It is so hard right now

[werner]

Hi everyone,

I feel I am in the middle of a life and death struggle at the moment. Never thought I would be so open in a forum but just need to talk. I work as a mental health peer support specialist in a not for profit organization. I am on sick leave now. None of the tools I have learned to cope with my low moods and stress are working for me now. I feel so guilty for not being together right now. The meds are also doing nothing right now. They seem to have stoped working. I am also drinking now and not taking care of myself. I know that this is irrational and won't help me in the long term but I need relief. I am the one that keeps things going in my family...the 'cured' person who has to have all the answers. I cannot tell my family about this. They have been through enough already. And I don't want to go back to hospital. It has been 8 years since my last stay.

What am i going to do?

[spitfireatme]

Well, you know you obviously should quit the booze. Go exercise. Eat something healthy that tastes good. Get thinking positively about things - you didn't mention exactly what your struggle is (depression I assume from the forum) but fish oil is supposed to be a good preventative, foods with omega 3's like hemp seeds. I love naturalnews.com for a bunch of health ideas. Create meaning in your life; give to others and you shall receive. Make a deeper connection with God and pray for Jesus' help (well, if you're Christian - I'm Catholic-Christian). Do things that matter to you and others. Make others happy and you can be happier yourself. Play with people. Love others and you yourself are loved!

God bless!

[LindaRK]

Dual diagnosis (drug/alcohol use) is quite common with depression and anxiety-related disorders.  Definitely try to get off the alcohol as this could make things worse for you.

Don't be so hard on yourself - I facilitate support groups, too.  I take care of lots of people in my family and beyond.  They think I'm strong, but I let them know that I'm not THAT strong and I do make mistakes and I do need breaks along the way.

I think it's important to communicate this to your family so you won't get so stressed about having this huge weight on your shoulders in regards to caregiving.

Being in-patient is not a bad thing.  You might be at such a low point in your life, this is what you might need to do.  And, that's okay.  It will get you back to a place where you can go back to your job and enjoy life again.