Anxiety problem. I feel so lost. Please. Help if you can. :(

[soccerash21]

First of all, thank you so much for reading. I'll try to make this as short as I can. Most of my posts on here have been about me freaking about my HA, but right now that's not my issue. When I post things I usually get an overwhelming amount of support and answers, so I figured I'd give it a shot. This past August, I moved from Chicago where I spent my entire life living, to California with my then boyfriend because he got a job offer with an animation studio. Without hesitation or question about it, I went with him, We had been dating for 5 years, and I knew that I would be spending my life with him, so it was logical. I was not done with college yet however. I am 2 classes away from earning my Associates degree. But, I found out that the school I was attending would allow me to finish my classes online, so that wasn't a problem. We were both super excited to move. I'm 25 and he's 23, so it was that time that we moved out of our parents homes and started our lives together. Everything was fine until recently, when everything has just seemed to be a mess. In November, my boyfriend proposed, which was one of the happiest times of my life. But it just seems like since that happened, my anxiety has gone crazy. I recently started to develop health anxiety, which is a whole different issue. I'm having an extremely difficult time finding a job out here, and it's making me crazy. I'm starting to look into colleges out here to get my Bachelors, but it's all extremely overwhelming to me. Back at my school at home, I had a very good advisor that helped me figure everything out regarding school. Out here, that's a different issue. When we moved, I was so excited to be going all the way across the country and away from my family. Don't get me wrong. I love them to death and they mean the world to me, but I was 25, and it was just time to go out on my own. Recently though, I have started to miss them more than I ever thought possible. I'm sitting here crying right now because of how much I miss them. I'm so stressed out between trying to find a job, trying to find a school out here, missing my family, dealing with the reality of being a "grown up". It just sucks. I've got crazy anxiety going on right now, and I'm having a really hard time dealing with it. I've had massive headaches for a few days, and I'm guessing it's just from the stress and anxiety that I've been dealing with. I love my fiance, and I moved to California so he could have his dream job. And I originally didn't have a problem with it. But now I'm having second thoughts, and there's really nothing I can do about it. Animation jobs are pretty much based in California, so I'm pretty much stuck here. I just miss my family, and sometimes, like right now, I wish I could pick up and move back home. Idk what I'm looking for here. I guess just some advice, or anything that might help calm me. I just feel so lost.

[vardnas]

Hey soccerash,

I don't know if you're in northern or southern California, but about ten years ago, I made my own trek out here, alone, and let me tell you it was hard. I had just finished school and came out here to pursue a career, but finding a job was really difficult and learning a new city (Los Angeles) was pretty overwhelming, and I didn't have the support of family or friends, who were all either in Oregon or Texas.

However, that was almost ten years ago, and even though the beginning was rough, I did eventually find a job and find friends and have made a life for myself.

So, I can definitely relate to what you're going through, and the only advice I'd give you is to just keep moving forward. I think what you're going through is very normal and if you stick it out, I think you'll find that soon, you won't feel that way. It honestly took me about five years before I felt like L.A. was really home, and I know that might sound like a long time, but it's not like the years leading up to that were all bad.

Just hang in there. Make time to talk with your family and friends, but try and meet new people, too. Jobs are had to come by right now, too, but as my dad always liked to say, "no one stays unemployed forever."

[marc]

Anytime someone moves, whether locally or across the country it can be stressful. In the meantime,
I would try to volunteer somewhere, which can lead to full time work. You could also try a part time
job, which may also lead to full time work. I have a friend who owns a personnel agency who has told me that
persistence and networking is the key in this tough economic climate.

[soccerash21]

Hi guys-

Thanks so much for your responses, they really helped. We actually moved to LA, although we don't live in the city. It's just been an overwhelming few months, and it's times like these where I wish I had my family. Not saying that my fiance doesn't help me with this stuff, because he does tremendously, but I just wish I had family around once in a while. It's so hard living all the way across the country from them. I haven't seen them since August, mainly because neither of us can really afford air fare right now. My fiance and I are hoping we can fly home next month, assuming his boss lets him get time off. I really hope so, because we both really need it.

[Chantelle]

I think for most people (even those who don't deal with anxiety) moving cities is a BIG deal. I love my husband more than anything but the thought of moving half way across the country to where he grew up freaks me out. There's so many changes: different city, different lifestyle, you don't know anybody, and everything that was once familiar to you is now foreign. I think you should give yourself a HUGE pat on the back for making the move. Allow yourself to be anxious about all these changes...that is completely normal.

Allow yourself time (if you are able) to find a job. I am currently unemployed and so far I am finding the month of January to be the WORST time of year to look for work. Seriously feels like there is nothing out there that applies to my credentials.

If money is tight...is there any way your families could come out to see you instead? At least it would give you the chance to show them around and spend some much needed time with them.

[soccerash21]

Hi,

Thanks so much for your response! I just started to look for a job this month, but my goodness, it is extremely frustrating! I've applied at SO MANY places, only to be told that they aren't hiring, or that they will hold onto my application for 60 days. Ugh. It's so aggravating. As far as our families flying out here.. my fiances parents came out in October, but my parents don't really have the extra money right now to fly here. We are praying that he can get approved for a few days off next month so we can go home and visit. It was nice to see his parents when they were here, but I miss my family too. Hopefully it all works out.., Good luck with the job hunt though! I've just learned to try to think positively when looking for one. Even though it seems pretty difficult at times, lol

[floridaguy65]

Hi S:) You posted this on the GAD Board, too. I replied there. To me, you sure have received some very nice replies. I hope you're feeling a bit better. I know it can be a struggle. Hang in there:)

Peace:)

[soccerash21]

Hi floridaguy!

Yes, I figured the more places I posted, the more responses I'd get which would in turn, help lessen my anxiety. Thank you so much!!

[Chantelle]

Hi,

Thanks so much for your response! I just started to look for a job this month, but my goodness, it is extremely frustrating! I've applied at SO MANY places, only to be told that they aren't hiring, or that they will hold onto my application for 60 days. Ugh. It's so aggravating. As far as our families flying out here.. my fiances parents came out in October, but my parents don't really have the extra money right now to fly here. We are praying that he can get approved for a few days off next month so we can go home and visit. It was nice to see his parents when they were here, but I miss my family too. Hopefully it all works out.., Good luck with the job hunt though! I've just learned to try to think positively when looking for one. Even though it seems pretty difficult at times, lol

I can totally relate. I think what scares me more is that I can't seem to even find postings to apply to and I know without applying to dozens of places I have little chance of actually receiving a job. Here's hoping we both find work soon!!

It can be difficult getting holiday time when starting with a new company so hopefully your fiance will be given a few days leave. Another temporary option (if your family has internet) is to 0366 with them. Not quite the same as in person but still a lot better than talking on the phone!

[plomeli]

Hello!!! I live in Cali and I can understand your anxiety. L. A> is a big big city and just the freeways are intimidating!!! But just give it time, it will grow on you.... any change is stressful and yours is a huuuge change. Be patient things will turn around for you! Good luck.