Fallen again

[apple]

I am feeling terribly depressed again.  It was triggered by this bloating problem I have.  See http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php?topic=4698.0

Here I am...living in a really nice home, having a very loving and supportive husband, have 2 wonderful happy kids, have nice pets...loyal friends and look at me wining and feeling miserable.

I feel incredably useless and beneth everyone because I dont work, I'm on lots of meds, and I am consumed by saddness today.  I want to enjoy life...I want to feel beautiful, I want to be intimate with my husband but I lost the ability with the meds, I'm so bloated I look pregnant, I hate what the cost is of taking the meds altho they keep the anxiety away.   I can not win.  I'm afraid I am wothless.  I feel hopeless and lost. 

I need you

[sanderella]

Sorry to hear that, I know how you feel though, I often feel useless and worthless.

The thing is you are not beneath anyone because you don't work, why should we measure ourselves in terms of productivity or paychecks? That's not what life is really about. Work sucks, if you don't have to do it then don't apologise for that!

I think you are underestimating your value to your husband and kids, they love you and need you. You are spending your time and energy looking after your family, raising your kids, there really is no more important job and they will appreciate you for the rest of their lives.

I hope you feel better soon. We are here for you. 

[ocdengineer]

What about other meds that may not have such a bad side effect profile?  There are tons of new meds out there that might help?  I hope you feel better.  You did reduce the amount of medication you are taking recently, right?  Maybe that was a bad idea at least in the short term until you can find a good alternative.

I hope you feel better,
OE

[King]

Risperdal is known to cause weight gain (if you're still on it)...you could ask your doctor about a switch to similar meds that dont have this side effect...Seroquel is thought to be much safer re: weight gain and has similar profile versus EPS.

The other consideration is now that you have been diagnosed with Fibro and if you are feeling less anxious generally then perhaps you could taper off the Risperdal?

[gloomy]

Apple, I am really sorry to hear your having a bad time, and truthfully I dont know what to suggest, I just wanted to respond so you knew I was here as support.

I dont think reminding ourselves of all our good things in life ever really helps us shake our mood.  I hope you can find some answers to some of this.  I dont know anything about the meds you take so dont know anything about alternatives.

Are you seeing your doctor again soon?

[marney05]

So sorry you are not feeling worth anything.  This is one of the worst parts of anxiety, in my mind.  You see people enjoying life, you almost hate them for being happy.  There are so many times I feel envy for other people.  I often have the same thoughts, I live in a new great house, I just finished my doctorate, I have two great dogs, and a wonderful husband, but I am unhappy and have lost my interest in everything.  But, I know deep down, this will pass, and one day, hopefully soon, I will come through the fog, and smile again with a true unfaked smile!!   But, until then we come here to get support and know we are not alone!!  Hope you are better soon!!  Take care.

[apple]

I guess my friend says lots of people have been asking her if I am pregnant...   I bought new shirts to hide it a bit.  I feel a little better going out now. 

I dont know if its the anxiety of this situation or the lower dose of risperdal but...I'm a bit irritable now.  I hope it eases up and I can get by on the lower dose.  uhhh...

[lamy12]

As a working mom....I can tell you that the three days I am off and stay home taking care of my 2-year old are much more demanding than my job.  You are not below anyone and are doing the toughest and most important job in the world. 

You know that it is the depression/anxiety talking and it willl pass.  Do what you can to take care of you. Hire a sitter....go get a massage....or anythimg you enjoy to refocus and rejuvinate yourself.  Talk to your doc about your symptoms and feelings!!  Maybe something else would work better for you.  We're herer for you!! lamy

[gloomy]

How are you feeling now Apple?

Just wondered if there had been any change in your mood

[TheFishman]

I think modern western society and what it expects of people causes a lot of problems just on it's own. I hope by now you are feeling better. Why not give your kids a hug or hug your pets. Put on some nice music, Bake something really nice for everyone to eat as a family.

[apple]

I am feeling better now...thanks for your thoughts.

I have spent some alone time with my daughter and boy it feels good. 

I am out of my pit.  Thanks to all of you for being my support