Am i depressed

[bonoadamlarryedge]

Im lonely even though I have a lot of friends.
I stay in my bedroom and just want to sleep and when I wake up I feel like breaking down.
i cry every day.
I think about cutting myself now and again.
I take Xanax every day and I cant sleep unless I take my xanax and melatonin.
I work graveyard so all I do is sleep and work. I do go out drinkin fridays and saturdays with friends and this makes me happy but I drink way too much and when the night is over i feel alone.

Im 37 alone, I have wanted kids all my life but I feel like i have lost that chance.

Lasy year I got divorced and went straight into another relationship and totally fell in love with this girl, she dumped me to go back to her man because of the kids. I miss her so bad and have lost my best friend.

I feel helpless, the xanax works for a while but I wish I could get off the damn drug.

I have no motivation, I dont think at any point in my life i have been happy.

just needed to get this off my chest.

why cant i just be  fuckin happy.

[ocdengineer]

Have you seen an anxiety disorder specialist.  It sounds like depression to me, but it could be just that you are down on yourself over the failed relationships.  That would make anyone depressed, but I would see a doctor.  Xanax won't help with depression, only anxiety, so I am wondering why you are taking it?  I would discuss your mood with your doctor and see what he/she things.

Hope you feel better soon!
OE

[bonoadamlarryedge]

I was prescribed Xanax when I was married cuz I was having anxiety problems. I wish I never took the damn stuff. Trying to get off it is not easy.

I have been to the doctor and all he gave me was a bunch ofr free meds to try, I never took them cuz they cost way too much money that I dont have as I have no insurance.

[ocdengineer]

It depends on the medication and the person.  Some people have excellent results with Xanax like me, and others have bad experiences as is the case with any type of drug.  Anxiety disorders and depression can't be pin pointed to a particular medication based on certain sets of symptoms.  There is a spectrum of disorders all of which behave differently to different meds, so to rule one out is a mistake.  Sometimes it takes awhile to find the medication that works best for you.

Xanax is not addictive, but it does cause dependency which means withdrawl and difficulty getting off the medication in some cases.  Some people take it for years and can wean off with little to no problem, others can't.  The same can be said of antidepressants, but the important thing is does the end justify the means?  Is your immediate comfort more important than taking a medication for a long time?  In my case that is yes,for others that may not be so.  Addiction implies that the medication causes tolerance which means you need to take more and more to get a therapeutic effect and it also implies that the person taking the medication would take it even if they knew it was potentially killing them which again is hardly the case with Xanax.

Bonoadamlarryedge,

I am not a doctor, but if you are depressed there are many things you can do on your own to solve the problem.  Have you done any reading on anxiety disorders and depression?  It can really help you understand what you are dealing with.  Also, diet is important.  Avoid stimulants and depressants which include nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine.  Exercise is great for anxiety disorder and depression.  It naturally increases serotonin levels and other neurotransmitters just like medications.  I meditate for relaxation and thought control.  Other use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which can be either learned from a therapist or read in a book.

It stinks that you don't have insurance.  It seems the people who need it most, coincidentally, are the people who don't have it.  I am sorry about that, but there are free services, so keep checking those out.

Take care,
OE

[TheFishman]

The pain I know so well.........at least you not alone.

[bonoadamlarryedge]

It depends on the medication and the person.  Some people have excellent results with Xanax like me, and others have bad experiences as is the case with any type of drug.  Anxiety disorders and depression can't be pin pointed to a particular medication based on certain sets of symptoms.  There is a spectrum of disorders all of which behave differently to different meds, so to rule one out is a mistake.  Sometimes it takes awhile to find the medication that works best for you.

Xanax is not addictive, but it does cause dependency which means withdrawl and difficulty getting off the medication in some cases.  Some people take it for years and can wean off with little to no problem, others can't.  The same can be said of antidepressants, but the important thing is does the end justify the means?  Is your immediate comfort more important than taking a medication for a long time?  In my case that is yes,for others that may not be so.  Addiction implies that the medication causes tolerance which means you need to take more and more to get a therapeutic effect and it also implies that the person taking the medication would take it even if they knew it was potentially killing them which again is hardly the case with Xanax.

Bonoadamlarryedge,

I am not a doctor, but if you are depressed there are many things you can do on your own to solve the problem.  Have you done any reading on anxiety disorders and depression?  It can really help you understand what you are dealing with.  Also, diet is important.  Avoid stimulants and depressants which include nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine.  Exercise is great for anxiety disorder and depression.  It naturally increases serotonin levels and other neurotransmitters just like medications.  I meditate for relaxation and thought control.  Other use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which can be either learned from a therapist or read in a book.

It stinks that you don't have insurance.  It seems the people who need it most, coincidentally, are the people who don't have it.  I am sorry about that, but there are free services, so keep checking those out.

Take care,
OE

thanks for the advice.

I do drink alcohol which is one thing I dont want to give up :-) I know it makes me more depressed.

I do have a gym membership so I better get my arse down there.

The xanax helps for a while but recently I have had to take more for it to work. I have tried to get off it but the withdrawals are really awfull.

[ocdengineer]

Yea, the withdrawl can be nasty.  How much are you taking right now.  Check out this web site.  It gives info on how to deal with the Xanax and how to withdraw properly.

http://www.lexington-on-line.com/naf_xanax.html

Take care,
OE

[Jamie]

It depends on the medication and the person.  Some people have excellent results with Xanax like me, and others have bad experiences as is the case with any type of drug.  Anxiety disorders and depression can't be pin pointed to a particular medication based on certain sets of symptoms.  There is a spectrum of disorders all of which behave differently to different meds, so to rule one out is a mistake.  Sometimes it takes awhile to find the medication that works best for you.

Xanax is not addictive, but it does cause dependency which means withdrawl and difficulty getting off the medication in some cases.  Some people take it for years and can wean off with little to no problem, others can't.  The same can be said of antidepressants, but the important thing is does the end justify the means?  Is your immediate comfort more important than taking a medication for a long time?  In my case that is yes,for others that may not be so.  Addiction implies that the medication causes tolerance which means you need to take more and more to get a therapeutic effect and it also implies that the person taking the medication would take it even if they knew it was potentially killing them which again is hardly the case with Xanax.

Bonoadamlarryedge,

I am not a doctor, but if you are depressed there are many things you can do on your own to solve the problem.  Have you done any reading on anxiety disorders and depression?  It can really help you understand what you are dealing with.  Also, diet is important.  Avoid stimulants and depressants which include nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine.  Exercise is great for anxiety disorder and depression.  It naturally increases serotonin levels and other neurotransmitters just like medications.  I meditate for relaxation and thought control.  Other use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which can be either learned from a therapist or read in a book.

It stinks that you don't have insurance.  It seems the people who need it most, coincidentally, are the people who don't have it.  I am sorry about that, but there are free services, so keep checking those out.

Take care,
OE

thanks for the advice.

I do drink alcohol which is one thing I dont want to give up :-) I know it makes me more depressed.

I do have a gym membership so I better get my arse down there.

The xanax helps for a while but recently I have had to take more for it to work. I have tried to get off it but the withdrawals are really awfull.

OCD gave you a lot of great advice and xanax is hard to reduce. Fortunately I did not take it that much so I was lucky but even I had a hard time weaning off of it as little as I took it. I am one of the big champions of CBT here on the site and wanted to urge you to give it a try. Thanks to CBT I am off all meds and feeling in control of my life again. The best thing about CBT is that it puts the onus on you to get better rather than a therapist or drug. If you are willing to work at the exercises you will get better and it won't cost you an arm and a leg. Go to your library and chack out the book by Sam Obitz. You can read the entire book in a little over an hour and it may motivate you to give CBT a try. Take care and don't give up hope, especially about having kids as you still have plenty of time for that

[Gator]

It depends on the medication and the person.  Some people have excellent results with Xanax like me, and others have bad experiences as is the case with any type of drug.  Anxiety disorders and depression can't be pin pointed to a particular medication based on certain sets of symptoms.  There is a spectrum of disorders all of which behave differently to different meds, so to rule one out is a mistake.  Sometimes it takes awhile to find the medication that works best for you.

Xanax is not addictive, but it does cause dependency which means withdrawl and difficulty getting off the medication in some cases.  Some people take it for years and can wean off with little to no problem, others can't.  The same can be said of antidepressants, but the important thing is does the end justify the means?  Is your immediate comfort more important than taking a medication for a long time?  In my case that is yes,for others that may not be so.  Addiction implies that the medication causes tolerance which means you need to take more and more to get a therapeutic effect and it also implies that the person taking the medication would take it even if they knew it was potentially killing them which again is hardly the case with Xanax.

Bonoadamlarryedge,

I am not a doctor, but if you are depressed there are many things you can do on your own to solve the problem.  Have you done any reading on anxiety disorders and depression?  It can really help you understand what you are dealing with.  Also, diet is important.  Avoid stimulants and depressants which include nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine.  Exercise is great for anxiety disorder and depression.  It naturally increases serotonin levels and other neurotransmitters just like medications.  I meditate for relaxation and thought control.  Other use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which can be either learned from a therapist or read in a book.

It stinks that you don't have insurance.  It seems the people who need it most, coincidentally, are the people who don't have it.  I am sorry about that, but there are free services, so keep checking those out.

Take care,
OE

[Jamie]

Bono, how are you doing now? Did you mange to get off of xanax?