Stress Advice for an Artist?

[Aja]

Ok, so I won't go into all details, but I'll just say the gist of what I'm going through right now:

A guy online found my art portfolio and hired me for a comic gig for a website he's about to launch. Basically he has 30 or so artists make comics for him every month and each will be displayed on a different day, that sort of thing. This was BEFORE my anxiety. After my health got worse I noticed that stress inducing things made my anxiety symptoms (chest pain, muscle spasms, increased heart rate) come back momentarily until I finished what I had to do. This comic gig that I'm doing is now the epitome of all my anxiety. Especially since I'm always assigned 2 comics and I spend roughly 20 hours or more over the course of a week making a single one.

I kindly emailed the guy in charge and asked him if I could drop the project. He replied saying that if I drop he himself would have a lot of trouble trying to replace me since he thinks I'm one of the better people on the job. He has agreed to lower my assignments to 1 a month but it still is a real stressful thing to do.

Is there any way around this? I really, really would love to just quit. The pay is very low for the hours I put into making them. I have so much more priorities like school and work and parents that give me enough stress on their own. However I don't want to burden him and the others either. He really seems like he needs my help. I know that time management is one of my issues; I like to do one thing at a time and I can turn into a perfectionist.  I'm hoping someone out here can relate to the situation? 

[Flopmonkey]

I understand your situation very well.  I also have a tendency to take on more than I can handle.  The question you have to ask yourself is whether it's more important to help yourself or help out this other person.  That said, declining to help someone would definitely be a source of anxiety on its own for me because of the guilt, so you have to weigh that anxiety against the anxiety of the job.

Is there a specific length of time you've committed to working for him?  If the length is indefinite, you have to remember that he has no concrete claim on your time and effort.  You might want to give him some notice before you leave, though, so that he can find a replacement.  If you give him one or two months, I'm sure he can find plenty of artists who are looking for work. Of course, if you feel you need to quit immediately for your own sake, that's what you should do. Anxiety is a health issue.  If this were harming your physical well-being  rather than your mental/emotional well-being, would you still continue working? As long as you're respectful and haven't committed to a specific length of time, I don't see a problem with your leaving.

Even if you have committed to work until a specific date, honoring that commitment isn't worth feeling miserable.  You need to know your limits and respect them.  It sounds like you're already very busy and may need to prioritize in order to protect your other endeavors.  Your art should be a source of happiness and emotional release, not more anxiety.

Good luck! I hope this helps :)

[Aja]

Thank you for replying =)

Yeah, it always seems that I have time, but whenever I start on it something new comes up that I have to finish first. He did ask me to help find more people to work for him, so I'm thinking of asking a bunch of people I know. Hopefully he'll allow me to switch out with one of those people. Yes, the project does seem indefinite, since it will be a monthly thing. I didn't really realize the full commitment of that until I started doing the comics. It's kind of tormenting to have to do something and feel finished only to know you have to do another one next month anyway. It's this cycle of stress that is bringing my anxiety back when I just need time to relax. Not that I'm not new to it, I used to do a monthly newsletter, but it was for fun. This feels like a job to me. 

I'm not thinking it as a permanent leave, it's just that as of now, school and work is a priority (and I do need my own free time to myself). Probably during the summer I'll have better time to devote to the comics.