how do you explain anxiety to your partner?

[candycorn]

Hey guys, my husband and I usually handle problems well, but my new anxiety diagnosis has been a huge challenge! The first few times I had an anxiety attack he was really understanding and supportive, but now he just shuts off, saying this makes him "tired and sad." He says that if I believe my doctor that nothing's wrong with me (I have health anxiety), then this wouldn't be an issue at all.

I've explained to him that anxiety is a mental illness and by definition doesn't respond well to logic. I believe my doctor, but I still feel scared. I've told him that he needs to be more understanding and empathize with me more, and the best response to my anxiety attacks would be for him to say "it's okay, I love you." He is trying (with varying success), but we still end up with him shutting off emotionally and me crying. We'd like to go to couples counseling to try and deal with it, but our insurance doesn't cover it, so that's off the table for now.

Anyone ever dealt with something similar? How do you explain anxiety to your partner in a way they'll understand? How did they learn to deal with it in a positive way? We've talked about this multiple times, but can't seem to deal with it constructively.

[Cuchculan]

It can get complicated when one person doesn't really want to know. As if they know the answers. ' It is all in your head '. If only it was all that easy. We would all be better by now. Chaning the thought pattern, whereby it is the right approach, it is a very hard thing to do. Maybe bring him onto this forum. Let him enter the chatroom any night of the week. He will see many others like yourself. And mabye discover that it is not just as easy and hearing from a person that it is all in your head. That is the last thing we like to hear. Another suggestion would be maybe try and get him to go along to a theraphy session with you. So the therapist can put a few questions to him. See what it is like sitting on the otherside of that chair. The therapist could explore his fears about your condition. What it is that he doesn't want to accept. Is he afraid of what others might think if they find out you have a mental health condition. Once all this is put to him he might begin to get a better understanding of you and your life. That it is not something you want. It is not something you asked for. It is a condition you are working hard to get rid of. And by putting you down as he is, is not going to help you out at all. These are just things he needs explained to him by a therapist. As your doctor and your husband would probably see eye to eye. Just glad I don't have that doctor. Or simply let him read any replies you get to this thread. If it was all in our heads and that easy to solve we all wouldn't be on this site. We would all be out enjoying life to the full. Health anxiety is probably the most common form of anxiety as well. Just let him view the forum section on HA. He can do a bit of reading from those who suffer day in day out.