at my whits end, i dont know what to do

[comeasyouare]

ok, so lately my family has been ganging up on me over everything. like when everyone is talking about soemthing and then i say something, everyone stops talking and doesnt respond or they laugh at me, like i've just said something really dumb. and when ever i ask my dad why he does things like that, he says" i dont know if your lieing or  believe it or what but you are SO far from the truth i cant even believe you" and wheni try to have a conversation just with my dad, my sisters wont allow it and butt in and critize everything i say
one of the main things we get into a fight over is that i'm not helpful enough and i'm not nice enough. Take into consideration, about a year ago, i was addicted to drugs, barely came home, my anxiety was so bad i couldnt do anything, my grades and attendance sucked, all i did was yell at everyone and freak out and then i decided to change  and i really made an effort to get better, without the support of my family who cant even addmit i have ptsd, they think the doctors are full of crap. and now i work two jobs, have amazing grades, am actually thinking about the future and really HONESTLY am trying to be a good daughter and help out as much as i can but my dad still is saying that compared to my sisters, i dont do anything!
for the past four months, my anxiety, depression and ptsd have been ok, exept when my family does stuff like this, then i what to k*** myself. i keep thinking i'm not good enough for them.
i'm the oldest  and when my sisters and i were younger, i stuck my neck out for them, my mom would start yelling at them and id get into an argument with her so she wouldnt end up hitting them. and my mom would tell me i wasnt good enough to talk to them and wouldnt let me help them with their homework. and after she left, my family still acted like she was still there telling them to stay away from me. i really dont want to be the black sheep, what can i do? does anyone esle feel this way? i've talked to them about it and have breafly explained it to my therapist but they're no help. i really need some advice
thanks

[apple]

I am also the black sheep in my family.  Altho I treat people with dignity and am a loyal friend...my family are the same way with me.  I'm 32 now and have a great family.  I live a real good life, have a great relationship with my husband and have 2 very happy kids.  Unlike my parents and siblings.  Yet they all treat me as if I'm screwed up.  That I dont amount to much...my husband and his family think I'm petty good stuff tho.

Anxiety issues...no matter how severe...do not make you less of a person..not ever.  You have qualities about you that totally make up for it!!  Trust me.  Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, or how good we try to be...we will still not measure up to our families.

Make the most of yourself reguardless.  Dont allow thier shortcommings become yours.  You should be very proud of how much you have changed your life for the better! 

I do understand tho.  It took me 32 years to stop caring for thier acceptance.  I wanted them to be proud of me and like me.  That I will never get.  But I do get those things from my new family and my good firends.

you are a great person.  you have already done great things.  Keep on being strong. 

[comeasyouare]

thanks apple!

i know what you mean.