Fear of men and being touched

[Persephone]

Terrified to be touched, have been since I was 7 when something bad happened. I won't go into the particulars but it scared me and now if anyone gets really close to me I panic and find it hard to breathe. If it is a man that is getting close to me or I think he is going to touch me, even a apt on the head or a handshake or a hug, I flinch away as far as I can and if I can't get away I can even pass out, as I have demonstrated on many occasions. It is taking over my life and I can't have even the most basic relationship with a guy as a result, I don't even let my friends touch me. I am terrified and I don't know what to do. I feel lonely all the time and it's like I'm desperate to feel loved, but when anyone gets close enough to touch me my mind is screaming "RUN!!!!!". so yeah... help? haha, i really don't know what to do anymore. Any and all advice would be much appreciated, thanks
Mary x

[Cuchculan]

No doubt you have let the early childhood experience take over your life as far as men go. It would good to see a therapist. To be able to talk out everything that is inside of you. I did notice from your introduction post that you have such vivid dreams that involve men too and a lot of blood. It is all the past still there playing on your mind. You have to learn that not all men are as bad as the one you probably met when you were a youngster. Some a good. Kind and loving. They mean no harm at all. But until you learn to deal with the past I think you will continue to feel this way about men and continue to have those bad dreams as well. All about trust. Which you don't have. Get yourself some serious help. Learn to deal with the past. It may hurt to do so. But it will help you in the long run.

[Persephone]

Thank you for your advice :) I should say that I don't think of all men that way, a lot of my friends are guys, but I just can't get close to them, and I feel threatened easily. I'll consider getting some outside help, thanks :) x

[angelk01]

Hello Mary, I think it is important to seek some counselling
via the G.P as you need to speak about how you feel and try to
really uncover certain emotions and responses and try to work with the
counsellor to come up with some strategies. xxx

[blindedbyrainbows]

Hello, Mary.  I'm so sorry that you had something happen that made you feel this way.  I agree with the others that some counseling might definitely help.  Also, finding a group of people who share your experience - who you can relate to and talk to and learn to share with - might help, as well if you weren't ready for one-on-one.  There are also places online where you can talk to others about those kinds of experience in detail with others who relate and they seem to help.  I will always value the role of support groups when it comes to some of my problems :).

Dealing with your past will bring pain, but dealing with the problems (especially with the help of a therapist), will allow you to grow and heal.  Like all forms of growth, it will take time, but it will definitely be worth it.