keep up with the conversation. (In the past I've beat myself up mentally for this. I'm trying not to do that anymore.) After calming down somewhat, I'm now struggling to find words for a research paper due tomorrow. Thats another thing, my mind has been so focused on anxiety that I can barely focus on anything important in my life.

Does anyone else feel especially bad about being "unable" to be around people? Or find it almost impossible to write things, especially something like a research paper?   

Another thing I sort of hate myself for is believing that I'm the only one suffering in this way. Most of the time Its VERY hard for me to believe people go through the same thing I do. My anxious thinking gets the best of me, telling me things like, "oh, that person doesn't have it as bad," or "no, I have something way worse."

[Rushway]

I can sympathise...I'm the same, I don't really want to be around people for fear of them having expectations of me, however small, and me not being able to fulfill them, without panicking or going wobbly and making a quick exit....

Routine stuff is a daily nightmare, it's the fear of being shown up or making a fool of yourself...work is my biggest headache as you have to be there and can't keep running out or being able to be in your own space....

The inability to write comes down to the lack of concentration, you are unable to take your mind off the anxiety long enough for fear of losing the constant scanning that's required to keep you safe...trust me you're certainly not the only one with this !!...