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Author Topic: feeling unsettled  (Read 12557 times)

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Offline itsjustme

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feeling unsettled
« on: July 05, 2007, 08:03:30 PM »
Sometimes,  I have this weird feeling...kinda half anxiety, half depression. The best I can explain it is to say that I feel very unsettled, that my life is unsettled. Maybe it's because this is my last semester of grad school & everyone around me is getting married & blah blah blah. I feel like I don't know what to do with my life, really. I mean, I know I'm going to get a job, but that's about all I know. I feel confused about everything else. And I'm really worried that I'm never going to be happy in my life. I have nothing in my life to be upset about, so why can't I feel as happy as I should, as happy as other people seem?

It's very odd. I used to freak out because I felt like I was almost done with school, so that meant my life would be settled..and I didn't want it to be settled because that made me feel anxious that I wouldn't have anymore goals to work towards. Now, I'm freaking out because I want it to be settled.

I should also add that within the past two years, I've put myself out there more than ever...which you would think would be a good thing. At first, my anxiety skyrocketed, but then it settled down. But I still always go through periods where I just feel weird mentally. Before, all I ever did was go to school & hang out with my long-time boyfriend. That's it. Then, I decided I wanted more out of life. Broke up with the boyfriend in an effort to be more independent & "find myself." So, now I hang out with friends, go on a date from time to time, moved hours away on my own to attend grad school, working super hard in grad school...so why don't I feel better about myself? Why do I feel so weird mentally/emotionally? Why do I feel like I'm not good enough? Why do I feel like I'm being judged negatively? Why do I feel like I'm going to fail? Why do I feel like no one likes me? Why do I feel like I'm never going to find anyone to be in a serious relationship with again? Why do I feel like I have no identity? Why do I feel like I'm playing a role? I feel like I might as well go back to my old life where I sat at home & depended on my boyfriend....I thought I was doing a good thing by trying to get more out of life. Yet, even though I was content back then, I feel like I couldn't go back to that same situation and be content again. That time is gone. So now I'm just stuck in between with no where to go to be truly happy.

I probably make no sense.  :spineyes:

Anyone kinda understand what I'm trying to say?
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Offline Beth

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Re: feeling unsettled
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2007, 12:23:05 AM »
Hi,

I think I definitely understand what you're going through, because I went through something similar when I was about to graduate from college (this was about 12 years ago, by the way).

First, to be honest, I dreaded graduation, because I didn't want to have to get a real job, leave all my friends behind and most likely break up with my boyfriend (he was going to grad school, and my job was halfway across the country). I was really genuinely happy in college and didn't want my life to change so much so quickly.

But, then it did. I started working in a new town, where I really didn't know anyone. For a while, a couple years actually, I had that really unsettled feeling. My job was giving me experience, but I wasn't all that happy. I made a couple of friends, but they were nothing like my friends from college or even high school. To top it all off, I was terribly worried that I'd never meet someone that I wanted to marry. Some of my friends got married right after college graduation, and I felt like I was "falling behind" everyone in the big scheme of life. Nothing seemed to be clicking.

All I can tell you is that after a few years, all of this passed. I did meet someone really great (my husband), and I'm pretty happy with my life. My job isn't perfect, but career isn't first and foremost with me, anyway. I never wanted to be a career-first person, and I think that was part of my anxiety at graduation. I felt like all I had to look forward to was a job -- and that wasn't what I really wanted from my life.

You are definitely not alone in your feelings. I think they're pretty common. And, the thing is, sometimes we look at other people and assume they have it all together because they're getting married or having kids or getting a great job. But sometimes those people feel just as "unsettled" as we do -- we just don't know it.

I think you're very normal. It makes sense to have unsettled feelings anytime you're about to move to a new stage in life.

Hope this helps,

Beth
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Offline itsjustme

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Re: feeling unsettled
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2007, 12:45:55 AM »
Thanks for sharing your story. It helped a lot. I feel better knowing that this is something normal that others go through at this stage in life. Thanks again.
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Offline Beth

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Re: feeling unsettled
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2007, 01:00:34 AM »
You're welcome -- glad to help  :happy0151:
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Offline anxious B

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Re: feeling unsettled
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2007, 09:05:30 PM »
Hi

Been lurking for a while but your post really hit me, since that how I've been feeling 'unsettled" and having the same questions about failing and people liking me and being independent and everything else you said, I get it.  I just finished grad school, but I've been dealing with it on my won for many years, however for the past six months I began teraphy and medication, which had helped, but I still struggle every day. It is comforting to know I am not the only one, I hope you too seek help if you haven't, because it took me a long long time to finally do it and it has been hard. Thank you for sharing.
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Offline figuringitallout

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Re: feeling unsettled
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2014, 02:50:16 AM »
Well, Google brought me here and your post basically quotes my thoughts.  So, anything work?
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