Need Opinions

[Derekkest]

I am looking for some opinions form people who have been diagnosed with PTSD.  I am trying to figure out life again in a way by figuring out myself.

I know I am a hypochondriac, and I am also a full fledged OCD person  .  But, I am in search of the root of the problem to help me get my life back in order.

A little about myself is probably in order.  I am a 38yr old male, married with a new daughter.  I am a business owner and have known about my anxiety for about 15 years.  I first discovered my new found fun for panic attacks at the age of 23 when I found my then Fiance in bed with another guy.

That destroyed me and it took a LONG time to get over that which entered me into my wonderful world of anxiety ever since.  I found a great doctor who explained this all to me.  He then prescribed Imimpramine and Tranzene.  Worked fantastically!!!  Unfortunately he moved out of State 

During this whole time I was in school for my NREMT-A ( EMT for those who are wondering ).  So, I learned just enough to make myself dangerous.  I then applied for and got on a Fire Department and did this for about 5 years. When I wasn't working fire, I moonlighted EMS for an innercity Hospital.

Towards the end of my 5 years, I had an anxiety attack on the squad and decided to call it quits.  Patient care was my first priority and how can I do that when I was the patient. Ever since then its been an up and down ride of Anxiety, Hypochondria's, and OCD. 

Now, I am thinking that maybe this is all related?   My first anxiety attack happened when I found my then fiance, which was also the time I was in school for what I thought would be my career.  Is it possible I carried that over in my head in what I considered a traumatic episode of my life?

Somewhere in the back of my head every time I went on a EMS run, was I thinking about that episode?  I never had any problems with the fire side of the FD.  I miss that the most!!!   

But I cant even watch the medical shows on TV or I will fall into an anxiety attack.  Anyways, just a thought and wanted your opinions :)

[spoiledchild69]

I am not "officially" PTSD, but my recent bout of anxiety I know is related to the fact that a few days after my wedding I almost lost my brand-new husband in an accident. One emergency surgery and four months of his recovery later, I found my anxiety spiraling out of control. I wondered, what's wrong with me, the worst part is over, and he's recovering fine. I didn't know that it tends to hit you once the crisis is OVER. It totally brought back all of the memories of my father's sudden death from a heart attack 15 years ago. So I can relate to PTSD definitely. Part of my current anxiety cycle is re-living the emotional trauma of every loss I've ever experienced when something triggers it. For instance, a silly thing like finding a picture of my dog, who now lives with my ex and who i haven't seen in 2 years, set me off the other day. I started crying, and then dreamt all that night I was looking for my dog, and I couldn't find him because he had been in an accident and was trapped under a car and I couldn't get him out. I woke up crying. Obviously this relates to everything I've been through in the last year... the mind is a strange thing. I think maybe when you come out of a traumatic period and life settles down your brain can start processing all the emotions you were trying not to feel when the events were actually happening. I have experienced so many deaths in the family I jump if the phone rings at nighttime. Who's dead now? Things like that. I have all these little paranoias and wierd avoidance phobias as part of my anxiety too. Anyway this is kind of a ramble but I hope it helps you. I can only imagine how traumatic it was to be in your situation. Good luck and hang in there!