Anxiety and driving

[x_chelsea_x]

Hi everyone,

I have suffered from anxiety for about four years now. I have seen a few different psychologists but nothing has worked for me. I'm looking for any advice here. I think it will be helpful talking to people with similar experiences.

The question I have here is in relation to driving. This is a problem I have only developed in the last four weeks and I've never had any issues with before then. I just can't understand why it would only just happen now. Basically, whenever I drive I feel like the car is going way faster than it actually is and I feel extremely nervous and anxious. I feel trapped because I might be in the middle of a busy road with a car full of people and there is no way I can get out of the situation until I reach the destination. Sometimes I even feel like I'm going to faint while driving. As a result of these experiences, I'm starting to get myself in embarrasing situations. I don't want to tell anyone my issues (except my fiance) in fear of what they might think but it is obvious to others that something is going on when I drive. Now, everytime I have to drive with other people in the car I feel extremely nervous for a few hours beforehand. I start to shake and feel ill and sometimes I have an anxiety attack. I heard that avoiding the situation only makes it worse so I have continued to drive but it is not getting any better. I just want someone to understand me. To those without anxiety, my recent anxiety experiences with driving are difficult to explain.

Has anyone experienced a similar situation? Any advice?

[doubleyousee]

Have you considered just driving around somewhere, like a parking lot, where there's no traffic? Maybe you just need to confidence back. Driving can definitely be scary if you over think it.

No matter what, you may want to drive less when you feel this way. Fainting while driving would obviously be very dangerous and simply being so anxious could impair your ability. You wouldn't want to risk yours or others lives over it.

Maybe just tell people what's going on. Sure, it's embarrassing, but a lot of people go through things like this. And you'd be surprised how much it can help your anxiety just by making other people aware of it. You no longer feel like you have a huge secret to hide. And then if it becomes too much, simply say I need to stop, and pull over and have someone take over.

[x_chelsea_x]

Thank you for your response. I'll definitely give all these suggestions a try.

As I said I never had issues with driving in the past and I was always very good at it. I feel lucky that I got through learning to drive and all the graduated licence schemes before this actually happened. Anyway, I think this is why I didn't want to stop driving because I never wanted to lose this ability. But you have made me reevaluate my priorities in the sense that it now seems more important to make sure myself and others are not in dangerous situations because of my driving rather than preserving my ability as a good driver.

In relation to telling other people, I can relate to your point here. A large part of my anxiety is to do with the fact that people don't know about my driving issues. I feel nervous that I will get in embarrassing situations and I'll have to tell people. If I tell people before that probably means I can pull over and get out of the situation before I otherwise would. I just fear that people will think I am crazy. Certain people already know a lot of my phobias/anxieties and I always wonder if I have gone too far in revealing my issues.  With that said, telling people does seem like a better option.

I'm going to practice driving by myself more often.

Thanks

[x_chelsea_x]

I forgot to mention that for the last three or four years (almost the entire time I've had anxiety) I regularly got the feelings I described above when I was the passenger in a car. I was totally shocked when it started happening as I was the driver. This makes me wonder if there is some link, if elements of this driving anxiety were already there before four weeks ago.

[doubleyousee]

It sounds entirely likely that it was present before these last few weeks. Maybe you were involved in a minor accident when you were younger? Or maybe you saw one happen? It could even be that you saw a movie where it happened, and for some reason it implanted some kind of trigger in your subconscious.

Regardless, I genuinely do think it's a good idea to make people aware. People won't think you're crazy, specific anxieties are more common than you think. At the end of the day, everyone has their own worries. For people like us, it just effects us more. All I know is that for me, telling people when I'm feeling anxious has often helped a lot. The stress of trying to hide a panic attack can often trigger one. And if someone is stupid enough to think you're crazy over something like this, then maybe they should be walking to where ever they need to go. 

[Ravens Lady]

Hi Chelsea,

Good for you for wanting taking some initiative to improve your situation with anxiety.   

I'm not an expert, but here are a few ideas you may want to keep in mind.

Caution in the car at healthy levels is okay and a positive thing... Fear, at healthy levels, can be our friend and not our foe

Right now it seems you are a bit self conscious and uncomfortable with the amount of fear you are experiencing with driving.  Well, its true that you shouldn't be as fearful as you are, but I'd like to remind you that a little tiny bit of caution and fear isn't necessarily a bad thing.  Fear (when in proper portions) is healthful for us in certain situations.  Its your mind and body's way of reminding you to be careful over a situation that needs your attention and concern.  You might feel like you aren't the best driver because of your level of fear (and yes its true that too much fear isn't ideal) but too little fear and concern isn't good either, and may lead to people doing dangerous, risky stuff.  I'm assuming that you are a very attentive driver (and attentive is good).  You just don't want to become too fearful, because then it may begin to inhibit you being at your best in the car. 

The reason I say the above to you is because I'm concerned you might be becoming too self-conscious or lacking confidence in the car.  Let me ask you, how are you as a driver?  You might FEEL like an uncomfortable driver, but what is your driving record?  Because I know some people that are a bit more tense in the car, but they actually are great drivers with little or no mistakes.  I'd rather be with them than with someone that has no fear and takes too many risky actions. 

Next, I read a really good book that talked about rewiring the brain when it gets stuck in cycles of fear.  It went something like this.  When a fearful thought comes, do the following:

1) Acknowledge the thought.  Trying hard to repress it is not going to work.  Instead, acknowledge the fear but do not give it more significance or power than it warrants.  Think of it as a thought just passing through your mind that may stick around for a bit or hopefully pass through soon.

2)Find humor in the thought or find a way to process it so that it is not powerful.  Take control of the thought instead of it controlling you  Sometimes laughing can help you to shrink the power of the fear.  If you are scared about the fear of driving, imagine yourself driving down the road singing a song on the radio as loud as you can with the wind blowing behind your hair, singing away your fear.  I know this may sound silly but if you find a way to 'outlet' these feelings and make them less intimidating, they won't have as much power over you.  Imagine yourself in the car, happy, fun, and not allowing that fear to stop you. 

3) Distract yourself Once you have acknowledged the fearful thought or feeling, and then hopefully found a way to process it, do something else and put your mind on something new.  If the fear bullies its way back into your mind, its okay, just send it out when its done and think about the new thought.  This could be paying attention to colors of cars on the street.  Or singing a song on the radio, or listening to talk radio. 

Honestly, some people seem to be more prone to phobias than others.  Then we become more self conscious about it and we get stuck in cycles, but really, the fear often has a lot of bark, but not a lot of bite.   There are most certainly ways that you can retrain yourself to process your fears to the point that they will no longer have the power over you.  I'd start out first by not being ashamed about the fear, because like I said, caution and concern in the car is not a bad thing.  After that, you can learn ways to refocus your mind when fearful thoughts pop into it and when you feel your anxiety level raising.  Yes, you DO have the power to have a good amount of control over it. 

Good luck, and stay optimistic.  I know that you can definitely improve your situation with some work.  :)

-Ravens Lady

[Rudyray75]

Chelsea, I had been driving semi for 33 years, The last couple of years got so bad with my Gad.. I had to pull off the road all the time because of Dizziness, Brain fog, Sleepiness, etc.. I was a running nightmare!! Instead of causing an accident, Possibly 0669 or others, I had to retire at the young age of 52.. I have since gone on Disability for my GAD..

[wally247]

Hey Chelsea,

  I too have developed driving anxiety within the last 6 months or so. I'm OK driving around most places, but if I have to get on the freeway I hate it. If I can take an alternate route I do sometimes.

I think for me it is because so many people think they are so important that they have to text and drive, and I can't stand it. If someone cuts me off or almost runs into me, 99% of the time I look to see them on their damn phone.

Anyway, there is only one thing to do to make it better....more driving!


I had to drive on the freeway the other day and I got anxious as usual, but I did live through it. I've simply learned that avoiding things just doesn't make the anxiety go away, so I drive and if it sucks......then it sucks I guess.

Thing is though, it does get better.

The good thing about anxiety is that 'fight or flight' feeling actually is the body feeling more alert, not less. So I just have conversations with myself, telling myself that if I have to be really prepared to keep driving that my body/brain will know what to do.


I don't have any specific tips, but Ravens Lady has some great ones that will work if you try them...I promise.


Try listening to some music while you drive though. Even though you may not be into it, if you sing along or rock out or whatever you are into, it keeps your mind on simpler things, and driving goes back to what it was before.....automatic!

Good luck, and just keep driving and it gets better.

W

[kinikia]

one thing that helps me a lot is listening to audiobooks i borrow from the library.  nothing too serious, just interesting fiction.  it distracts me from my fear.

[sniz403]

I'm 26, and I've had anxiety while driving as long as I can remember. My driving record only has a 2 accidents on it, both of which are from my first year driving (I was 17). It's one of my many problems.

There are some legitimate reasons that started my anxiety while driving. I don't have good depth perception (lazy eye), I have trouble seeing at night, and I have a horrible sense of direction. The worst is the sense of direction. I forget where everything is all the time, if I don't go there on a daily basis (like work, or the store around the corner). At night time, I can be driving down the same road I've known for years, along the same route I always take..and I panic. Sometimes I question if I'm on the right road - at night time it seems like the streets and landmarks completely transform into something I don't remember.

Because of my lack of depth perception, and general anxiety, I find it hard to judge things like when to pull out making a left into a busy street. A fear I usually have when going somewhere unfamiliar is that there are all these little things I don't know - to say in the right lane or I won't be able to get to it later to make my exit, which way do I go in a confusing intersection with white lines going in every direction (I feel like I'll accidentally go the wrong way into oncoming traffic or something).

I feel like this has played a root cause in my current social anxiety, as I was never able to go out to bars with friends or on adventures. I feel imposing by never offering to drive, and of course I could never face taking a girl on a date. It cripples me, and I never leave my house except for work, or the store.

[kickthegrog]

I cant stand having someone in the car with me it freaks me out    I can't make conversation and i just wish they would sit there and be quiet, sometimes i'm ok but if the little anxiety bug is floating around i'm stuffed, Which can be bloody hard because i work as an electrician and we drive around alot. But if i'm by myself i love it and can drive forever, i hate how it makes you feel and stops you doing things you want, funny thing for me is i revolve my life around bikes and cars and i even drag race my own car which i do well but then put me in the drivers seat and fill the car with people talking and i go to bits go figure, crazy anxiety 

[LisaBean]

I totally understand. My anxiety has been terrible lately, and though I have had times while I'm driving in the past, I think it was more I just so happened to be driving when I had the panic attack. The past few months whenever I get on the highway I feel the exact same, like I'm going amillion miles an hour and the road actually appears to peak in the middle and I feel like I'm pulling to the side of the road. It's terrifying. I've pulled over many times cause it was just too much. I think mine has to do with the thoughts I've been obsessing about lately, that I will die and leave my daughters without watching them grow.
   Anyway, what I have been doing is kind of similar to what you have done. I usually just keep on driving. I do take alternate routes if possible, as the regular roads don't freak me out. I also roll the windows down and sing to the radio and tap my hands on the wheel, just try to stay in the moment I suppose. I'm sure I look ridiculous, but it helps to get me to where I'm going :)

[mgm60]

My hands often sweat and feet get cold when I drive especially at night.  My glasses bother me at night and I avoid driving during that time.  I can deal with people in my car.  I mean people I feel safe with.  But having a stranger or someone I perceive as critical make me nervous like hell.  I get very anxious because I feel they are being critical about how I drive. 

[x_chelsea_x]

Thank you so much for all of your responses. I'm definitely going to keep working on a number of these suggestions. It helps to know that others understand how I feel. Tonight I finally built up the courage to tell people that I trust about my driving anxiety. I've want to for ages but I could never work out how to say it. I'm pleased with myself telling the truth about how I am continually trying to get out of driving. You're right, it doesn't feel as though I am hiding a huge secret anymore. I still feel embarrassed about it but there is some weight that has been lifted off my shoulders. Hopefully I won't be placed it as many difficult driving situations that I can't cope with anymore.

[MtIdaHog]

The first panic attack i ever had happened while driving and of all places a school bus full of kids. I still have problems to this day and have changed my driving habits.

I get real nervous and have lightheadedness, dizzy spells, my eyes feel as though they cant focus. I also get cold feet and fingers. But i seem to pull it together every time i drive. I drive to work and back daily. Talking to my wife on the cell phone in the mornings help me alot. I also count the cars which i pass. That seems to keep my mind busy. If my mind is busy it helps with the anxiety alot.
I hope you get better i just wanted to let you know that someone else has the same problem.
Bob

[x_chelsea_x]

I've had a short break from this site but its good to be back and realise that more people can relate to me. I'm getting by. Sometimes my driving anxiety will be really bad and other times it has not been as bad. So its been really on and off for the last couple of months but (apart from the mornings being generally worse) I generally can't predict when it will be bad so I still try and get out of driving whenever I can. I'm totally freaking out now. I have to drive my sisters on Friday night. It is a long drive and no one else can do it. I can't get out of it. I told some people in my family about my driving anxiety so I wouldn't get in these situations, but I still find myself placed in this terrifying, unavoidable situation of a long drive on Friday. It is also to a busy place which will stress me out more. I'd do almost anything for it to go away for just one night.

[GabbyMomof3]

There was a time when the fear or anxiety of driving consumed me and I didn't drive. It was horrible because I love to drive. I feel in control driving, so when my anxiety became so bad, my husband had to drive for me which just drove my anxiety higher. I went into full blown panic. So what I did was just start driving again. While it was a hard thing to do, I felt it in me to fight that feeling. So I started driving again. I'm not saying I don't get anxiety attacks while driving, but when I feel them coming on, I turn the music on and sing.

I agree with others about telling other people in your car you have anxiety, that way if you start shaking or having other anxiety symptoms, they do t get scared thinking it's something bigger. That way they can help you wether if it is to finish driving to your destination or helping to ease your fear by talking to you to distract you.

[kerri124]

Please keep driving! Even if you practice driving alone just for a few minutes at a time just keep doing it. I had horrible anxiety while driving and it got worse and worse. My world got smaller and smaller and now I haven't driven at all since the end of Oct  Just keep exposing yourself to it because once you stop trust me it is so hard to start back up again.