I just dont know what to do :(

[SeriX]

Anxiety has hit me again, after 11 months of getting over my last bout of it, it came after being poorly with flu and a sickness bug. Its been 5 months with it back and I'm struggling again

Im having problems with getting on buses and leaving home, shopping, sitting in my uni lectures and talking to people.

For example at my uni I sit in the room, and constantly throughout the lesson Im getting these surges of adrenaline in my head, keep thinking Im going to collapse, black out or have a fit. My heart pounding, Im shaking and sweating. I want to get out! 

I did well beating it with no meds the first time, but this time feels worse to me, feel like I dont have the strength that I had before

Im scared Ill get kicked out of uni as Im having days off due to this issue, and Im scared I have no future

I quit my job a while ago to help me concnetrate on just uni, I do love it but atm Im finding it hard to travel there and sit in lectures.

I have thought about trying medication but that scares the life out of me, wouldnt mind some views on how medication has helped you with panic and anxiety attacks. Just want my life back and to be able to do what I want to do instead of fighting my body to do it

Just so emotional atm feel like I have no friends, support and my anxiety problems will never go away and let me live my life to the full.

Would love some words of encourgement, also anyone had these adrenaline rushes to their head over and over where you cant concentrate and feel like your loosing it?

Thank you

S

[breynolds95746]

Hey SeriX,

First off, you are not alone, and this community is filled with others suffering from similar symptoms. I actually was diagnosed with Panic Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder my freshman year of college, and was in the same boat as you with the problems it caused. I could not find the strength to converse with others, and often felt isolated and scared for my life for fear I'd die or be left alone. I eventually got on an SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor), which in short, helps to increase the amount of Serotonin transmitted within your nervous system. I also was placed on an "emergency" anxiety benzodiazepine (inhibitory, sedative-esque anti-anxiety pill) called Ativan to be taken when my panic attacks were too strong for me to handle.

I completely understand why you are scared to take medication. It is a big decision that makes a lot of people queasy. However, I can assure you, SSRI's (anti-depressant/anxiety reduction) are not harmful to your body. They, like any drug, can obviously be over-dosed on, but unlike many anxiety aids, are often taken indefinitely by patients without negative symptoms (and they also have a low risk of tolerance- therefore you probably won't have to increase the dosage over time). The benzodiazepines are a whole different story. They should be taken selectively, due to their moderate risk of tolerance effects as well as addictive qualities. I used to take Ativan (the benzo) once a day whenever my anxiety seemed to be nearing "attack" levels, but over time, weened myself off no problem, and only now turn to it when I absolutely need it. The benzodiazepines, if taken carefully and not TOO frequently, will not lose effectiveness over time.

So, overall, while medication is a big commitment, if taken as prescribed, can be used to effectively make life at least tolerable. I recommend adjunct therapy thought to accompany any anti-depressant, anti-anxiety medication. Behavioral therapy or even some cognitive classes might help you handle the "adrenaline" problem that you feel during times of anxiety. Think of medication though as a ladder to climb out of the anxiety cellar, but not a permanent crutch. Just enough to get you back on track.

In the long term though, it will take you believing you are OK and recognizing that your anxiety is just due to over-active thinking. You are certainly a smart individual and a hard-worker if you attend university and have held employment for a time. You obviously are strong, so you too, must believe that. The medication will set you up to clearly think, but you must convince yourself that you are the great person everyone else certainly sees you as.

Remember, if you ever need any advice, feel free to turn to the community here. It's filled with strong, helpful individuals who I'm sure share similar experiences. Best of luck to you friend.

Brad

[Turbotommy]

Hi Serix,
I hae been on paxil (SSRI) for over 10 years with no ill effects....it works great! Meds can help you get your life back...your not alone.

[floridaguy65]

Wonderful reply, Brad:)!! I hope SeriX can try to embrace a lot of his sentiments and insights:)

S, I remember replying to some of your posts before. I'm glad you were able to find yourself some solace from the panic / anxiety. If you were able to do it before, you can do it again!:) Setbacks happen. It's not a question of "If?"...it's a question of "When?". But, setbacks can, certainly, come to us in different levels of intensity and stay for varying lengths of time. Keep in mind, though, we probably will never be "cured" from our anxiety / panic disorders to an extent where we will have ZERO interactions with anxiety and / or panic. To me, if we struggle to the levels which are commonly shared on this website, then our chances of living 100% anxiety free are really not that great. But, that is AOK!!!:) Anxiety doesn't have to define who we are, at all. We can live very, very well along with our anxiety trials, and we can, most certainly, accomplish what we want to in life. Our makeup, our lot in life, to me, includes some anxiety...probably to some greater degrees than most other peeps, who haven't struggled with anxiety disorder. But again, that's OK:) Asking "why me?" gets us nowhere. Not saying this is what you're doing, but I know how we can really think about our entire dealings with anxiety and panic and fear and insecurities and feel it's not really fair, some of the time. A major key in our healing path is acceptance. Acceptance that, yes, this is who I am. Just like a person who has MS, Lupus, Sickle Cell Anemia, etc., has to accept their condition, so do we, in order to begin to move forward, fully, with our lives. Of course acceptance DOES NOT imply resignation. NEVER, NEVER resign to feeling helpless to help yourself. Through acceptance there can come improvement. Improvement comes through calm, dedicated work on our parts to embrace habits and actions and mindsets that can begin to move us down our healing paths from anxiety and panic disorder(s). Part of our improvement may involve meds and therapy, in addition to our own self-help. Meds and therapy have helped countless peeps move down their healing paths. Many have been able to do it without these, as well. We are all a bit different in our receptive qualities regarding different methods of treatment for anxiety and panic. And, we might be in a different place on our healing path...so what might seem to be working for another might not hold the same promise of working, that well, for another at any given time, I suppose. But, we mustn't stop seeking what is our best and most efficient way to some lasting solace, until we find it. Once we find it, to our own extents, we must remain true to our habits and actions and mindsets to keep the setbacks at their minimum. But, having afforded ourselves some lasting relief, before, then we can, surely, do it again each and every time we have a period which seems like we might be "backsliding", perhaps. To me, the most powerful times to keep our good habits in tune, so to speak, is when we are feeling well (or better, at least) and not under some dominate anxiety / panic. I adopted a mindset many years ago that entails me embracing the fact that I might always have to remain cognizant, somewhat, of my interactions with anxiety and remain pretty faithful to my techniques (habits, actions and mindsets) for keeping anxiety from presenting major lifelfow interruptions. But, to me, that's a small price to pay. I've been curled up in a ball in my bed, crying uncontrollably, wondering how I would ever move forward with my life because of my brutal panic attacks and my anxiety issues. I've been to the depths of hopelessness...I know how this stuff can make us feel like we will never be who we thought we were supposed to be. Hell, it's hard to even think about who we are supposed to be in the future, when we feel like we are destined to be "short-timers" here on Earth, anyway, as I believed my anxiety and panic would, eventually, be my ultimate demise. But 26 years later, I have accomplished much. I've learned how to live well along with my anxiety and it doesn't present serious issues for me, anymore. Sure, I deal with some intrusive thoughts, still. And sure, I have aches and pains that my mind will run away with as being something sinister, in nature. But, I've learned to accept this stuff, and I have been able to remove the dominate fear from these thought patterns. Wow, sorry, I got off on a long winded, rambling diatribe here....anywho:) But, for sure, meds can help. Meds can help us get to a point where we can learn how to embrace all the OTHER habits, actions and mindsets that can really move us down our healing path. Go in to it believing you will get some relief. Go into it believing it is part of your healing path. Go into it believing you will not always have to be on meds. Go into believing that there is ALWAYS hope and help! Go into it knowing you will try to embrace all that can move you down your healing path towards some lasting peace!:)

Peace and Feel Well:)