Finally worked up courage to see doctor - having trouble accepting diagnosis

[JCWest]

I finally saw my doctor today after 2 years of fearing my health anxiety. I was so scared he would say "yes, you need to see a neurologist" and send me off to get diagnosed with something horrible. My main issue is that when I go for a run or do something strenuous, I get these little buzzing spots when I bend my neck or my back. But because it goes away after I rest for a bit, or take a hot shower, he said they are physical symptoms, probably of something a little off in my spinal chord. I have been scared sh*tless that it was l'hermitte's sign for the past 2 years, which is a sign of MS.

Neurological issues do not just come and go based on you resting for a few hours, apparently.

He diagnosed me with severe generalized anxiety disorder, or GAD, and wants me to go on meds. He said I'm at risk of developing depression later in life if I don't curb it now.

I'm having a hard time really appreciating the diagnosis, has anyone else had the same experience? I'll go for a while feeling much better and my near constant anxiety will fade, only to return. This was only earlier today, I'm going to try and beat this thing on my own before going on any SSRI's.

Thoughts?

[ClassicNerd]

JCWest - I can completely relate. I went into my doctor for "imagined" breathing issues, and although he didn't deny me a full work-up to ease my mind, he did give me a recommendation to talk to a psych. counselling service run through his office. I ignored his advice, thinking he was just trying to pawn me off on someone else because he wasn't knowledgeable enough about my condition. When I returned a week later with osetoarthritis of the spine, he sat me down and told me I had a very serious disease: hypochondriasis. I didn't believe him and was incredably put off with this diagnosis. I was hurt and offended and terribly angry at him for denying me the x-rays that would confirm my early-onset osteoarthritis.

After an evaluation, he highly recommended (and keeps recommending) that I see a psychologist. I'm having issues getting in to see one right now, but I've had an evaluation that revealed OCD, and anxiety manifesting as hypochondriasis. They want to evaluate me further for narcissistic personality disorder. I wasn't very confident in this evaluation, as I didn't see much "science" going on here. Furthermore, I'm deeply hurt and angry that they also want to talk to me about narcissistic personality disorder as it is one of the few things I don't believe I have. I want to try beating this on my own without meds, too. A number of people have apparently had success with cognitive behavioural therapy (or so I'm told).

[xando]

The last time I went to the doctor was about 14 months ago.  I've waited because I don't want to go every time something comes up that I KNOW isn't anything to worry about.  But worry I do anyway.  So, while I have HA I don't go to the doctor because I know I have it.  But the last time I went I left feeling a million dollars.  And for the better part of a year I used that good feeling to keep my HA in pretty good check.  But then things started acting up again at the end of December and my HA came back with no way to talk myself down. 

So, I'm going back to the doctor for another checkup.  I know they typically recommend yearly checkups, but I'm going to see if she'll agree to every 6 months.  Might be overkill, but I hate having this anxiety ruin my life.  I know that there isn't anything really wrong with me.  The same thing it's always been and it's already resolved itself.  But I'm at a point where I don't want to deal with the BS anymore.  So, as much as I don't want to run to the doctor over something I know is nothing, I want to get off the roller coaster and get on with life.  Going every 6 months might allow that to happen.

The last time she suggested meds.  I didn't want to go on them, but this time I'm going to ask for them and stick with them.  It's great if you can do it without them, but I just don't want to keep having the HA show up over nothing.

[vardnas]

It's so funny, why do we do this to ourselves? We believe we have a serious disease, but when the doctor says that we don't have it, we either a) don't believe them, or b) get offended that they suggest we go see a mental health professional.

I mean, what's WITH that? Mental illness is as serious a diagnosis as a physical one, yet when treatment is suggested, we balk instead, thinking we can "get over it ourselves" or we wish that we did have some sort of deadly disease, because maybe it'd be easier than dealing with mental health issues?

That kind of thought process truly IS sick in the head, sheesh!

[JCWest]

That kind of thought process truly IS sick in the head, sheesh!

This is exactly what the doctor said to me. You had a disease but it's a mental one. It's not going to kill me, but I need to be aware of it and how to address it.

So far my anxiety has lessened, it's not gone, but I think I can get through it.