Hi,
I'm new to this forum. I found it looking for something that might help me with my anxiety. I haven't been diagnosed, but I spoke with a counselor who suggested I may have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and possibly Social Anxiety. She set me up with a meeting with a psychiatrist, but I never went because I don't want to be put on medication and the idea of talking to someone about my problems stresses me out more.
I'm pretty sure I have an anxiety disorder, though, based on my internet research and the following possible symptoms that I have/had:
-As a kid I used to get "bad feelings" where I was convinced something terrible was going to happen.
-Around ages ten to twelve I also had a lot of trouble sleeping and started dreading any time where my mind wasn't occupied because I would stress out over little things.
-I would cry over imperfect grades or any mild constructive criticism.
-It was also around this time that I withdrew from a lot of social interaction because I was convinced my friends were only inviting to me to be nice and that they didn't really like me. When I would have friends over, I would dread it for days beforehand.
-I got shingles twice in middle school. It's a form pf chicken pox that usually affects the elderly and people with weak immune systems. The first doctor didn't even recognize it because she'd never seen it in someone so young. The second doctor said it was caused by stress.
-Now I'm 21 and currently skipping class because I can't focus.
- I'm constantly tired because I haven't slept well in about a month.
-I have very little motivation to do anything, but still feel a tremendous pressure to succeed.
- In high school I still had some issues with anxiety, but the added responsibilities of college/adulthood have made things much worse.
-I take on too much work because of a pathological need to be successful, but I really don't know why I care so much.
-Worries over my family's health, my future, body image, and financial issues consume my thoughts.
-In the past year I've purged to deal with the stress. I still have the urge to do it at least once a week, if not more.
-It's taken a major toll on my relationship with my boyfriend and destroyed my other friendships because I'm too tired and stressed to take on any other plans.
I'm hoping some people who have been in my position could help me out, or that people who have GAD could tell me that I'm just a normal worrier and that what I think is clinical anxiety is just normal grown-up stress.
I want help, but I'm just not ready to see a doctor about it. I'm afraid that any medication they put me on could take away my drive to be the best. Even if it makes me happier and improves my life, career success is still my main priority.