Anxiety about having Anxiety?!?!?!?!

[whenktattacks]

I have had GAD for about 14 years. I have it usually in the morning when I awake, then maybe a bit throughout the day. My main "set off" or worry is that I will become crazy, example: schizophrenia or bi polar or just pshycotic. I see a psychiatrist every week and he has assured me I am not crazy. I just have anxiety.  Well, my husband and I are in Saudi Arabia right now for a few years due to my husbands job, well I dont have a job here so I sit all day at home. I know I know get out and excersise etc. I walk around bake and do alot to keep my mind busy!  But I am thinking of going home ( usa) for school for 12 months, but I am worried I will have anxiety when I get there and I am scared to go. Everytime my husband and I move to another country I have an anxiety attack that lasts for a few weeks. I am scared for change, and even if I go home with my family I am scared I will freak out.
Thanks for listening. :) 

[Cheesus]

I get anxious about anxiety - but only because I mistake it for other things :) at the moment my anxiety is also focused on my mental health... so we have some things in common.

Change is highly stressful. Indeed, it is times of societal change that produces higher 0119 rates - this is something that was highlighted by Emile Durkheim. Whilst Durkheim was using this statistic to indicate how society functions as an organic entity - a macro societal power that holds us all to account in one way another - it is useful to think about it, also, at the micro level of the individual.

If social change causes social anxiety, then personal change can cause personal anxiety. After all, society is just an aggregation of individuals (any social scientists out there feel free to challenge me here).

So it is not unreasonable that change should cause anxiety. We cannot be blamed for feeling increase levels of anxiety in these times. The irrationality here is not in feeling anxious when you arrive in the USA, the irrationality is feeling anxious about feeling anxious (something you seem to already be aware of). But I will say this: it is fine if you arrive and you have nerves - it is normal of any individual; it is fine if you are anxious at your first day of school (college/university? I don't know... I am English); it is okay to freak out a little bit here - it is not something that is outside of the human condition. Anxiety is fine, it is just not fine in the doses we sufferers are subjected to.

As anxiety with change is a probability even for the non-sufferer, you should just accept that you will most likely feel anxious when you arrive. However, you should not extrapolate that anxiety to the rest of your 12 months - people take time to adjust to things but you will soon settle in. Do not worry about worry. And when you do worry as a result of change, do not assume that worry exists as part of your 'condition' or that it will continue unabated for the remainder of your schooling.

I hope this has helped... it may seem like I am just cementing the thing you're worrying about to be true, but what I am trying to convey is that in these situations it is okay to worry a little bit 

[Cheesus]

That should say "if societal change causes societal anxiety"... I realise the term 'social anxiety' is quite a different thing in the context of an anxiety forum 

[LindaRK]

I think the "what ifs" are just about the worst part of anxiety, because it's the part that keeps us from becoming who we were really meant to be.  It causes us to stagnate.

I would hazard a guess that if you took the first step and started going back to school, you would be okay.  It's always that first step which is the killer .....

[cheezal]

I get anxiety about having anxiety. It's the worst thing. I can literally talk myself into feel terrified about everything and anything. My biggest fear when I first started getting severely anxious and panicky was that I was going mad, crazy or had Alzheimers or something. It felt so foreign and scary that it didn't make sense to me that the way I was feeling could be caused by just anxiety. I think the trouble is, we grow up to think of 'anxiety' as a bit of nerves about a specific event (say exams or tests) or at most say, a fear of spiders etc. However, I had no idea that anxiety could be a disorder or syndrome or that it could be so life halting and dilapidating. The more I read about peoples experiences and the more I go through things myself, the more I am amazed at how little it is highlighted still.

I think change is scary to anyone but to an anxious person it can be so much worse. I get freaked out when anything changes but at least there is an obvious and rational trigger for your feelings. It's totally normal to feel anxious moving to another country or starting a new school/career/job. Don't be too hard on yourself and expect that you should be 100% ok. It's a big step but I bet when you finally go for it, it'll all be fine. :)

i'm feeling a bit crappy today I am not sure if it's hormonal or because I am tired but I just feel really odd and freaked out and my thoughts are racing. Not bad thoughts just thoughts but when I realise I'm doing it I freak out about it instead of just stopping it. I have GAD and also Health Anxiety. I'm constantly scared of dying and think I have everything under the sun. My fear as I'm typing this is that I have toxic shock syndrome! That's from having a hot flush and a headache. Crazy eh! I really hope one day I can relax and laugh at silly thoughts like this instead of sitting here closed to tears and trying to analyse every single thought, feeling and symptom in my body.

Thanks for the vent! So. How's everyone else doing? xxxx

[LindaRK]

You and I sound similar, cheezal.  I have those crappy days, too, where I just wake up feeling weird. Can't put a finger on it, but I just don't feel right. I take it in stride, knowing that it will eventually pass, whether it be the same day, next day or week.  That's all I can hope for and I try to focus on that.

Yeah, the hot flashes.  You menopausal?  That puts a whole new spin on anxiety, doesn't it?

[Cheesus]

That feeling of something being 'wrong' is what I have turned into my feelings of potentially having a serious mental illness. I worry that I am on the verge of tipping over and it is just about to happen.

Sometimes I laugh at this stuff, sometimes I hate it, sometimes I find it interesting, sometimes I am grateful that I have this life experience because I know I will eventually beat it and be so much stronger when I finally do. I have had tastes of freedom and I like it :p just need to habitualise non-anxious reactions.

[LindaRK]

I think that, as difficult as it may be, we all need to try and laugh at this stuff more.  I think it's the only way we will be able to overcome it or at least survive living with it.

There are times when my husband sort of makes fun of me - not in a bad way, but to put things in perspective.  God knows, I need it ..... and I love him for it.

[cheezal]

Actually, we do sound alike Linda :) My husband also teases me (kindly) about it and it really does help to lift me out of my 'impending doom' mood - he knows when its a good idea and when it's not!

When I'm feeling good I can be so positive about my anxiety however, in the dark cloud moods, its so much harder. Even though I know and understand it rationally, I can't get out of it. It's a tough one. I guess because it's all to do with our emotions and hormones and for me, past experiences etc. The health anxiety throws me too. I can't get my head around that as much because I never had it before. I can't help spiralling off whenever I have a symptom etc.

[LindaRK]

Yep, exactly.

[mrsworrywart]

 I feel for you i have GAD, Panic Attack, Health anxiety, insomnia I  feel edgy i let everything get to me i have all kinds of symptoms i don't go out of the house because i have all kinds of feelings out heart palms dizzy shaky, heavy jelly legs like i can't or not able not walk i go numb pins and needles run threw my body. I feel tired drained lost sad and unwanted. As goes for many other feeling I'm getting  And I'm not on any meds i was when my dad died and know my mom just died. To top it all off i have relationship troubles i can't blame him for not wanting me and running to other things. I just a big mess i don't feel like doing anything fun any more i lost all my friends and i dint feel like making new ones cause of old past i just can't let the past go with anything and then new troubles show up on my door step witch makes me so much worse. All i wanta to do is just is stay on the couch and cry cry cry i cry so much theses days just about everything and if makes me feel like a big baby. My bf just yells at he he don't Care any more he just dose his own ting know that how its been for years.

[Anxious4Nuthin]

I hate that but it's normal to have anxiety about anxiety

[whenktattacks]

Thanks everyone, its good to know I am not alone. This anxiety makes me feel so alone, like no one else knows. but coming on here and seeing replies helps alot! I hope one day there is a cure and we will all be ok! as for now keep up the support cause we all need each other! Thank you all!

[Thefilmbug]

 I really hope one day I can relax and laugh at silly thoughts like this instead of sitting here closed to tears and trying to analyse every single thought, feeling and symptom in my body.

Thanks for the vent! So. How's everyone else doing? xxxx

You will.
I know when I go through my normal periods I do laugh at the absurdity of it all. Perhaps it is a good thing because when it comes on you can look back at when you felt well and laughed at all. This alone won't pull you out of it when you get it again but it may help you through the tough times just thinking about it.

[LindaRK]

I think it's good to have someone to laugh with about our anxiety.  Not just anyone, but someone we feel 100% comfortable with.  For me, it's my husband.  He can make fun of me and I don't always take it personally.  He can make me feel more at ease and point out that what I'm feeling is anxiety and not impending death!