Anxiety increasing after gyno visit, and more....

[anxietychick]

Having a rough time after my yearly gyno visit today.... health anxiety is so powerful and yet hard for some people to understand.  My gyno does listen to my anxiety issues and tries to support me with sound advice but once i leave the office I just cant think clearly. All in all everything appeared to be fine but now I have to wait for the pap results which is really scaring me. also, the nurse checked  my urine and said there was a tiny bit of white blood cells in it but not a bladder infection. I asked the doctor about it , more than once, letting him know how it was really setting off my anxiety, and he said it was not anything that concerned him. Said it was such a tiny amount it could be anything really so why can't i just go with what he said and move on? I am sitting here convincing  myself i have lymphoma and that's why there was blood in my urine...

 I really don't want to take drugs but how can i get through normal life events? I had my dermatologist remove a mole that i saw as dark brown and scary looking, i mean i saw it in the mirror... weird how he showed it to me before he sent it off and it was just this light brown mole. Came back as just a mole too.... I have had numerous ultra sounds and ct scans, only thing ever found was ovarian cyst just over a year ago.

I dont even want to eat anymore because I  am scared to get sick from some food poisoning. If anyone can relate to any of this I would just like to know that I am not alone because i feel so detached from everything right now.

[anxietychick]

I feel like I am going insane....
So today I am going over all the possible diseases that would cause blood in my urine and have been googling like crazy
I also noticed that my nails on my thumbs have some reddish color in the half moon area, googling this symptom has set off a severe anxious feeling as i am now convinced I have some type of blood cancer

[sixpack]

here are things you can do:

1. Therapy---meds if you and your doctor feel it is appropriate---everybody is different on this issue.
2. self-help books--lots of good stuff out there these days ---Claire Weekes has good books out there that explain how it all works.  I read The Roadless Traveled by M. Scott Peck many years ago.  He speaks to people in a variety of ways.  He has a few other books too.   
3.  Exercise---even if you don't want to.  At first you are likely to feel miserable and panicky feelings are likely to bubble up OR rush at you.  It is BEASTY (your anxious overthinking) causing this.  But do it anyway.
4.  Eat a healthy diet.  This helps on all kinds areas of your life.
5.  Forums often have helpful advice.
6.  Hobbies--anything that completely immerses you in it and keeps you occupied.  This helps because eventually you'll get snippets of time when you feel good.  These are teaching moments because then you know it is obsessions/anxiety mucking with you.  After a while those snippets turn to hours then days etc.
7.  Don't pity yourself.  You can have a happy life.   As we experience life, we change.  Having any form of anxiety will impact your life just like all life experiences do.  But that isn't necessarily a bad thing.  Even once you are on the road to recovery, you will have a 'new' normal but that doesn't mean you aren't happy and fulfilled.

  You cannot allow your mind to run roughshod over you!  If you go to a doctor and he/she tells you that such and so is NOT a concern, then it isn't.  Many people have a few white cells in their urine.  My eldest did a couple of years ago.  The doc said it was at most a UTI.  But since she is disabled we can't ask her the questions necessary, so he sent it off for a more detailed test.  Turns out to be nothing. I Don't get the lymphoma from the urine?  That isn't any kind of usual presentation.  With lymphoma you are VERY ill.

You said you don't want to take meds?  Well what do you want to do to get better?  After you've tried all of the non-med routes and I mean REALLY tried and if you are not better, then maybe meds.  Bottom line you have to decide if living in fear like this is better than taking meds.

[anxietychick]

Thank you so much for replying, I just feel so emotional right now and it really means a lot that you took the time to answer my post.  I just dont know how to break free from this... I have this huge fear that as soon as I let go (of the HA) I will find out that a test is bad or something will happen. I have this deep rooted fear that life is not meant to be happy for me and that as soon as I let my guard down something bad will happen. How messed up  is it that I dont want to invest in curtain rods for my living room because I think things like that are a privilege for happy healthy people. 

I was using some audio therapy , lucinda something or other, that helped briefly but then something always comes up and knocks me down. I honestly feel like i am suffocating in a sea of worry.

[sixpack]

Thank you so much for replying, I just feel so emotional right now and it really means a lot that you took the time to answer my post.  I just dont know how to break free from this... I have this huge fear that as soon as I let go (of the HA) I will find out that a test is bad or something will happen. I have this deep rooted fear that life is not meant to be happy for me and that as soon as I let my guard down something bad will happen. How messed up  is it that I dont want to invest in curtain rods for my living room because I think things like that are a privilege for happy healthy people. 
I was using some audio therapy , lucinda something or other, that helped briefly but then something always comes up and knocks me down. I honestly feel like i am suffocating in a sea of worry.

that right there is VERY common with hypoes thinking (well not about the curtain rods in particular  )  It is called magical thinking.  Oh as long as I worry that I could have something, it protects me from it happening.  It is all very silly but very much a part of a ha thinker.

[plomeli]

Hello, just wanted to let you know that I went through a very similar situation a couple months ago. I went to the doctor for a physical and my urine test came back with traces of blood and white blood cells and the doctor looked at the results asked me if I was on my period and I said no. She them tells me  everything is ok.... Then I needed a copy of the physical, I wanted to go see a neurologist because I had severe twitching. Anyways to make a long story short she gave me the copy and a lot of the urine results were abnormal but apparently there is a scale of abnormal and mine where at about a 1 or 2 so the doc thought it wasn't serious (I had a trace of blood and white blood cells). But of course I spent weeks worried. Im still here and I am doing well so I know its hard but dont worry too much because you'll just make yourself go crazy. This issue happens to tons and tons of people it's not uncommon at all! Take care!