Scammed... almost.

[pop_and_drop]

I've been terribly anxious for the last month, and I haven't been able to get my anxiety back to normal levels. As I was feeling increasingly hopeless, I chose to break-up with my girlfriend. I just couldn't deal with anyone anymore; I can barely handle myself these days.

Now, of course, a break-up is a stressful experience, and I'm feeling awful. I have intense stomach pain (it keeps me from eating and sleeping properly), and I'm struggling with obsessive thoughts about the mistakes I've made, the weakness I've shown, and everything I know I should do but can't do.

I've done everything I knew I had to do up until I exchanged one last look with my ex-girlfriend. But now I'm completely disorganized. I can't concentrate, my appartment's a mess, I'm newly unemployed (I wasn't fired - the contract is just over) and I'm feeling horrible.

I know I have to get my life back together. That's what I did last time. I worked hard, went to the gym, got a job, got a girlfriend, had good times... but now I'm back here, and I KNOW if i don't kill my problem at the root, I'm doomed to go back where I have started. My relationship was a good "patch" for a while, but it became increasingly hard to maintain in place. I'm messed up at the core.

And I NEED help. My therapist scheduled an appointment, but in the meantime, I'm looking for help online (I practically have no friends).

I fell on the "Calm Clinic" website and their "triad technique". I felt the 7-minutes test offered a good diagnosis (it matches up with what my therapist has been saying), and the speech the site's editor gave was encouraging. Of course, now they want my credit card info, and the whole thing screams scam. It sounds way too good to be true. The only reviews I can see on the internet are OBVIOUSLY written by sockpuppets. There are various blogs on the net with just ONE post in them, touting the "triad technique" as a life saving solution for anxious people. Come on. There's even a fake organization (iaoad.org) supporting the "Triad technique" as the only self-help program worth recommending. You can't contact the organization; it's faceless, and nobody with the right credentials even seems to be behind the whole thing anyway. Don't fall for it.

Anyway, it makes me so ANGRY that someone who obviously knows how debilitating anxiety related disorders can be would try to exploit the most desperate of us.

Now hopefull I can channel this anger into a good gym session.

[Josee_DN]

Hey!  Thanks for the heads up.  I remember stumbling upon the Calm Clinic, and took their test too.  I gave them my email and the results were nice to read.  On principle, I never sign up for anything online unless friends offline recommend it... but I know not everyone thinks the same way.  Hopefully someone reads this before falling for anything.

Anywho, I hope your situation improves.  I'm in a similar boat as you (unemployed, few friends, treacherous stomach etc) and I understand the pressure.  Best advice I can give at this point is to make yourself a schedule (time to search for work, to clean up, to exercise, to work on your issue etc.) and don't beat yourself up, because that energy is better spent working with yourself to get better.  And despite being new here, everyone seems really helpful and supportive so post away!

[pop_and_drop]

I'm doing a little better today. I've loaded my schedule with things that  I know will help me improve.

I found some unexpected support from family. I'll try to avoid isolating myself so much this time around...

I need to learn to feel better in this world... to tame it, somehow.

[Josee_DN]

I'm doing a little better today. I've loaded my schedule with things that  I know will help me improve.

I found some unexpected support from family. I'll try to avoid isolating myself so much this time around...

I need to learn to feel better in this world... to tame it, somehow.

That's great to hear! 

I had a hard time 'coming out' with my anxiety but once I did it really helped.  I know it's silly thinking the worst of a situation or of myself, but sometimes you can't stop it from ruling you until another person tells you that your life isn't going to end if this and that happens.  Sometimes I feel guilty and shameful for asking for help, like I'm weak... but I try to see myself like a bottle of swirling negative emotions, whose cap I can't open by myself.  If I can't open my salsa jar and ask my dad for help, do I feel shame and guilt?  No.  So I shouldn't feel like that about my inner bottle... as strange as that metaphor is.   Anywho, go out and do what you need to do to get better.  We'll be here for you while you're at it.

[pop_and_drop]

If I can't open my salsa jar and ask my dad for help, do I feel shame and guilt?  No.  So I shouldn't feel like that about my inner bottle... as strange as that metaphor is.

Men don't get away with it as easily as this. For men, shame is the price to pay for weakness; if a weak man does not feel ashamed, others will make sure he does. As a man, there are many things you do not have a right to when you are perceived as weak.

In this politically correct age, few people will admit to thinking in such a ridiculous way; but most will behave according to it.

And while I may have compassion for myself in times of distress, the world is not going to stop being what it is to suit me: I know that much.

That may seem like a harsh dismissal, but I do appreciate the support. :)

[Sandra01]

If I can't open my salsa jar and ask my dad for help, do I feel shame and guilt?  No.  So I shouldn't feel like that about my inner bottle... as strange as that metaphor is.

Men don't get away with it as easily as this.

Says Who?

 For men, shame is the price to pay for weakness; if a weak man does not feel ashamed, others will make sure he does. As a man, there are many things you do not have a right to when you are perceived as weak. [/quote]

AGain what?

That is your impression of what man should or shouldn't do. This is not a fact.

Strong people accept their weakness and learn to live with it and conquer it. Then they become inspiring because despite their weakness they accomplished things in life.

Nobody can make you feel ashamed. Only you can allow yourself to be ashamed for things there are out of your control.


Your well being shouldn't be determined on what other MEN or WOMEN might think. Your confidence should not be determined on what a MAN should do or not do to look good in this society.

No, the world won't stop for you  you are right but it also doesn't stop to convict you of your weaknesses either. It moves along just as you are.

Breaking up with your girlfriend may have not been such a good idea as one doesn't have to be a loner to conquer anxiety. People are created to be relational. Vulnerability attracts.

You are not alone against the world. everyone does mistakes, has weaknesses and messes up big time. Everyone!

With my bouts of depression, anxiety and compulsiveness I realized one thing and that is that a therapist is not helping me, neither are self help books, medications or self websites. But that could be just me.

The more I concentrate on what is wrong with me with all these aboved named things the more hopeless I become. I try to be a contributor to society the most when I am suffering from depression and anxiety. I focus on things outside of me and away from depression and anxiety.

It has proven it always helped me the most.

As for not having a job soon I understand that it hurts, causes anxiety and makes one depressed. Instead of going to this self therapeutic websites maybe you can sign up on job searching websites to focus on the real problem which causes your symptoms of anxiety and depression and that is finding a job so you get your confidence back that life will go on even when your job ends.

[pop_and_drop]

You're right, I got carried away.

I've always lived in such competitive environments... if I don't watch out it'll wreck my soul and drive me insane.

[Sandra01]

It's all good.

[fallensnow4]

Thank you.

I was thinking about trying it because nothing but taking loads of chemicals has helped me, and going through withdraw from meds is the worse feeling on the planet. So I thought that maybe giving this a try wouldn't be so bad because there is absolutely no medication. But the lady speaking in the video after the test kept stressing me out even more....talking about all the symptoms of anxiety only made my current symptoms worse.    And now you provide pretty darn great proof it's not all it's cracked up to be.

So I owe you a huge thanks. There was a free trial I signed up for that I'm now canceling.