Author Topic: Someone???? (Read 468 times)

beingsarahc · « **on:** January 28, 2012, 01:43:55 PM »

FIRST SIGNS OF MS AND I HAVE ALL OF THEM!

Today i have dropped pretty much everything i have held in my hands.
The odds that i have this are looking more and more likely.

unexplained fatigue - this may or may not be resolved with rest. Additionally, the fatigue may be insidious. In other words, fatigue may gradually but relentlessly work its way into your everyday living leaving you unaware, except with some degree of hindsight, that it exists as a 'symptom' rather than just being 'tired all the time'. It has been noted that the fatigue is more likely to occur mid-afternoon. In addition, this may also be accompanied or characterized by increased muscle weakness, mental fatigue, sleepiness or drowsiness

sensitivity to heat - known as Uhthoff's phenomenon, is when symptoms become worse when the person is exposed to heat such as a hot shower or from exercise.

uncharacteristic clumsiness - dropping things, knocking things over, tripping unexplained weakness in the arms or legs

language skills - language skills can be affected in varying degrees and can be affected transiently. This means some days you are fluent (normal) with language and other days or times you are struggling to either 'think of the right words', or somewhere between the language centre of the brain and actually saying the words, the data is changed and an approximation of what you intended to say comes out rather than the words you actually wanted to say. By its very nature, this is difficult to pinpoint or even describe and is often put down to other causes or ignored entirely.
slurred speech - slurring or mispronunciation of words without any obvious cause.

inability to concentrate - again, often ascribed to some other cause or ignored.

depression - often just classed as 'depression' rather than being linked to any underlying organic disease such as multiple sclerosis.

disinhibition and / or aggression - inappropriate social behavior.

urinary retention and / or incontinence

visual disturbances such as blurring and / or transitory eye pain. Approx. 15% - 20% of people with multiple sclerosis will present (medical jargon for 'first' clinical symptom) with optic neuritis.

LindaRK · « **Reply #1 on:** January 28, 2012, 01:52:20 PM »

How old are you?

greend · « **Reply #2 on:** January 28, 2012, 01:53:55 PM »

Beingsarahc, everything you have mentioned can be explained by ANXIETY! It really sounds as though you have worked yourself up, I know, because I have done the same thing many times. Just try to do alot of deep breathing and I also find reading books like the one's by Eckhart Tolle to be helpful. Have you ever meditated? I am just started to do it; it's not easy, but I know alot of people have found it helpful. Try to realize, you have really wound yourself up. Symptoms go crazy when you do that. Try to relx and I hope you feel well soon!!

beingsarahc · « **Reply #3 on:** January 28, 2012, 01:55:09 PM »

I'm 36.

I know i am ill.....

LindaRK · « **Reply #4 on:** January 28, 2012, 02:03:26 PM »

The reason I asked your age was that I'm thinking this could be perimenopausal or some type of hormonal issues. No, you're not too young to be experiencing that. Every symptom you mention I've had - off an on for many, many years - even before peri and menopause. I'm not trying to downplay what you're feeling - please don't think that. Have you by chance had any fsh tests to determine your hormone levels? With any luck, it could be something as simple as that.

I was diagnosed with anxiety well over 30 years ago. I'm not going to say that what you're experiencing IS anxiety, but what I will say is that I've seen what this disorder can do and the tricks it can play on us. It's so tough when we're in the midst of symptoms like you're having to even consider it's "just" anxiety, but it surely could be.

First of all - stop telling yourself you are ill. Easier said than done, I know. Despite the symptoms you're having right now, try and be strong - get out and away from the computer and do something. Go shopping, bake/cook, visit friends, go for a walk - just do something and try to stay busy. I remember times when I was so very fatigued I thought I couldn't get out of bed, but I took it literally one step at a time and made it work. It was hard, but it helped me through various symptoms and helped me see the reality of what was really going on - anxiety and not some deadly disease.

Do you have someone there who could help you out? Sort of "coach" you and encourage you?

beingsarahc · « **Reply #5 on:** January 28, 2012, 02:19:46 PM »

I'm too exhausted to move right now. I can't even get out of bed barely for more than 30 minutes.

mikeymike · « **Reply #6 on:** January 28, 2012, 02:28:35 PM »

Sarah, you have mentioned before that your symptoms have been going on for two years (on and off) but now you are comparing your ongoing symptoms to the first signs of MS. You would have progressed further by now. If you have had MS for two years, you would not need to question it. It would be obvious to everyone around you...including your doctor.

All of those symptoms being listed are also symptoms of anxiety. I have experienced every single symptom you list here. I see you have some percentages listed in those symptoms. Mathematically speaking, are the odds greater that you have MS or anxiety?

LindaRK · « **Reply #7 on:** January 28, 2012, 02:37:56 PM »

You're to exhausted to move? But you have enough energy to Google and write posts here? Come on, sara - you can do this! I'm not sure where you live, but if you can get outside and just get some fresh air - do it. Take some baby steps. After each achievement, you will feel more and more powerful (mentally and physically).

mikeymike · « **Reply #8 on:** January 28, 2012, 02:42:55 PM »

Look at our forum.

There is a sticky for MS worriers. Right now, on the first page of these forums alone, there are at least three other users who started topics about their MS or ALS fears. MS and ALS are not the common cold...they are both very rare, but you can see how us anxiety sufferes can jump to conclusions. Anxiety can manefest into symptoms which are similar to nervous/muscular disorders. Your symptoms will get better if you give your body a chance to relax. You need to stop checking your symptoms. If you need to note them...note them. You do not need to have an emotional response to any symptom, it does you absolutely no good and will make your symptoms worse.

mikeymike · « **Reply #9 on:** January 28, 2012, 02:47:00 PM »

If you are not already, why don't you jump onto the chat? Talking to people on there will help your brain focus on other things besides worry. Of course, you need to do your part and not chat about your symptoms, lol.

I am sorry you have to go through with this, but don't feel sorry for yourself. You have the strength to overcome this!

beingsarahc · « **Reply #10 on:** January 28, 2012, 04:19:40 PM »

I'm sorry.. Clearly i am just annoying people when all i am doing is trying to not sit in my house and worry *constantly*. Okay, so i do worry constantly and have spent a lot of the evening doing physical checks on myself, strength tests, sight tests... i am really going mental this time. So scared.

LindaRK · « **Reply #11 on:** January 28, 2012, 11:32:09 PM »

I don't think you're annoying anyone, sara. We're just trying to console you and offer suggestions to help get you through this. Have you heard back from the doctor yet? Probably not, since you know they are out of that office no later than 5 p.m. on Friday, right?

I'd still continue to call and leave a message. When do they get in on Monday?

mikeymike · « **Reply #12 on:** January 29, 2012, 03:36:57 AM »

Definitely not annoying me. I know I was absolutely certain I was dying. I had to take back control of my life. You can do it too!

strangerdanger · « **Reply #13 on:** January 29, 2012, 04:20:21 AM »

I have many of the same symptoms and I'm the same age as you. Someone else mentioned hormones and I'd have to agree- my Doctor has the same suspicion with me and I am getting my hormone levels tested.

beingsarahc · « **Reply #14 on:** January 29, 2012, 05:23:21 AM »

Never thought of that.

beingsarahc · « **Reply #15 on:** January 29, 2012, 06:11:48 AM »

Oh my goodness... I have the 'cold draft on face' feeling today. I've sat in every room and it's still there... There are NO windows open, no draft possible coming into my house.

Scared AGAIN!

beingsarahc · « **Reply #16 on:** January 29, 2012, 09:21:45 AM »

Please someone....

I am speaking really nasally, that IS a sign of ALS!!

beingsarahc · « **Reply #17 on:** January 29, 2012, 10:27:58 AM »

..and i have a twitch under my chin.

ALL these things are too much of a coincidence to just be 'anxiety'.

vardnas · « **Reply #18 on:** January 29, 2012, 01:54:28 PM »

sarahc, I'm not really sure what you want to hear. Everyone keeps saying, "yes, it's anxiety," yet you keep saying, "no no, I have ALS!"

What to do? You want us to agree and say "yes, it sure sounds like you have ALS?"

You either have to trust us, or not.

What you're experiencing, this set of symptoms that just TOO perfectly lines up with your affliction of choice to be "just anxiety," that's happened to me three times before. Since my HA started, I was convinced, CONVINCED, that I've had hypoglycemia, leukemia and liver failure. And each time, it start with having one symptom and then I would go look up more symptoms, and would notice that maybe I had another one or two on the list, and at that point I'd be completely convinced that I had "syndrome X" and before I knew it, I was experiencing EVERY symptom, and therefore MUST HAVE THAT DISEASE.

But guess what? I was wrong. Every single time, wrong. And that's what the mind does. When you get so totally wrapped up in thinking you have a disease, your mind will manufacture the symptoms for you. Crazy? Maybe, but that's the way the mind works. It's an incredible machine, and we are all gifted with incredible imaginations, which, if you think about it, is all HA really is: an insanely overactive imagination that's turned inward and is fixated on ugly things.

So, my advice to you, is to shut down the computer for a while. Get out of your head, a focus on something in real life that's right in front of you. Stop searching for reassurance here (for now) because whatever it is you're looking for, we're not able to give you, clearly. Stop googling, for the love, you know this, it never does anyone good. Do you have anyone close to you who knows what you're going through? Tell them. Find someone to confide in, get some support. I know what it's like to be so insanely wrapped up in a perceived illness, it's hard to think about anything else, but try, right? How about treating your anxiety? Are you seeing a counselor? What about medication? These things, while helpful to varying degrees, can be beneficial, and will help take you out of the cycle of fear and symptoms, fear and symptoms.

I think deep down, you know this is anxiety. That's why you keep posting to a hypochondriacs board. But when you ask for reassurance and get it, believe in it, please! We are all in the same boat with being convinced we are ill, that's why we're here. But have you, in all your time here, ever heard someone say, "I was right! I have this awful disease?" Nope. You're not the exception, darling, trust us.

beingsarahc · « **Reply #19 on:** January 29, 2012, 02:06:09 PM »

My life has been pretty awful and i was talking to my boyfriend earlier ((who is NOT supportive, nor sympathetic in the slightest)) and i said to him that loads of people, younger people get sick and die, so why not me? I know what i am feeling is real, it's not imaginary, these things are happening. My tongue is numb down the left side, i can feel it is. My foot, nose and bottom lip are tingling. I can't remember words for the life of me. I've been doing memory tests online today and it just confirmed to me that my mind is going because i couldn't remember anything that i was meant to remember. I've also been trying to remember the names of different objects in the house because i am getting scared that i am going to wake up with no memory tomorrow morning. I'm saying over and over my name, dob, address....for all of my family too.... (now i have forgotten what i was going to write).

That is EXACTLY what i mean, again, just confirming how ill i really must be, completely forgot the last part to what i was writing... How frightening is that?

LindaRK · « **Reply #20 on:** January 29, 2012, 02:10:44 PM »

It must be terribly frightening for you. I know, because I've been there. No one is saying you're not experiencing all of these things. We're just trying to point out to you that it COULD be anxiety-related. Instead of telling yourself that you are indeed sick or that you have MS or something, try telling yourself that what you're experiencing is anxiety.

beingsarahc · « **Reply #21 on:** January 29, 2012, 02:45:21 PM »

I really doubt it. I am far too ill to think it's anxiety. No one could possibly has THIS many things wrong, what with forgetting what i am forgetting...and the dropping things, numbness in the face/other places, the crawling skin, itchiness, the pins and needles, the choking, weakness in limbs, dizziness, pain behind eyes, blurred vision, hot/cold/wet feeling on skin, slurring, twitches, heavy limbs, no life in them, jelly legs, can't walk properly.... SO many things that don't equal anxiety to me.. Not MY anxiety anyway.

LindaRK · « **Reply #22 on:** January 29, 2012, 02:51:23 PM »

If you really believe this is something serious, would you go to the emergency room?

beingsarahc · « **Reply #23 on:** January 29, 2012, 03:01:40 PM »

I DO believe its serious, but unlike i pain in the chest (where i would go to A&E) i don't think death is imminent.... Not right now....
(I now have blurred vision in both left an right eye)

beingsarahc · « **Reply #24 on:** January 29, 2012, 03:04:52 PM »

Even WORSE than anything, i've just seen mild atrophy on my tongue. OMG. I am panicking properly now.